July 26th, 2025
Emergency Meeting, Cowboy State Daily

To: All editors and writers

Subject: Letter approval policy

Someone approved publication of this letter to the editor which appeared in yesterday’s edition. We need to find out who did this, and we need to remind staff of Daily Cowboy policies. Hence the meeting.

The letter breaks a variety of editorial rules, prominent among them restrictions on content linking firearms and suicide. But it goes well beyond this, lecturing our readers (from the writer’s perch at the Bloomstein School of Health in New York City) on red flags, storage, and other matters in which this state and this paper take no interest.

I look forward to seeing all of you at the meeting.

Managing Editor

July 25th, 2025
A little context, yes?

New Mexico is currently – arguably – America’s most dangerous state. Read this post about Albuquerque. Remember that in 2023 a desperate NM governor declared a health emergency that made it illegal for anyone to carry a gun for thirty days. Everybody went nuts and boohooed and fuckyoued and i’ll sue your assed but the poor woman had just had enough of eleven year olds reduced to bloody pulps and she couldn’t think of anything else to do. She had it in her silly mind that murder by gun has something to do with guns.

Things are still so bloody in NM that I would avoid the state. An artsy weekend in Taos, sure; but don’t, for instance, let your kid go to college there. As we speak, the University of New Mexico is locked down – on new student orientation day! – because a shooter has already killed one person and injured another, and the police can’t find the guy.

What I’m trying to tell you is that statistically you’re significantly more likely to get blown away in and around Albuquerque NM than in most other places in this country; and even if you dodge every bullet, you might find it a little traumatizing to be in this ultimate gunny setting all the time. There are tons of colleges in Boston.

****************

They caught the dude but haven’t identified him yet. Based on voluminous precedent, let’s play Pin the Tail on the Suspect.

He’s a guy.

He’s nineteen years old.

Skinny.

White.

Lives with mom and dad, who own twenty guns. He owns ten.

Name long Mayflower kind of thing: Edwin “Win” Stackpole the Third.

Everyone who knows him knows he’s nuts, “and I always tell everyone,” says an acquaintance to a reporter, “that he shouldn’t be anywhere near guns.”

*******************

I was off on the age by one year. Nineteen seems young, but in fact the killer was eighteen, and he killed a fourteen year old.

 [T]he four were hanging out in the dorm room — which belonged to one of the occupants, a student — playing video games when the shots rang out. He said police were still investigating why gunfire erupted. He also declined to discuss why the 14-year-old was on campus, or what relation he had to others in the room.

Ooooh motive let’s see… The babe wouldn’t stop playing Bulletstorm and it pissed off the teenager who has been looking, for some time, for an excuse to shoot off one of his guns. There’s your motive.

***********************

18-year-old Suspect Arrested in Shooting at University of New Mexico that Left 14-year-old Dead

In current American terms, 18 means ‘veteran shooter.’ Gun-onset age keeps dropping, so much so that soon the more routine headline will read

14-year-old Suspect Arrested in Shooting that Left Ten-year-old Dead

and so on, over the years, down the line.

And hey – capitalism.

July 23rd, 2025
A lunatic with a loaded gun walks into a preschool…

Heard this one before?

[Logan] Thorp walked up to the church side of the building and tried to open the doors, which were locked. He pressed the buzzer and a member of the church staff came to the door

Thorp pushed past her, despite her telling him the church wasn’t open. The staff member summoned the superintendent, who found Thorp in the sanctuary. The superintendent talked with Thorp for a while, trying not to agitate him. Eventually, Thorp tried to walk down the preschool [corridor] but found it locked, and the superintendent directed him to the exit.

On his way out, Thorp said he would have kicked the glass in if the church staff member hadn’t let him in … After he left the building, Thorp stood on top of his truck and used his hands to mimic holding binoculars up to his eyes pointing at the church. When the superintendent asked what he was doing, Thorp made a motion with his finger and hand going across his neck as if to indicate a threat of harm.

