September 22nd, 2022
America’s Theocrats Might Want to Take a Look at What’s Happening in Iran.

Our Christian Nationalists, Cathophate-Planners, and assorted hierocrats need to start thinking about how hard they’re willing to crack down – once they take over the country – on what’s emerging as a more and more secular American population.

Harvard’s Adrian Vermeule and his Xian Morality Brigade fully expect that, when we spiritually parched people taste the blessings of the strict – but loving – Xian state, we will be blissed out, flooded with gratitude, and utterly obedient:

Subjects will come to thank the ruler whose legal strictures, possibly experienced at first as coercive, encourage subjects to form more authentic desires for the individual and common goods, better habits, and beliefs that better track and promote communal well-being.

I’m thinking their Mullah-Doubles over in Iran must have felt just as confident when they decreed deadly divine dicta for everyone (but specially for breasty hairy femmes); yet a glance at the current situation in that glorious theocracy tells you you got trouble right here in Isfahan City.

See, when a small group of woman-reviling fanatics who think they have a pipeline to God take over a government and start imposing their twisted morality on everybody, things might not turn out all that well. Iran’s on fire, sparked by the Morality Police’s inevitable murder of a young woman whose body swaddling was insufficiently tight to excite the squad. Bad girl and now we will beat you and kill you wow did that feel good.

Not sure how much longer the fun can last. The orgasmic release of harlot-homicide may be less and less available to the pious men of Iran as the country’s population torches the cities.

September 21st, 2022
‘A general retardation that extends not just to women but to every aspect of personal freedom and civic rights.’

Nesrine Malik’s description of many Middle Eastern countries applies as well to America’s haredi enclaves, where a fiercely cultivated mental and civic retardation has reduced ultraorthodoxy to an increasingly peculiar, increasingly belligerent, cult.

Because, by definition, many ultraorthodox people don’t know how to argue, UD will charitably refrain from linking to their efforts to defend themselves against the now-notorious New York Times article; she will say, however, that the origins of this group’s virtually one hundred percent full-throated support of that noted polemicist Donald Trump now become clearer to her. As do the origins of their outsize presence at the January 6 rally and even at the insurrection. No one should be surprised that violence is the last refuge of the illiterate. It’s the only voice they have, I guess.

September 18th, 2022
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear…

… when Antwerp’s haredi community, faced with the same educational mandate New York’s haredim are facing, did something altogether amazing — something NY’s haredim might want to take a look at.

[The Belgian haredi community] asked the court to fine the government $6,780 per child for every day the [mandates] are in place.

Good golly Miss Molly! THE STATE HAS TO PAY US, PER DAY, THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, PER CHILD, AS LONG AS IT INSISTS ON OUR EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN.

The suit was ” strongly denied … by the court,” for some reason… But maybe the strategy could work here! Maybe demand more of a per child per diem? 10,000’s a nice round number. Something to start bargaining with.

September 18th, 2022
‘Parents, former students and teachers have outlined a systematic denial of education, which they say is intended to prevent them from succeeding outside the Hasidic community.’

Systematic. Intended. Wowza.

‘Hasidic girls’ schools sometimes refuse to release transcripts to their graduates who need them for secular colleges.’

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To find a precedent for this grotesque behavior, you have to go back to ancient China, where women’s feet were deformed through binding, so that they would be more easily exploitable in work settings, or competitive in marriage.

In general, though, the phenomenon of a community intentionally disabling its own young people in order to force them to stay within the tight bounds – if you will – of the community is so perverted that it’s very hard to find any precedent at all.

September 17th, 2022
Why in the world would anyone send their kids to these schools?

 “It’s important to understand how young these parents are when they enroll their first child in school,” [a member of the ultraorthodox community] said.

Typically, hassidic couples have an arranged marriage around age 18, [Rayne] Lunger explained. “Then the expectation is to have kids right away. So at age 21, the expectation is that they’ll send the kids to the school that’s part of the hassidic group they belong to. … You have no connections outside of your own community, and no support,” Lunger continuedLunger was born and raised in New Square, an all-hassidic, or ultra-Orthodox, village in Rockland County, New York, ranked as the state’s poorest municipality.

