… seems to have scared the University of North Carolina into doing something about its rancid football program. They’ve fired the coach.

Gin-soaked University of South Carolina has a competition going between its football players and their coaches to see who can show up drunk in public more often.

So far quarterback Stephen Garcia dominates, not only numerically (five suspensions), but … how to say… The guy’s got a sense of irony:

Starting quarterback Stephen Garcia has been suspended five times in his career. Most recently Garcia was suspended on April 6 after an incident at a life skills seminar.

Sense of irony, sense of humor… It takes a sense of something to show up drunk at a life skills seminar.

Garcia’s main competition comes from his coach, G.A. Mangus, who earns upwards of $150,000 a year — though even by USC standards, he must be said to be earning it in a rather odd way…

Two officers said they were driving down Main Street in Greenville [in the wee small hours of the morning] when they saw Mangus urinating on the sidewalk curb and roadway outside the Carolina Ale House.

The officers said they got out to speak with Mangus about what he was doing. Police said there was a large wet area close to where he was standing.

“He was intoxicated, was not cooperative,” said Greenvillle police spokesman Jason Rampey. “He could not provide answers the officers were looking for to questions like, was he with someone, how he got there and how he was getting home.”

Police said Mangus was unsteady on his feet and had a strong odor of alcohol. Police said his eyes appeared to be dilated and glazed over. Police said when they questioned Mangus about his actions, his speech was slurred.

Garcia’s got Mangus on sheer numbers; but only Mangus has whipped out his dick and made his own pool. Extra points.

UD don’t even blink at this shit no more.

Not so much good ol’ universities like Tennessee with almost fully criminalized sports teams… Not that, onaccounta she done read about that for five, ten years goin’ on now… No, UD don’t even blink at the way the local rags report this shit.

I mean, look at it from the rags’ POV. Every year, all year, including the summer, they know they’re going to have to report constant devilry on the part of their local gods, like say the football players at the University of Tennessee. Scary stuff – driving around dead drunk, beating people on the streets of Knoxville, taking part in armed robberies …

So – in order to hold fast the faith of the people, there’s a formula their scribes use for every incident. UD will cite this article – one of thousands of clones – to clarify.

1.) First they remind the people that it’s been eons since they had to put the last player in jail. I mean, really, to be fair, the team’s been clean for an incredible stretch. (“[T]he football team’s arrest record remained clean for nearly five months…”)

2.) Then the assistant director of fuckups gets on the horn and tells the scribes the school is vaguely aware that something vague has happened and they’re looking into I guess or they sure will soon as they know something but it’s real early days and let’s be fair. (“We’re aware of an incident…”)

3.) Now, without giving any detail about the incident, you go on for paragraphs and paragraphs about the position the guy played, the effect on game strategy of possibly losing this guy to suspension or jail or whatever, etc. (“The position is one of the Vols’ biggest concerns…”)

4.) Next, testimonials. (“He made a mistake but he was not causing trouble.”)

5.) Wrapping up, another reminder of the amazing crime-free stretch. (“UT coach Derek Dooley’s continued efforts to clean up the program’s run of recent off-field troubles and change the culture appeared to have paid off, as the Vols were nearly through the entire summer without any incidents.” Have you ever tried to get through an entire summer without getting arrested?)

6.) And finally: The players’ court date is checked against the team’s practice schedule. (“His court date is scheduled for Aug. 4, the Vols’ third day of preseason practice.”)

“[S]haring funds between the Athletics Department and the [University of Iowa] is a good idea; it would go a long way toward alleviating the university’s budget woes and prevent the Athletics Department from being an essentially independent corporation using the UI’s name, trademarks, and academic allure.”

With state funds falling, public big-time sports universities are wondering why they get so little of the tens of millions generated by their programs. Administrators patiently explain that coaches need millions and millions of dollars in compensation every year just to get by, but students and faculty aren’t listening. Here’s the editorial board of UI’s newspaper:

The university’s Athletics Department predicts revenues in excess of $70 million for fiscal 2011. With the UI facing an $8 million decrease in state appropriations, there’s a cogent argument for at least pulling enough from the athletics budget to make up the difference.

After all:

Kinnick Stadium will [soon] be rumbling with more than 70,000 rabid football fans, many of them university students. Few will probably take the time to consider the sheer magnitude of wealth concentrated around them…

The fact that the high school football talk has gone on unfettered for the better part of six months with nary a public response/rebuke from the NCAA is unimaginable. The fact that ESPN is very publicly braying about high school prospects is unconscionable — but not nearly as unconscionable as the NCAA allowing this discussion half a year after it should’ve been shutdown to continue on.

