It’ s not dad’s fault that the kid’s massacre-hopes, in the actual event, fall short of expectations. Dad’s done his bit, enabling the little one to get AK-47s and everything else he needs for really widespread butchery; but once the bullets begin to whirl, wounded people have a way of hiding/running off, or, say, sacrificing themselves to save their children, and these behaviors, plus the imminent arrival of the authorities, will drive your total down for sure.

You try to do everything for your son, give him the best training and the bloodiest guns, yet his kill is pathetic compared to older, more seasoned psychotics like the Las Vegas shooter, whose toll puts all of America’s teenage/twentyish massacrists to shame.

Dads, for starters tell your mad shooters to look for a closed open space. What do I mean by this? The Las Vegas shooter chose an outdoor concert venue, for sure, but there were walls and gates aplenty, making it seriously difficult for people to get away and for authorities to get in. The concert space was also a good distance from stores or other interiors in which one might find shelter.

Another pointer for dads: At a concert, people are all tightly packed together, which makes a far better target than a sequential parade. Also – and here’s a fun fact – Paddock waited until night, when it’s much harder for people to see around them, and to figure out what’s going on.

I don’t want the Highland Park shooter’s father to feel more disappointment in his child than he already does, but Paddock killed 60 and wounded or injured one thousand.

True, your kid did better than the massacrist not far from UD‘s town, who, had he not chickened out, might well have shot to pieces my old friend Di, who was walking to the grocery store on the street right below him as he tried to get up the nerve to kill everyone.

UD proposes that, as soon as gunny dads realize their kid is psychotic and wants to accumulate guns and bombs so he can kill everyone, they ship the kid off to an Idaho militia camp. The state of Idaho is hugely friendly to massed psychotics with guns, and these groups will straighten these kids out in no time.

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