September 9th, 2024
There goes his reelection bid.

’14-year-olds don’t need AR-15s.’

September 8th, 2024
WHEEHOOOO Saturday Night in Kentucky!

 ‘Kentucky has some of the weakest gun laws in the country, […] while having one of the nation’s highest gun violence rates.

But that’s just words, babe. That’s just words! Here’s what it’s like on the ground. On the road.

Looks like a whole bunch of people were shot down Saturday night on Interstate 75 by a dude arrested not long ago for Terroristic Threatening but you know still out there fully armed. It’s Kentucky!

He’s still at large, still fully armed, so, you know, WATCH YOURSELF.

“When our first two units got to the scene there, they said it was a madhouse: people on the sides of the road, emergency flashers going, bullet holes, windows shot out, nine vehicles shot. Can you imagine that? Just chaotic.”  This sheriff dept spokesman is so silly! Don’t sound like much more than your typical UK tailgate… And it’s so stupid because as Wayne LaPierre says  The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun so where was he? Kentucky needs more people to carry more guns so next time there’s a mass shooting on an interstate people can grab a Glock in their glove compartment and shoot right back and neutralize the bad guy. Piece of cake. Clean as a whistle.

Meanwhile yeah thoughts and prayers for the mass casualties for real!

Update: They found the AR-15 but not the shooter. Maybe he killed himself with one of his other 25 or so guns.

Nother: Says he’ll kill himself after he feels he has finished his work.

Yet Another: Found dead.

September 8th, 2024
Pitch for Episode One, Rejected TV Pilot.

Opening scene begins with an evangelical preacher, who looks like David Bowie at the nadir of his drug addiction, boarding his private jet; his luggage consists of multiple machine guns and large quantities of fentanyl, of which he is a user. He has flown from North Carolina to Las Vegas to find his daughter, who lives in one of the city’s flood control tunnels.

Police arrive at his hotel room; they assume the guns are part of a mass shooting/terror plot and arrest him.

The preacher himself has called the police to his room to report something of his stolen. It has not occurred to him that his appearance/situation may arouse the suspicion of the police, who begin to ask about weapons. “I have a gun in my guitar case,” he tells them. The police discover the other weapons, which include an AR-15 with a scope. He also tells them about his fentanyl.

The preacher fails to appear for his probable cause hearing.

September 7th, 2024
It’s schooling again in America.

‘Richard Aspinwall, a math teacher, heard commotion outside his classroom and entered the hallway to see what was going on. When he did, he was shot in the chest by the 14-year-old suspect, according to family friend Julie Woodson, who cited accounts by Aspinwall’s students.

“We had to watch our teacher come back in the classroom holding himself like he’s been shot, and fell to the floor,” 17-year-old Malasia Mitchell said. “And as he kept going, my teacher was shot again.”

Students in the class say they pulled Aspinwall back into the classroom and used the shirts off their backs to try and stop their teacher’s bleeding, according to Woodson.

Meanwhile, the students closed the door and protected themselves with desks and chairs, Mitchell said.

Woodson said Aspinwall “died as a hero trying to save his students’ lives.”’

September 6th, 2024
Baby with a Bushmaster

Learning how to kill students and teachers.

More babies w/ Bushmasters:

Christmas card from a guy who might spend next Christmas in jail.

September 6th, 2024
Um. And you DIDN’T call child protective services?

Lauren Vickers, a neighbor, told the New York Post that the family had been trouble ever since moving into the neighborhood in 2022 and the kids were clearly not being taken care of.

‘There were nights where the mom would lock him and his sister out the house. And they would be banging on the back door, just screaming like ‘Mom! mom! mom!’ and crying. It was absolutely devastating,’ she said. 

She added that Marcee was often clearly intoxicated, even when driving her children [ … ] to school. 

‘I would find her in the driveway, passed out, with the car running and blaring music early in the morning,’ Vickers added.

September 4th, 2024
Read all the NYT updates, if you can stomach it.

They keep updating as reams of evidence that this madman should never have been in a public school come in. At 13, he’d already threatened to shoot up a school; at 14, he did it. His father kept multiple huge guns in the home, and UD is pretty confident that one of his ARs – easily accessible to his mentally ill son? – did the deed.

So… we’ve already corralled three probable enablers – negligent parent, indifferent school administrators, and inept law enforcement. Mes petites – you’d think in a country with 450 million or so guns, and routine mass killings, some effort would be made to identify likely mass killers. But guns are considered beautiful here; a 14 year old handling an AR is a beautiful thing. His classmates report he never spoke – completely alienated, it seems. Completely out of it. Rarely attended. Pity the teachers compelled by idiot administrators to harbor a student who probably frightened them.

