I’m a high-ranking, highly-paid congressional staffer with a responsible, sensitive, job, and I forgot that I put four ammunition magazines and eleven rounds of ammunition in my bag.

Police are investigating a quadruple shooting at a Hollywood baby shower that left two people dead and two others hospitalized early Sunday morning.

This one’s from Oklahoma. A driver got pissed when a woman in front of him was kind enough to let another vehicle go in front of her, so the driver drove up next to the woman and aimed his gun at her.

As you see, he explained to the police that he only wanted to intimidate her — maybe she’ll think twice in the future about letting other drivers into her lane — not shoot her to death.

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Oh. This one’s also OK. How do you go on a retreat in Oklahoma?

[S]everal people saw [a local football coach] point a gun at [another coach], who was in a hot tub at the time. The affidavit says [Forrest] Mazey fired a shot outside of the cabin the coaches were staying at in McCurtain County.

… The affidavit says several witnesses heard Mazey making jokes while pointing the gun at the victim.

“Kind of made fun of the situation, laughed about it, made fun of him for being scared,” said [one source].

You pussy!

See this post for background.

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The University of Wyoming Board of Trustees voted 6-5 Friday against allowing concealed carry in certain areas of campus, setting up a likely future confrontation with a Legislature that’s increasingly pushed to ease gun restrictions.

The vote followed strong opposition from students, staff, faculty and other community members who cited concerns over safety, gun violence, declining enrollment, mental health issues and campus culture. 

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Well lookee there. Vote was as close as close can be, but EVEN IN WYOMING the obscenity of concealed carry is occasionally recognized.

Now you know next thang UW trustees is gonna do is GET RID OF THEM GIRLS on the BOT cuz if you look at the vote breakdown, it was them squishy ladies done did the dirty. Only one guy voted with the gals; pro-concealed was hunderd percent male. GIRLS OFF THE BOT!!

Article.

“We have some radical people in our neighborhood that just don’t know how to act with guns. These neighbors continue to shoot anytime. My grandchildren cannot stay in the yard and play. Have to come in the house because these shots being fired and not knowing where these bullets go.”

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It’s gotten so bad that neighbors – who can’t go outside – have complained to the Board of Commissioners, who of course don’t give a shit but have managed to eke out a lil statement about how gun safety is definitely a good thing.

Interesting that one of the complainants uses the word “radical.” How radical, though, is it in a country of four hundred million privately owned guns and virtually no gun control in much of our territory – hell, gun encouragement in a lot of places – for some people to take out their guns every day and shoot them off in random directions? We can all identify with the glee they must feel at knowing they’re scaring the shit out of their neighbors; and making endless explosive noises in heavily populated areas is also a universal delight.

Guns mean to frighten people, and if you don’t like feeling fear, you should get out of NC and move to some squishy state like Massachusetts where they don’t let people shoot ARs into nearby homes and yards.

So you’re a lesbian couple and your next door neighbor hates lesbians.

Now add the arsenal in my headline and wait for the madman’s mood to darken about the two of you until he starts pointing one of those guns at you and your children.

See, when this guy gets – what – a suspended sentence for terroristic threatening, let’s say, he goes right back home to his AR even more pissed, cuz you called the cops on him and almost made him go to prison and, you know, he buys more big guns and more ammo and you just get snug and prepare for his next assault on your family.

Trying to help keep you safe, Toms River NJ and environs: Today’s coverage of Randolph Tashman, a local dude who dropped his gun IN CHURCH (which prompted a call to police), fails to mention another newsy incident featuring RT. He was fired from his city job couple years back for posting truly vile racist vileness; and he offered this caption for a pic of people waiting in line:

“A line at the gun range! Silent majority won’t always be silent be careful libs”

And the guy in favor of conceal carry on the U Wyoming campus then cited what study in response to the pushback? What study told him that more guns, in any setting, do not in fact increase suicide rates? UD would dearly love to see it.

UW alumnus Sandy Rees received a less [than] enthusiastic response when she spoke out in favor of allowing concealed carry firearms on campus.

“You need to follow the statutes and the laws, not squishy feelings and surveys,” she said.