September 17th, 2022
America’s Most Famous Yiddish Song is a Haredi Anthem.

The Nothing Song first captures, in Yiddish, the Nothing Modern/Nothing Permitted character of ultraorthodox life:

Montik, gornisht
Dinstik, gornisht
Midvokh un Donershtik gornisht
Fraytik, far a noveneh
Gornisht pikveleh
Shabes nach a mool gornisht

It then, in English, moves on to the yeshiva curriculum:

Reading, nothing
Writing, nothing
Even arithmetic, nothing
Geography, philosophy, history, nothing
Social anthropology, a lot of nothing

September 16th, 2022
‘As for those who want those walls to fall so that poor, oppressed ḥasidic children can taste the pleasure of liberal autonomy—well, as we say in Yiddish, zol zayn mit mazel.’

On one level it’s more hysterical overreach in the face of people who merely argue that American children should learn basic literacy; but the sentence has a value-added something. “The pleasure of illiberal dependency” sounds not quite right as the opposite principle to “the pleasure of liberal autonomy.” What more easily rolls off the tongue is something like the rigors of illiberal dependency; for an ignorant, isolated, impoverished life of lockstep obedience to rabbis cannot – the writer would I guess say should not – be easy. (Hatam Sofer declared, “Every­thing new is forbidden by the Torah.”)  You’re after a life which – with its strict rituals and rules and repressions – represents a daily rebuke of modernity’s shapeless hedonism.

Of course, the writer also intends sardonic irony, for we all know that the seeming pleasure of free — read deracinated — societies quickly turns to ashes as secular modernity’s inescapable meaninglessness and loneliness drives all of us outside of yeshivas to suicide. Indeed we are incessantly assured of the rich communal meaningful happy lives within fortress u-o; and yet Shaul Magid notes that these assurances, like a recent one by Liel Leibowitz in Tablet, are “purely speculative. [Leibowitz] has never lived in [an ultraorthodox community] (I have) and his judgment is a purely romantic, or more likely opportunistic, view of one gazing in from the outside.” Sounds as though Magid didn’t think his community was very happy.

Would you be happy if you were kept from learning anything about the world you share with all of us outside fortress u-o? To read the writer’s account of modern university education, for instance, is to try to wrap your head around a world where schools like Yeshiva, Touro, Brandeis, Baylor, Liberty, Ave Maria, Hillsdale College, and many other religiously serious institutions do not exist. ALL colleges corrupt, which is why your high schools need to aim for total illiteracy – the inability to sign your name on your SAT test:

[P]reventing college is the point. Ḥasidic parents are absolutely opposed to their eighteen-year-old sons or daughters attending college for the entirely rational reason that college consists of a complete immersion in a culture antithetical to Ḥasidism…

Come, come. The other reason – you fail to note it – is that the community makes sure eighteen year old girls are already arranged-married and knocked up, with no future to look forward to but more kids. How entirely rational.

September 15th, 2022
‘In Hasidic boys’ schools, some teachers regularly smack, slap and kick their students… During religious study, we found that rabbis hit students with rulers, belts and sticks wrapped in electrical tape, sometimes for minor misbehavior. For example, many recent graduates described being hit for not pointing their finger at the word being read aloud by the rabbi. In the past, Hasidic classrooms were more brutal environments. Recently, some schools have asked teachers to be less violent in disciplining students. But we found that more “mild” corporal punishment remains very common. Virtually all of the dozens of parents we interviewed said their sons had been hit at least once. Several said they had sought to protect their children by “tipping” their teachers, usually about $100 a year.’

Aint dat nice. A spiritual protection racket. We fallen-away Jews have so much to learn from the real Jews.

