October 28th, 2023
And No Pence to Send Home to My Wife, Poor Wife.

Pence comes to the end of his song. History will show that his downfall lay in his dark unresolved love affair with Trump – a relationship observers have compared to that between Charlotte Rampling and Dirk Bogarde in the film Night Porter. Pence came to love his murderer — much too kinky for the average American voter.

October 22nd, 2023
Wow. I could see refusing to …

enter Taco Bell…

October 13th, 2023
Much at Steak in Trumpworld.

[S]upporters of [Jim] Jordan have been sharing Federal Election Commission [FEC] documents around Washington D.C. showing that [Steve] Scalise has spent more than $500,000 through his congressional campaign account [on steaks] at Capital Grille since 2011.

October 11th, 2023
Watch Sen. Tuberville Exit a Plane.

Tuberville Falls.

******************

Sing it.

Ever since ol’ Tommy took a tumble
And landed like a fool upon his ass
I’ve wondered when the rest of him would crumble
And make his farce a memory of the past…


When Bama makes no rendezvous
With folks whose brains are all doodoo
When this disgusting pol is through
Won’t our lives be fine?

August 22nd, 2023
A song to accompany…

this article.

****************************

The doctors cannot treat you if you’re dying

So all the doctors up and disappeared

Maternal deaths are secret – no fair prying – 

In Idaho!

Non-viable?  You’ll carry it to full-term

We’ll pray with you throughout it, never fear

Together we will honor all divine sperm

In Idaho!


I know it sounds a bit bizarre

It sounds a bit bizarre

But in Idaho

That’s how conditions are!

No pregnancy may end no matter danger

The zygote is a person through and through
In short, you’ll never know
A more pernicious foe

Than zealot evangelicals
Right here in Idaho

Idaho!  Idaho!
I know it gives a person pause,
But in Idaho
Those are the legal laws.

August 17th, 2023
The Devil’s Dictionary

BOOMERICO, n. A law which, when thrown, returns to the thrower.

August 12th, 2023
And congratulations on …

… a job well done!

August 9th, 2023
LOLOLOL

Patrons, who sign up as much for the prestige as the workouts, pay $900 per month to learn her Tracy Anderson Method – a dance-based workout in a room heated to 95 degrees with 75 per cent humidity.

… [O]n top of their hefty monthly membership costs there is also a fee to reserve a mat for the summer – which essentially allows people to save their favorite spots in class.

[I]n 2018 the price was already a hefty $3,000 but, as of this year, it has risen to a staggering $5,500.

… [Employees’] bodies were pushed to ‘breaking’ point with the level of intensity demanded from [them], with the heat of the studios also leaving them ‘exhausted and dehydrated.’ 

******************

UD notes that one popular way to differentiate/massively overprice yourself in postmodern American markets is via deadly perversion. You take a straightforward location/experience (workout studio, restaurant, coffee shop, tourism outing) and you utterly psychotically fuck it up so it might poison your clients or give them heat stroke or bankrupt them or generate homicidally competitive self-display. (See David Brooks on “dial-an-ordeal.”) People won’t tolerate your insane jacking up of the price unless you make them feel they’re in a sudden unforeseen windstorm on Everest that’s going to kill them.

August 8th, 2023
The nestling stays in the picture!

An adorably capricious Florida school board has changed its mind: And Tango Makes Three can stay in the library … for now! As soon as another patron catches wind of the book’s panting homoeroticism, it’ll be whisked away again. So get it while you can.

August 3rd, 2023
‘[E]ven the people who live on the streets are reluctant to come to the area.’

Wow, Tenderloin has really pushed the envelope. It has figured out a way to keep out the homeless!

August 2nd, 2023
Florida: Where flesh goes to…

rot.

July 21st, 2023
‘UNITED AIRLINES 777-300ER TO TAIPEI DIVERTS AFTER ECONOMY CLASS PASSENGER WON’T STAY OUT OF BUSINESS CLASS’

Something of an overreaction?

July 21st, 2023
Fox News

Saul Fox, mad Trumpian, has now tried to explain (see this post for background) the movements of two ancient, priceless, Israel-owned ceramic oil lamps. So let’s see.

Fox used his pull as a major donor to the Israeli antiquities authority to get the Israelis to send said lamps to the States, for use in a Trump-era White House Hanukah party.

So far nothing seems amiss.

But then we’re told the State Department vetoed the use of the lamps in the party. Does that make sense to you? I mean does it make sense that the big ol’ American State Department busied itself with the question of whether these lamps would be an appropriate addition to a holiday party? Or that “paperwork” on the lamps took so long for State to process that they overshot the party’s date?

So that’s the first part of this fakakte story what listen I swear to God keeps getting more by the day fakakte.

When the lamps were [eventually] released from State Department custody, Fox [says he] sent a courier to retrieve them and bring them back to his California home, where he locked them up and “sort of forgot about it” right as the pandemic hit and travel slowed to a stop …

First of all, Israel made clear to Fox it wanted them back right away, which okay. Of course Israel wants its priceless antiquities back that they didn’t even get used in the party for God’s sake. But Saul here decides to take them home and then – since they were nothing important, just priceless antiquities that belonged to another country – forgot about them. Plus we all know air traffic entirely ended for the duration of covid.

Are you on board with Saul’s rendering of events?

**********************

So couple years later he’s invited to a Mar-A-Lago party, Trump having been thrown out of the White House. Saul brings the lamps that what he forgot all about with him, to show his beloved in a little ceremony in his office at the resort. Look at these precious lamps, Don!

In place of the awe Saul must have expected from our most cultured president, there was RAGE!

Trump … responded with a passionate outcry, according to Fox, who said the former president slammed his hand on his desk.

“Well, how come I only got 25% of the Jewish vote?” Fox recalled Trump saying. 

*********************

Trump holds onto boxes and boxes of state secrets; his loyal retainer holds onto precious Israeli artifacts. Is anal retentiveness a heretofore overlooked constituent of Trumpianism? Can this behavior help us understand the phenomenon?

July 20th, 2023
Chances you’ve missed it are slim.

It pretty instantly went to 35 million views. But just in case.

July 18th, 2023
‘Saul Fox, a major American Jewish donor to the [Israeli] antiquities authority, who attended [a White House] 2019 Hanukah celebration with Trump [where ancient ceramic lamps, lent by Israel, were going to be part of the celebration], was asked to take care of the [lamps] until they could be returned safely. But Israeli officials recently learned that the antiquities eventually ended up at the former president’s Florida estate…’

Saul Fox, whose name emblazons a fancy professorship at U Penn, has got some splainin to do. How did the lamps get from his custody to some crapper in Mar-A-Lago?

« Previous PageNext Page »

Latest UD posts at IHE

Archives

Categories