******************

Amazingly, he not only failed to shoot up the place, but was just convicted of carrying a gun on school property. Should keep us safe from him for a year or two.

July 23rd, 2025
“Having kids climbing fences holding guns is just a bad idea, no matter how you slice it.” 

Neighborhood pool, Baton Rouge. It has been closed, mere days after it was inaugurated.

That’s in Louisiana:

The honor code of “guarding your respect” and “he had it coming” endures. [It’s] possible to “risk your life just by insulting the L.S.U. Tigers.”

“I’m more concerned now than when I wrote [a 1998 book about it,” said a local history professor.] “People are armed to the teeth.”

And by people I mean eleven year olds.

July 21st, 2025
“We never question God but this is one we just don’t understand.”

Buddy, you spend your life telling everyone God Loves Guns.

What’s not to understand?

**********************

The Bible says in Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

I hope that the Adams take comfort in that verse. I hope they can one day look forward to their reunion with their son.

July 21st, 2025
‘Shocked and Praying Again, Kentucky Lawmakers have a Long Record of Doing Nothing About Gun Violence’

Great headline in Kentucky Lantern, which goes on to detail that state’s fierce commitment to its flag.

Whoops. I mean

July 20th, 2025
Oklahoma Drills, American-Style

“There was about 50 kids on [Panama City] beach when this happened, and they’re doing Oklahoma drills, and that’s where they run at each other and tackle one another. That ended up in an argument and fight which resulted in somebody firing a gun off.”

English as a Second Language, Declension Lesson:

FOOTBALL DRILLS

ARGUMENT

FIGHT

GUNFIRE

July 19th, 2025
It’s right out of a movie!

Gun battle outside of an LA nightclub in front of which many people await admission, or mill around at closing time, or something. A driver involved in the fight is shot, loses consciousness, and drives straight into the crowd! Zillions hurt, some critically. Wow! Can’t wait to see the footage.

****************

Update: Still a confused story; police are looking for a bald Hispanic gunman… ?

The crowd dragged the guy who rammed them out of his car and beat the shit out of him and the guy already had a gunshot in him which we can’t say much with certainty about this event but it’s clear this person had a very bad Friday night.

**********************

https://www.facebook.com/boogiethaboogiemonstah/videos/1077821250657534

***********************

So now it sounds as though after they dragged the (drunk?) driver out of his car, some passerby shot him.

This sounds very plausible. Very American.

************************

The increasingly reliable narrative of the event is one so familiar to UD.

The driver, drunk and disorderly, had been thrown out of the club; enraged, he got in his car and rammed it into people in front of the building.

I’ve seen this a lot of times; angry men who’ve been refused admission to venues, or thrown out, return with deadly weapons.

July 19th, 2025
Open Quarry

‘Police reported that a man, acting erratically, used a victim’s firearm to fatally shoot him.

The victim had been exercising his legal right to openly carry the weapon when the suspect, identified as 36-year-old Kyle Capucci, managed to seize it.

Jeff Margetta, an educated gun owner, expressed concerns about open carry practices. “I see people open carry, and they do not watch their surroundings at all,” he said. “And that’s kind of a scary thought, because someone could come up behind them, take their gun, and then they’re liable for what happens.”

***********************

Yeah but this guy’s way past liability concerns.

July 18th, 2025
School staff are so afraid of him, they refuse even ONLINE interactions.

Sure, after you expel the violent psycho with the loaded gun from your high school, you could continue his education virtually… But try finding anyone among your teachers willing to risk his getting to know where they live!

His parents (did they give him the gun?) have filed an angry indignant lawsuit; they cannot believe that just because their little one

was found with a loaded handgun near campus on Oct. 28, triggering an increased police presence that day as well as on Oct. 29, when a false report of an active shooter sent the school into a lockdown… Raleigh police detained J.S. and two other students behind Peace Street Market, which is just across from [the school]. They had left campus without permission on Oct. 28 around 10:30 a.m.. According to police, J.S. was in possession of [a] loaded firearm. He tried to run from policeExtra police were at Broughton for two days. Student attendance dropped as some parents kept their children home… In November, a district administrative panel recommended a long-term suspension of 365 days and expulsion. Wake County Superintendent Robert Taylor backed the recommendation... In April, a school board appeal panel upheld the 365-day suspension and expulsion... The student had “a pretty recent history of physically aggressive behaviors on campus” that … was increasing in severity.