September 15th, 2022
A couple of comments from Gothamist

 Liberal NYC is supposed to be a melting pot, it’s supposed to have a generous safety net and it’s supposed to be tolerant. But underpinning that are unspoken premises that, although there’s criminals in every social group, no social group makes flouting laws a virtue and that, although there are disadvantaged members of every group, no social group will actively work to make poverty inevitable. How are the rest of us supposed to feel when a group breaks those social contracts? 

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I did my graduate work in Utah and the same thing happened with the FLDS there. Warren Jeffs’ whole goal was to keep families in thrall to him, thus children were illiterate, girls married extremely young, and boys who showed the slightest hint of “mouthiness” were cast out to try and make it in a world they didn’t understand–not realizing that the entire point of the system was to raise them up in a world they couldn’t understand so they either had to comply, or end up homeless, suicidal, and completely unskilled.

September 15th, 2022
They might not be educating their students, but at least they’re stealing our money.

In 2018, former officials of the [Central United Talmudical Academy, famous for its one hundred percent failure rate on a very simple standardized exam,] pleaded guilty to defrauding the federal government’s Child  & Adults Care Program of over $3m in reimbursements for school meals that the school had never served... This is classic American graft… [T]ax evasion and welfare fraud are an open secret... When Jews break [the law] so blatantly, it reflects badly on all of us.

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The classic example is Lakewood, NJ; but it’s pretty much everywhere, cuz when you deny the legitimacy – nay, the very existence! – of any entity outside yourself, whatever IS out there exists only to be exploited. Laws? The ‘laws’ are their bogus godless laws. We’re the only godly location in the universe; we answer only to God, who speaks to us and us alone through our rabbis; and if our ‘crimes’ are hurting the heathens, so much the better.

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What almost none of the critics of the [NYT] article I have read mention is that this story is really about corruption: the corruption of city and state political figures and yeshiva deans who have duplicitously taken money from state coffers without abiding by state regulations. And the politicians who have looked the other way and ignored non-compliance, assumingly to cultivate Haredi favor in the voting booth. As much as this a Hasidic story, this is also a New York story of political corruption.

… R. Aaron Teitelbaum, one of the two Satmar rebbes today, is quoted in the article as saying “The truth is, we either had very little secular studies or none at all. We will not comply, and we will not follow the state education commissioner under any circumstances.” And yet his schools readily accept state funding. It is this corruption that merits a featured essay in the Times.

September 15th, 2022
A couple of comments in Haaretz.

It is also not necessarily to Israel’s advantage that an American Jewish community that is able to exercise considerable political influence is in the process of disappearing and being replaced by an isolated, impoverished population that will not be in a position to influence anything outside of the states and localities in which they are concentrated.

Well, yes. Israel has its own socially/economically destructive ultraorthodox community with which to reckon; it now correctly and anxiously views an earlier stage of this community taking shape in the US.

Our immigrant grandparents coped with poverty by working, not by stretching out a begging basket. Time to harden our hearts.

I’ve always been amazed by the way the truly hardened hearts – those of the hostile and exploitative haredim – are reliably sentimentalized as warm and shtetl-hamish by the non-ultraorthodox. This commenter is right – we’re the nostalgic pushovers, the easy marks (given what the ultraorthodox have accomplished in schools that we subsidize, ‘easy marks’ is putting it politely) who regard the perverse, self-punishing practices of this totally rejectionist community as somehow true Judaism. ‘What Haredi communities are really after is autonomy from the state, not advancing a principled religious liberty.’

September 14th, 2022
The March of the Debraining Machines…

… proceeds, and will proceed, no matter how many front page New York Times articles try to shut them down. Yeshivas dedicated to debraining generations of ultraorthodox Jewish children- entire high schools score ZERO on basic literacy exams – are straight out of Alfred Jarry’s absurdist Ubu the King, the 1896 play where debraining machines first appeared.

Ubu shows the boys his debrainer and points out its features.