The local county is Trumpian. God forbid you’d vote for anyone who talks about any form of gun legislation. The county got what it wished for: virtually no control of weapons. Check it out. Scroll and keep scrolling until you get to Georgia.

Every country has mentally ill people. Only America arms them, Adam Gopnik writes.

UPDATE: Oh – and get ready for the lawsuits. Abigail Zwerner’s forty million dollar suit against the Newport News Public Schools is humming along.

ANOTHER UPDATE: As with so many other school shooters, blatant mental health problems, fucked up parent, fucked up school administrators, fucked up law enforcement, guns all over the place. Dad let this child – at age 13, and probably before – handle all the weapons.

A perfect storm here, and a perfect idiot could have seen this before it broke. It’s very easy to see the father in court, and it’s even easier to see the school district sued for tens of millions of dollars. The monster the father made (it’s not clear the mother is at all involved – the parents are divorced, and it looks as though the shooter lived with his gun-totin’ pa) will never get out of prison. Might even get the death penalty.

AGAIN AN UPDATE: Mother a career criminal. Howdy.

La Dee Dah.

Wotta shocker. Daddy’s been arrested. Let’s see…

[F]our counts of involuntary manslaughter, two of second degree murder and eight counts of cruelty to children.

The Crumbleys also got involuntary manslaughter. They’re both serving ten year sentences.

September 3rd, 2024
Multitasking, American-Style

Boy, 8, Dies after Shooting Himself with Gun

Left in Mum’s Car while she Shopped

***********************************

And even better!

The state of Utah, where the shooting took place, does not have any laws to prosecute those failing to secure an unattended firearm... The state also has no laws requiring unattended firearms to be stored in certain ways.‘ I mean, you know, just go to it!

August 31st, 2024
On the Frequency of Hatcheting in Downtown Minneapolis.

“There’s like a whole section of downtown Minneapolis that they call Little Mogadishu … People are frequently hatcheted to death in the street.” J.D. Vance

**************************

The frequency of hatcheting in downtown Minneapolis

Baffles sociologists and other urban analysts

The normative behavior is mass murder with a gun

What motivates these deviants who don’t know how it’s done?

August 31st, 2024
‘So what happens when not one but a dozen [police] officers are all banging away at the [gun] range? I’m a die-hard gun guy, but after two tours in Afghanistan I can tell you that sudden bursts of gunfire throughout the day gets obnoxious fast. Then it gets unsettling. An outdoor range in the midst of a neighborhood will expose children and adults alike to emotional and psychological harm of the worst kind.’

Talk about a candidate for re-education camp. Go here, lad:


‘[T]he occasional crackle of the firing range is almost soothing.’

August 30th, 2024
“When you go to the restroom, you have to go through a certain procedure to be able to do that when you have all your equipment on. And at times, you know, you’re human — you have something on your mind…. But being arrested for being human is not ideal.”

An elderly constable in a commode

Unholstered his big loaded Glock

That was the only way that he knowed

To free up his piss-swollen cock

But – you know – he’s human

Had something on his mind

Tried to recall lines from Schumann…

And then he was needing to dry his behind

Cuz he had to do

Numbers One and Two

“Ah! That’s better! And now lemme

Forget for the rest of the day that I left my semi

Out here for all the little tykes

Who come to court on school field trips

And find a toy to let them strike

Classmates who give them lip.”

August 17th, 2024
OUR TEAM WON!!!!

Overcome by emotion, a mother at the Laney/Westside High School football game grabs her child and rolls around the bleachers with glee!

Details here!

********************

Fans CAN’T WAIT to run home and tell their friends all about it!

Oh whoooops. Same school, coupla years ago!

August 6th, 2024
You can read this long mad bloody narrative and never encounter…

one reference to anyone doing anything to take the massacrist’s guns away.

Everyone did one hell of a lot of praying, though.

August 6th, 2024
The Family that Shoots Together Loots Together

Last December we ran this adorable Ogles family photo. Now the FBI’s raiding Andy Ogles’ house in search of evidence of campaign finance fraud.

Watch for Andy to blow his head off when things with the feds get too hot. Also shooting the wife and kids seems a popular option these days.

July 29th, 2024
And he’s just getting started!

Only 14, with so many years ahead of him.

Pinellas deputies have arrested a 14-year-old boy on a first-degree murder charge after they say he shot and killed a woman with his father’s gun last week… [T]he 14-year-old confessed to shooting Fernandez at random and said he got the gun from his father’s bedroom…

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