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Limerick.

When packing your six year old’s pistol for school

Please help him to follow this one simple rule:

If shooting at teacher

He’s too short to reach her

So tell him to stand on a good sturdy stool.

******************

Little tyke didn’t manage to get a good shot off; looks as though his teacher will survive.

Success will take patience: This was apparently his first attempted murder, and I’m sure there will be others. Over time, he will learn proper stance, a steadier hand, etc.

Dad! Ball’s in your court. Beyond the obvious (much more father/son time on the shooting range), you’re going to have to pack multiple weapons in the lunchbox from now on, so that your child is able to choose the most appropriate weapon for any given situation.

No fear: The boy has his whole life ahead of him, and this is America.

********************

And a final, special message for the teacher: Apparently you caused the whole thing. Instead of letting the boy kill the classmate he was fighting with, you insisted on confiscating the weapon, which angered the boy and forced him to shoot at you. DO NOT – EVER – ATTEMPT TO GET BETWEEN A SIX YEAR OLD AND HIS RUGER. I suppose it didn’t even occur to you that this was probably a Christmas present, and one that he’s probably been begging for since he was three. Now it’s in the hands of the cops, and who knows how long it will be before his parents will be able to replace it with a junior AR-15.

Looks as though, because of you, Richneck Elementary School is going to have to wait some time before it gets its massacre. But all in good time.

Margaret Soltan, January 9, 2023 9:56AM
Posted in: guns, limericks

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Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
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