UD Says: Enjoy the ruckus about Jews who debrain their children. It’s going to get very noisy as it begins to dawn on taxpayers what they’ve been paying for at the ultraorthodox yeshivas. Some good writing will come out of it. Some high-level thinking about the limits of toleration in a liberal state will appear. You’ll learn something. Nothing will change.

Heartbreaking.

September 13th, 2022
‘[O]ne Yiddish-language letter … was sent home to families through yeshivas and promised that children who brought in at least two signed petitions against the [educational equivalency] regulations would be entered into a lottery “to win a beautiful prize.”’

Well, they’re on the warpath. No Pasarán!! they cry; the enemy shall not pass through our sacred gates! So-called Jews who make a PEEP about our way of life (we’re looking at you, Jonathan Tobin) are traitors and will be dealt with as such (remember Jacob Kornbluh!)

A haredi prof at a Brooklyn law school really gets it said:

When asked whether he was concerned about the lack of secular education in many Hasidic schools, [Aaron] Twerski replied, “We make the trade-offs, not the state.”

Haredim to New York:

DROP DEAD

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Nu, so what next?

Nothing. Some violent all-male demonstrations in NYC and upstate. They’ll never be pushed to the wall, so if they were smart they’d shut their traps and do nothing. But who ever said they were smart? They’ve been yeshiva-retarded. They will scream and smash and let out their sexual frustration all over town, and then, on the absurdly slim chance they are, in ten years or so, called to account, they will settle down to cheating on the standardized exam.

You thought Varsity Blues was something. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

September 13th, 2022
Vey: So the bigshot NY regents even as we speak are voting – probably unanimously – to do something about ultraorthodox yeshivas that achieve schoolwide ZERO percent scores on basic literacy tests. It’s like … New Yorkers think there’s something wrong with subsidizing schools whose job is to RETARD their students.

OTOH we know nothing will happen as a result of the regents finally saying officially that zillions of schools in NYC and upstate NY – with zillions of students, their numbers growing insanely quickly, and most of them run by schoolboards rife with retarders – must be subject to serious investigation/review, and schools who keep retarding will be shut down/lose accreditation/lose subsidies… We shall do such things!

Look at Israel, babe. Look at England. England’s been failing forever to do something about schools that treat female students like slaves and teach islamofascism. Israel’s situation is hilarious. A corrupt ex-prime minister, desperate to stay out of jail, has just offered the following deal to the retarders in his country: Be part of my coalition and I promise never to interfere in any way with your child-retardation process. Full, fulsome government funding will be maintained for all of your efforts. Puts Andrew Yang to shame.

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Because everyone knows nothing will happen, and because almost no one – from their parents to NY State officials – cares about what goes on in Jewish retardation locations, talk is cheap. Suddenly you’ve got the ex-editor of Commentary, of all people, sweating rhetorical bullets over the dire social implications if America’s big, visible, Jewish community — which is soon to be demographically dominated by the retarders — starts looking like a bunch of skid row bums. Not a good look. Nothing to do to avert it, but lemme get myself on the record saying it’s not a good look.

Jonathan Tobin begins with paragraph after paragraph of boilerplate:

Evil secular rags like the NYT hate Jews and we are right to regard anything they write with extreme skepticism.

NY public schools are shitty too.

‘[P]oliticians and news outlets unfairly scapegoated the ultra-Orthodox for spreading COVID-19.’ Hey Tobin short memory: Google Orthodox Spreader Events, lad. (‘[M]ost [haredim] continue to live in constant poverty and go to the doctor without being able to understand their own diagnosis. The price they pay, as we have seen during COVID-19, as well as the recent polio upsurge and anti-vax sentiments … is high and will remain so unless major changes come.’)

After many we’re the victims! paragraphs, Tobin finally, gingerly, timorously, delicately, reticently, dips a toe in.

You don’t have to share the contempt for religious Jews that may be widespread in the Times newsroom to be alarmed by the fact that test scores in these subjects at ultra-Orthodox schools for boys (girls, who are expected to get jobs rather than merely study sacred texts, get slightly more instruction and do marginally better) appear to be the lowest in the state.