He’s talking about the humongous new network deal between the University of Texas and ESPN. Programming will include “high school football games in the state of Texas,” which is to say that the Longhorn Network will televise “potential football recruits on a television network dedicated to a single university.” It would seem to give the University of Texas an unfair advantage.

[I]f televising potential in-state — and specifically targeted out-of-state — recruits on your own television network is not a violation, how could The Association ever again look any school in the eyes in the future and accuse them of doing something illicit in gaining an advantage in recruiting?

The writer seems shocked that the NCAA hasn’t done anything; but here’s UD‘s theory. Although it does nothing to stem big-time university sports corruption, the NCAA is the busiest organization in the world. It’s like tax season at the IRS there every single day. They have simply run out of staff.

….plays ball.

… between a local columnist’s bland recitation of the reasons why the University of Tennessee has had a fall-off in football ticket sales (the economy, bad match-ups, etc.) and some of the commenters on his story, who stress the thug problem.

I can’t name another school that has had two car loads of 8 thugs driving around town holding up convenience stores with guns and weed in the car. Can you?

Yeah, that was a bad one. But the incident was one of many incidents over the last few years involving UT players. Is it possible that there’s a tipping point, even for UT fans? Could their amazingly well-honed cognitive dissonance (There they go down the field, our fine University of Tennessee student athletes!) (The latest one is an armed robbery? Yikes.) be losing its edge?

So far it’s just an anonymous allegation. And David Salinas, the investment banker with the summer league and many investment clients among university coaches, has – just after the SEC announced he was under investigation for a Ponzi scheme – killed himself.

The reason some [coaches] might be concerned about their financial connection to Salinas is because it’s unclear how the NCAA would view college coaches investing money with the founder of a summer basketball program that supplied recruits to several universities over the years.

The suggestion is that the coaches felt compelled to give Salinas hundreds of thousands of dollars in exchange for his recruits.

If true, it’s another glorious chapter in the annals of amateur university athletics. And it explains why these guys demand such strikingly high salaries.

One writer sums up the situation:

The SEC will investigate the alleged Ponzi scheme, local law enforcement will investigate the death, and the NCAA will investigate why in God’s Sweet Earth an AAU curator was knowingly investing money on behalf of the coaches of some of the schools that his program was funneling players to.

Essentially, this means college sports fans will have to live with yet another interminable fall-out of yet another scandal.

Well, thankfully, we have plenty of experience doing that.

Just keep doing what you’ve been doing. It’s really taking you places.

Having maintained the University of Kentucky’s beautiful sports program [scroll down], and having built Coal Lodge, now-retired President Todd takes a plush, well-deserved rest back on the UK faculty.

Todd’s new office at UK’s Advanced Science and Technology Commercialization Center will cost $143,828.

The office will be built from an existing conference room, complete with two subdivided rooms that will be a waiting area and a suite for Todd and his assistant.

Some on the faculty are angry that buildings and programs are falling apart right and left on campus while the university sends a big fat thank you to Todd. But you can’t deny that he did a great job of maintaining, and indeed deepening, the culture of the University of Kentucky.

Answer: Hyuk! It don’t! It’s Tennessee!

You want a class act, you way definitely want West Virginia University. The CBS News writer quoted above doesn’t even bother going back to football coach Rich Rodriguez, who brought such esteem to WVU’s sports program shortly before Heave-Ho Holgorsen came along.

Daktronics Inc., in conjunction with the University of Kentucky, are pleased to announce the addition of an integrated, high definition football video and sound system for Commonwealth Stadium, home of the Wildcats. The debut for the multi-million dollar system is scheduled for the Wildcats’ 2011 home opener September 10 vs. Central Michigan. … The most visible components of the system will undoubtedly be the two high definition Daktronics HD-X video displays to be installed behind each end zone. Measuring approximately 37 feet high by 80 feet wide, each display will provide live and recorded video in high definition, with picture in picture capability with multiple zones to show scores, statistics, and sponsor information. …

Yes, your Adzillatron can never get enough upgrades. There’s a lot of sponsor information to pound into your head, and students love to pay for the privilege.

Yeah, well. Problem is – what comes after this? First they “vacate revenues earned from using ineligible players.” Next thing you know they’ll stop giving three million dollars a year to coaches who cheat.

… believes.

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[I Believe.]