JD Vance — hump-mad, childed, wannabe vice president — addresses the nation on the cautionary tale of Mel Tucker, once one of America’s most highly paid coaches (around one hundred mill for a few years work) who, simply because he masturbated rather than coitused, was thrown out of his coaching job, and now has to sue MSU for hundreds of millions of dollars to get some of that loot back!

“My fellow uni-ethnic Americans: Mel Tucker had a choice. He could insert himself procreationally into his wife and increase his low yield of only two children so far. Or he could nonprocreationally pleasure himself while having phone sex with a woman not his wife. Because he took the ungodly path, Tucker lost everything, and America [weeping] lost a child.”

A Republican Senator comments: “We’re getting spun up about cats and children. And now how somebody looks,” she said. “Does it make any difference how much Polish ancestry versus Irish versus whatever else it is that I have in me? Why are we talking about this?”

Childed hump-mad vp candidate JD Vance immediately called anyone not on board with Trump’s one-ethnicity idea “hysterical,” thus extending his psychopathologizing of a vast range of American citizens, millions of whom he identifies as “sociopaths” because they don’t do babies as enthusiastically as his own missus. Vance’s running mate uses more everyday, less sophisticated, terminology relating to mental illness for the majority of Americans, calling virtually everyone he encounters psycho crazy lunatic nuts wacko etc all the livelong day. As Kamala Harris says, it’s “the same old show,” and even Joe Rogan, who predicts a Harris victory, acknowledges it’s getting really, really stale.

“They just want no Trump, no matter what.”

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Trump tries to figure out ethnicities.

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So in the course of less than 40 minutes, Trump reminded people of his promise to pardon the mob that assaulted police officers during the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol, threw his own VP candidate under the bus, insulted and attacked a room full of Black journalists to their faces, and said that Kamala Harris is not Black.

Nice summary.

As if we needed a headline in Live Science – in this political season – to tell us that.

Asked what [Trump] meant when he once said immigrants were taking “Black jobs,” he said: “A Black job is anybody who has a job.”

Sorry, but when you’re a literature type, you sorta live for tweets like this, about Trump being interviewed in front of a group of black journalists today.

“This NABJ interview is a great example of why the people who demand that we de-platform Trump are wrong. People should see this!” former Republican political consultant Tim Miller tweeted. “A grumpy, cruel, hard-of-hearing, race-baiting, asshole having to actually answer for his track record in an environment outside of his comfort zone.”

Amendment 4 … enshrine[s] the right to abortion in the Florida Constitution.

WUH OH!!!!!

Mamma mia. Even Trump-mad Floridians aren’t on board the whole no contraception no IVF no abortion get a whole shitload of knocked up to carry out your uterine duty AND safeguard THE DEMOGRAPHIC FUTURE OF THIS COUNTRY thing. Childed VP candidate Vance will drag his wife and kids down to Tallahassee early next week to announce she’s preggers again – with triplets! – and then she’ll take the stage and announce she’s abandoning her legal career which has been frying her fallopian tubes.

… case. One of the more disgusting frat bro events this blog has covered over the years (the most disgusting of course was the Tucker Carlson/JD Vance beer fest), the pitiable death of Timothy Piazza at the hands of sadists at Penn St has inspired anti-hazing legislation, but it has also generated long years of appeals and delays in the hugely deserved sentences given to the degenerates who let the guy die.

State prosecutors said he was served 18 drinks in 82 minutes and then suffered life-ending head and abdominal injuries when he fell... Piazza was found unconscious in a fraternity house basement the day after the event, but emergency medical responders weren’t summoned for 40 minutes.

Details? How he was left unconscious all those hours? You don’t wanna know. Forty minutes? You can see their dilemma. No booze allowed and hey then how come this dude’s dead of alcohol poisoning? Let him lie there and maybe he’ll sprout in a few years.

 Vomiting, bruised, in agony, his limbs literally stiffening in front of his fellow drunks’ eyes, Piazza attracted little attention beyond mocking laughter, Snapchatting, and rough, random efforts to change his position so he wouldn’t choke on his vomit.

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More than 1,000 counts have been brought against 18 members in the largest criminal indictment against a fraternity and its members in US history...

Video played in court showed that Piazza collapsed just before 11.30pm but no-one came to his assistance.

He was then seen repeatedly collapsing as he attempted to crawl, rolled around the floor, vomited in his sleep and went in-and-out of consciousness over the course of the next eight hours.

As the hours passed he was body slammed into a couch by one frat member, had a beer or multiple beers dumped on him by another and later lay comatose while one young man threw his shoes at the visibly inebriated college student...

A fraternity brother who was present following that first fall revealed in an interview that he was thrown against a wall when he tried to help Piazza, a claim that is supported by footage shown in court.

Kordel Davis could be seen making animated gestures after seeing Piazza lying on the couch, at which point he is slammed into a wall by another member of the fraternity.

UD likes that formulation.

This also is good: A writer calls him lethally calm.

… Project 2025.

But Project 2025 lives forever!

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand shits who blow.
I am the fascist state that crows.
I am the authoritarian’s chain.
I am the rightwing Catholic brain.
When you awaken having elected Trump
I am the swift uplifting jump
Of weirdo creeps who carry blight.
I drag your freedom into night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

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Trump’s hump-mad natalist VP was “thrilled” to write the foreword to the Project 2025′s pontiff’s cri de cœur, and UD can’t wait to hear his speech denying, uh, that he, uh, wrote the foreword.

‘Vivian Vance. It was VIVIAN Vance…‘

Listen to France’s sports minister speak to Ukrainian athletes.

Democrats have already had a field day with Vance’s “childless cat lady” comments. There are signs they will take aim at Republicans’ broader concern with procreation and the birthrate, too.

On Monday, a super PAC aimed at youth voters called Won’t PAC Down posted an ad to X suggesting that Republicans’ focus on people’s private sexual conduct is just plain “weird,” drawing on an attack line that has been deployed by Harris and some of her allies.

“Your genitals are reserved for procreation,” says an elderly white man in a sweater vest, as ominous music plays.

Ex-NRA Head Wayne LaPierre Given 10-Year Ban After Corruption Verdict

Only 14, with so many years ahead of him.

Pinellas deputies have arrested a 14-year-old boy on a first-degree murder charge after they say he shot and killed a woman with his father’s gun last week… [T]he 14-year-old confessed to shooting Fernandez at random and said he got the gun from his father’s bedroom…

Soviet or post-Soviet, Vance’s best bud.

UD lately has featured preppy upbeat mugshots, but here’s one that’s simply …vintage. Our man hails from the barrens of Stanton Nebraska. He likes to get shitfaced, leave his feloniously owned shotgun at home, mount his ATV, and bomb through local streets.

[A] four-wheeler was observed being operated recklessly at high speeds and running multiple stop signs near the Stanton County courthouse.

Sheriff Mike Unger, who was on foot in the area, attempted to stop the four-wheeler near 7^th and Jackpine, but the driver failed to do so and nearly struck the Sheriff as he accelerated away from the residential area at 70 to 80 mile an hour estimated speeds.

…  [The charges are] speeding, multiple stop sign and ATV violations, willful reckless driving, and driving while intoxicated-2^nd offense. He was also charged with being a felon in possession of a firearm after … a search warrant at his residence turned up a shotgun and ammunition.

Somebody forgot to smile!