I like that “may.” It may be widespread. Ya think? I don’t think. I think a long-term reading of the NYT reveals just the opposite – an effort to write about religious Jews

(And hey Tobin doesn’t really mean religious Jews, does he? Reform Judaism, in which I was raised, is religious, but of course ultraorthodox Jews think Reform Judaism is an utterly profane obscene joke. In Israel, ultras spit at/shout GOYISH WHORE at eight year old Orthodox girls whose skirts are shorter than they should, ultra-istically, be. I think Tobin needs to specify what he has in mind by the phrase religious Jews. Me, I think a baseline definition of a religious Jew is a person who takes the ethical as well as spiritual tradition of Judaism seriously, which would, religiously, put the endemically corrupt ultraorthodox movement somewhere quite far below the Reform and Conservative movements.)

with the same neutrality/objectivity the paper’s journalists write about everything else. But what the hell is objectivity if you’re a yeshiva-educated ultra? The schools have surgically removed, as a cancer, anything that comes out of the empirical, enlightenment, traditions. This is what makes ultras such perfect Trumpians – it’s all conspiracies, rage, our side’s righteous lies, our side’s unique possession of the transcendent truth. (Bonus point here: One of the many reasons nothing’s going to happen to the ultra-orthodox retardation locations is that politicians are literally frightened of this group, whose … parlous… emotional/intellectual state combined with unquestioning mass obedience/action means … riots. Politicians don’t like riots, and believe me there will be riots if anything seriously disruptive is done to ultra life. Remember the mass attack on Jacob Kornbluh. That’s just the beginning. America’s ultras are way behind Israel’s, who riot pretty much continually; but mess with them and they’ll be torching cars.)

And then a little more delicacy cuz we don’t want to hurt any feelings here: APPEAR TO BE the lowest in the state. Another conspiracy? Have the Jew-haters in the NY State testing bureaucracy fucked with the results? Good to be skeptical about things like this.

Tobin sympathetically explains the ultra POV:

They believe that the issue here isn’t so much poor education as the refusal of the secular state … to accept the desire of the ultra-Orthodox community to opt out of society. 

Two points here:

  1. If you want to opt out of society, you don’t get to take society’s hard-earned tax dollars. You’ve opted out of that.
  2. You might want to opt out of society, but society can’t opt out of you. You live among us, you vote in our elections (why?), and – wait for it – we have laws. We have laws against beating kids up and defrauding the welfare system and assaulting children sexually. I know you do everything you can to hush up your bad behavior, but society features people – police, journalists, social workers – who act as society’s conscience and try to make sure that children aren’t being abused, our taxpayers aren’t being ripped off, etc. etc. The big glossy NYT article last Sunday draws many more eyes to your – anti-society? – than were ever on it before. Time to duck. “This is something dark. This is the willful perpetuation of social pathology at the hands of Jewish leaders.” “As Hilly Rubin, a resident of the heavily Chassidic neighborhood of Borough Park in Brooklyn, N.Y., told The New York Times: ‘They could have education and still have the religion. But they don’t, and the people are suffering so much.'”

Here, Tobin. Feast your eyes.

Tobin eventually says the right, obvious, sane things about ultraorthodox yeshivas, but it’s so hedged about with paranoia and knee-jerk anti-leftism (As many commenters on the NYT article note, it’s nuts to make this a left/right thing. Ultras don’t know shit about politics OUT THERE, in That Distant Evil Society. They go where the ultra-friendliest winds blow.) that it’s worthless.

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UD in front of the Israeli Embassy,

Washington DC, 2013. Photo: Jewish

Daily Forward.

September 12th, 2022
In the immediate aftermath of the NYT exposure of the vile system of ultraorthodox education in New York City, the Jewish jokes begin.

Rabbi Yaakov Shapiro of Queens led the group of rabbis protesting [in Albany] Monday. 

“There is a viable, working community,” he said. “The fact that they’re failing math is not indicative of a problem.”

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