Trustee, NYU. But… when your trustees include Maria Bartiromo, I guess you’re past caring.
Pray tell me, Sir, whose dog are youss?”
Do you know how many high school basketball/football games end in gun fights in this country?
Lots; and the numbers are growing. Now watch as the phenom – utterly predictable as all of America resolves tiffs with one of the four hundred million guns available – moves to the college sports scene.
“Herschel was like a plane crash into a train wreck that rolled into a dumpster fire. And an orphanage. Then an animal shelter.“
A Republican comments on Herschel Walker.
To cite the title of your book.
If the first thing people discover when they Google your name is that you’re homophobic, they’re probably not going to want you to hang out with their children. Got that?
A young politician named Herschel
Has a brain that is all but inertial
His night and day REMs
Made it easy for DEMs
To run some amazing commercials
But how lovely the karma, dear readers!
… makes sure its universities share fully in this bounty. Its two highest-profile campuses – U New Mexico, and New Mexico State – are POP POP POP POPPIN away with healthy rivalry, on the basketball court and off! (For the long glorious sports history – there isn’t any other history – of both schools, go here.) Now that both schools’ teams are literally engaged in an ongoing shooting war, the basketball coaches have, uh, started to issue statements and shit.
When your schools are dumpsters instead of colleges, and when your basketball teams are gangs (with the coaching staff apparently part of the gangs), instead of basketball teams, you should…
Oh I dunno. You’re down there with your guns and your gangs, leading your best life now, living out loud, standing in your truth, letting a smile be your umbrella, and ain’t no place of mine to look at the carnage and say one damn word.
“I must say I’m very upset about the antisemitism in the U.S. today. It’s not fair. Kazakhstan is the number one Jew-crushing nation. Stop stealing our hobby. Stop the steal. Stop the steal.”
Man Jumps to his Death off
Mickey and Friends parking lot
at Disneyland
****************
For more Don DeLillo, postmodern, deaths, go here.
About 45,000 people in a central North Carolina county [full of retirees] remained without electricity Sunday afternoon after two electric substations were damaged by gunfire…
*******************
“T’aint nothin,” said Evelina Stanton, 95, a Moore County native, as she packed up a few belongings and moved to an emergency shelter for the week or more it will probably take to get the power back. “I liked to fool around with guns when I was young; we all did. No big deal.”
Indeed a spot poll among county residents showed a majority agreed with the statement GUNS SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN OUT OF THE HANDS OF DOMESTIC TERRORISTS.
********************
Gonna be a real Merry Christmas!
If you promise not to stage a revolution, we promise to pull back the boys we trained to kill all the women. Whaddaya say?
TO BLUR, WITH LOVE
Those golden days of blurring Jews
Because they’re girls are gone.
But we’ll take power soon
And then the blurring will still go on and on.
But why do we blur the girls
In a modern liberal democratic state?
Why do we treat them like Iran?
Israel covers and blurs
Because God said women are profane.
The fleshly filthiness of girls
Makes pious haredim insane.
Your wigs and baths and heavy robes
Will please the lord above
And so your newest government says
To blur! with love.