Trashy Panama Beach, the very reddest part of the Redneck Riviera (‘Panama City Beach makes tailgating at a NASCAR infield appear hoity-toity.‘), is among the last truly gun-friendly spring break locations. While other once-popular killing fields, tired of blasting blood off main street, have launched police-state measures that make you think twice before mustering your M16, PCB, a short drive from supergangbanger Dothan AL, screams go ahead and unload ra cheah. Trash bars, hotels, and stores; gun-love; and a police force that doesn’t give a shit — it all adds up to the best spring break of your life uh ah mean death and yall come on down.
UD predicts PCB’s about to dump its police chief, who’s fucking up the fun, calling the gangbangers “stupid,” and naming/shaming town ultratrash spots (Hammerhead Fred’s) designed to make fifteen year olds with .950 JDJ Fat Macs feel at home. He’s, like, against all this, which will make the local merchants extremely angry, and they will demand his ouster.