Okay, first about that favorite word of gunnies, ‘squishy.’ UD’s been reading about this subject forever, and she’s noticed that gunnies LOVE this word, which designates people who… uh… read surveys?

Yeah cuz the problem there is that when you survey the UW community a vast majority opposes campus conceal carry. So don’t get all squishy on me and listen to what people say when you ask them!

And then of course mainly squishy designates anyone who goes all damp and feely after suicides and massacres and for fuck sake man MAN UP. Remember what State Sen. Dahm said – EVERYONE DIES THAT’S LIFE. Maybe you’re five and you die clinging in perplexity and terror to your elementary school teacher as a man’s bullets tear through your organs. Tough titties. Saddle up, cowboy, life’s a bumpy ride, and those “events” are just staged to make us go squishy.

But UD – without getting too Freudian about it – thinks gunnies reach for squishy so often because the brain thousands of Wyomingites blow out of their heads is famously squishy. Any number of brain-based kids’ toys are called squishy.

For example. You can’t blame these folks for having ‘squishy’ on their minds. In their world, brains are always going squish squish squish.

[M]y fraternity brothers and I walked over to our plot in Greek Bowl to … sing [a] hymn. When we got there, the music was so loud and the marijuana smell was so thick that you could have confused it for Woodstock. We couldn’t even see our plot.

We turned around and walked back to our RV.

About 15 minutes later, the first round of shootings occurred. 

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Finally someone’s writing a general piece about the recurrent phenomenon of shootings – sometimes mass shootings – at HBCU homecomings. The writer doesn’t go beyond vivid descriptions and handwringing, but it’s a start.

This year, [North Carolina A&T University] officials reported 131,000 people attended events throughout their homecoming weekend, pumping millions of dollars into the Greensboro economy.

Getta loada that. A school with 14,000 students, and this is their homecoming, with tens of thousands of strangers there getting high and getting excited and getting trigger-happy. Some schools are responding with closed campuses and mandatory i.d. cards, etc. Some are happily continuing to walk into bloodbaths year after year. But all must know that when you concentrate enough people and enough partying in one space, there’s a good chance some stupid fucker’s gonna haul out the AR15 just for the hell of it.

Datz gunny America, folks, and denial only kills more people.

Yes, a tad more good news, especially with The Onion having bought Jones’s trash publication, Infowars, with plans to turn it into a parody of itself.

Yet the larger story, for anyone with the stomach to track incoming federal appointments, is obscenely bad.

… American-style.

So after the latest bloodletting at the school’s 100th homecoming a few days ago, officials have closed the campus, and everyone’s gotta wear an i.d. at all times. The tyke who likes to shoot his machine guns into crowds at events like homecomings has been arrested, while sixteen people try not to die of the wounds he inflicted. One person has already died.

Ooh, wonder what his motive was! I’m thinking someone inadvertently shoved him. It was crowded and all.

This blog, recognizing that fatal shootings are standard at university homecoming events, now calls homecoming guncoming, that special time of year when young Americans gather, get excited, and do what they do when lots of them are armed.

For Tuskegee’s all-important one hundredth guncoming the other day, bang went the weapons and down went the students, faculty, alumni, and other celebrants. One dead, multiple serious injuries. And of course PLENTY of raw footage from various vantage points for you to enjoy. “The amount of bullets shot last night in Tuskegee amidst their homecoming weekend celebration is terrifying,” writes one audience member. “I couldn’t even finish the video.” (Reminder from SOS: The correct word is NUMBER, not AMOUNT.)

The world’s press is covering this latest guncoming. American rituals are so interesting.

See you next year, Golden Tigers! Crouch low.

— PLUS as a special bonus you get to live down the street from Cletus Spuckler and his AR15.

Cletus don’t right know why he sits on his porch shooting off a pistol and the AR but he just do it and neighbors call the cops and Cletus shoots at the cops even though they very clearly and loudly tell him to put the guns down.

Maybe he celebrating the election. Maybe he just all drunk as a skunk.

UD thinks most likely his thinking was something like “Paid 4 thou for these fuckers and gonna use em.” An economic decision.