… just because of the fights he routinely picked at school, his force backed up by a loaded pistol… just because of these teeny weeny infractions… the school, plus an appeals board, threw his wittle ass out totally! He’s just a child! A child with a loaded gun! Big deal!

July 17th, 2025
Prone on the Range

Out here in nowhere OK, which is all about guns booze divorce no broadband and no people, suicide is all the rage; and when you’re ready for your Beretta to the brain, more and more folks are realizing that nothing beats a gun range — your one-stop-shop for pop pop pop. Or just pop.

They’ll hand you a gun, man, and while fellow shooters might be put out by your suddenly bleeding all over the place, that’s a whole sight better’n leaving a mess at home for your roommate. Here it’s a bunch of strangers who’ll call 911 right away no muss no fuss.

Which is why gun range suicides are a thing; they are a growing subset of gun suicides not yet exploited by the gun ranges, but I don’t see any reason why they shouldn’t start advertising as venues. As OK State Sen Nathan Dahm (who personally made sure OK don’t have NO red flag laws) says, “Everyone dies. That’s life.” I mean SHARUGGG. SHRUUUUG. WTF. BFD. We’re cowboys out here.

You charge more cuz there’s more cleanup — not just a crew to sweep up spent casings, but a special contingent ready to try out a bit of CPR before handing the body off to EMTs and then sopping up the blood/brain.

July 15th, 2025
‘Police reports say that at the end of the confrontation, [Kevin] Turner can be heard saying, “I can do whatever I want to do; I’m the mayor!”‘

Butte City Mayor Kevin “Have Gun will Gavel” Turner got pissed at some people during a city council meeting and pulled out his loaded Hi-Point 45 ACP model JHP. He seems to have started banging it loudly on the table (hence the “gavel” part of the name I just gave him) and to have screamed a lot. UD‘s favorite scream, with its keen sense of checks and balances, features in this post’s headline.

Good news is he did not proceed to rip open his camo shirt to reveal a swastika beneath. By Idaho standards, this makes him a moderate.

July 13th, 2025
Disassembly of God

 Tommy Fargis [is] the pastor at Deep Creek Baptist Church [NC], which is situated within earshot of [a] gun range’s location.  Fargis conceded that [the range owner’s] seemingly cavalier attitude about his church’s repeated complaints have tested even his own capacity for Christian forgiveness.

“He promised me on two different occasions that ‘we’ll stop shooting on Sunday until after your service,’” Fargis [said]. “That lasted one week. And I don’t take kindly being lied to because as pastor of Deep Creek Baptist Church, I represent Jesus Christ.”

**************

“The peace of the Lord

CHOOMCHOOMBLAMCHOOMBLAMPOPOPOPOPOPOP

be with you and also

WHEEEEPOPPOPWHAMBANGBANGBANGBLAMCHOOM

*******************

Anyhoo the pastor’s client got His own back.

July 11th, 2025
Richmond Va. doesn’t need any help amassing, aiming, and shooting guns.

Richmond Va. already has a shockingly high gun homicide rate; the good citizens of that city have long since proven their brilliance at getting guns and shooting them at people they want to kill (often turns out to be everyone). Folks from six to sixty are out there bangbangbanging.

UD therefore wonders whether the city needs yet another massive shooting range (these are only the best ten local ranges).

The annual Richmond murder rate has dipped a bit in the last couple of years, so maybe it’s as simple as Richmond not wishing a further drop in the rankings.

July 11th, 2025
“Mississippi is the nation’s worst state in which to live.”

But it’s the best place to die! Especially if you’re a child.

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