August 27th, 2018
Shades of Adam Lanza.

I suppose we should be grateful America’s latest obviously demented gun-bearer only killed two.

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[E]very country contains mentally ill and potentially violent people. Only America arms them.

August 26th, 2018
Jacksonville, Florida, and Football: There’s Something Special in the Air

Whether it’s the real game, at a high school, or the virtual game, at an entertainment complex, football and Florida go together like Smith and Wesson.

Put America’s most violent game together with virtually universal gun ownership, throw in an open public venue, and POOOOOF! Mass shooting.

The shots and shrieks are recorded by all the dying people, so the soundtrack of America writes itself: Concussive hits from the game; RATATATATATATATATA; fuck they’re shooting run; bodies running; grunts; bodies falling.

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And Parkland’s only four hours away! The Sunshine State’s full of opportunities – at many of the same locations! – to get killed in a large-scale event.

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Their flagship university.

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[E]very country contains mentally ill and potentially violent people. Only America arms them.

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SEVENTEEN TRILLION

How many mass shootings in your state will it take for you to do something?” David Hogg tweeted to U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.).

August 25th, 2018
‘MAKE FOOTBALL VIOLENT AGAIN’

Happy to oblige, Andrew; happy to oblige.

August 18th, 2018
Ah. A quintessential, All-American scene.

Our definitive, democratic game – with a play that lets everyone take part in running down the field.

Enjoy the instant replays.

August 7th, 2018
Crime Stats

In Chicago, One Weekend, 66 Shooting Victims, and Zero Arrests

For Every Manafort You See, There are so Many You Don’t

No arrests in Chicago; and “[f]ederal prosecutions of white-collar crime … are on track this year to reach their lowest level on record.”

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I guess that leaves pink collar crime and terrorism?

August 5th, 2018
Saturday Night and Sunday Morning

63 people have been shot, nine fatally, since 5 p.m. Friday. 34 of the shootings and five deaths occurred between 10 a.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. Sunday…

One paramedic described Saturday evening into Sunday morning as “a war zone.”

August 3rd, 2018
Power Flows from the Barrel of a …

Guv.

Meanwhile – thousands of people are sending thoughts and prayers.

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UD thanks dmf.

August 3rd, 2018
‘During the exuberance of the 1990s, it seemed possible that drugs would one day wipe out depression, making suicide a rare occurrence. But that turned out to be an illusion. In fact, the American suicide rate has continued to climb since the beginning of the 21st century. We don’t know why this is happening, though we do have a few clues. Easy access to guns is probably contributing to the epidemic: Studies show that when people are able to reach for a firearm, a momentary urge to self-destruct is more likely to turn fatal.’

Postmodern techno-efficiency dispenses with irrational exuberance about suicide rates in America. If you want to keep rates high, make the act very simple and one hundred percent fatal.

August 2nd, 2018
Brother Dan Mullen Explains it All for You.

The coach explains his no weapons policy for University of Florida football players.

“It’s a no-weapons policy in certain situations of how to be educated to not have (issues)…No weapons, that’s easy to remember. If I write out all the different (scenarios)—no weapons in these situations or have a weapon for a hunting situation, if I’m doing this, I store it at this location, I keep it here, I have gun safety rules and knowledge—that’s not a quick catch to them to register in their mind. Does that make sense?”

Which neatly explains why one of his players, found to have a loaded AR-15 in his car, will suffer no punishment.

As a Deadspin columnist rather querulously notes, ‘If a “no-weapon” policy isn’t designed to keep players from carrying assault weapons for the purposes of shooting people during altercations, there really is no point at all in having any weapons policy.’

Maybe it applies to nuclear weapons.

August 2nd, 2018
Hope you’re following my recent University of Florida Football Posts. Cuz you can’t make this shit up.

[A UF football player] told police he needed [a loaded AR-15 assault rifle in his car] for protection from locals in Gainesville because “they be coming after us.” The stop came after tension (and at least one fight) between some Gators and Gainesville residents, including Devante “Tay Bang” Zachery.

Best part of all: Police can’t arrest him. Cuz it’s perfectly fine to drive around the state of Florida with a loaded AR-15 in your car.

The University of Florida is well on its way to being America’s first university to host a protracted armed conflict on campus. Talk about town/gown.

July 20th, 2018
Houston, a very dangerous city…

… now has a very high-profile homicide.

July 18th, 2018
‘The woman said she had put the gun on the baby changing table and went to use the restroom… When she got out, her child started running around and she forgot to retrieve the gun…’

Gun-mad Utah – there are municipalities there where you MUST keep guns – has done it again. Let’s see.

For those outside Utah’s batty-for-bullets culture, it’s not at all easy to get inside this special, universal-carry, littered-with-child-suicides, locale, but perhaps this will help: UD will take a few paragraphs from a local account of the baby changing table incident, and will autocorrect – Utahcorrect – the piece.

RUGER — The Salt and Ashes County District Attorney’s Office will review the case of a person who left a gun in a bathroom at the Dying Planet Automaticum.

A customer at the Automaticum left a revolver in the bathroom on Tuesday…

[The woman who brought the loaded gun into the no-weapons building] was very apologetic and embarrassed about leaving the gun in the bathroom… The woman said she had put the gun on the baby changing table and went to use the restroom… When she got out, her child started running around and she forgot to retrieve the gun…

Could happen to anyone! In Utah. Momma don’t go nowhere cepn she got her revolver nice and snug in her panties cuz you never know and folks is always trying to kill you specially in aquariums. But how do you drop em and do your business without your gun ploppin into the basin? Plus you got this kid runnin round!

Ah. Right across there in the stall – a nice soft white gun rest. Cradle it there real sweet while you pee and then… Lester? Lester what the hell are you doing? I can’t keep up with you …

And you know? I kinda remembered I dint have no gun as I was leaving the Automaticum but I was so busy with Lester and after all a nice bright loaded revolver is a kinda pay it forward thing… Like that new documentary is right you’re never too young to love a gun and it made me kinda happy thinking about the six-month old with a dirty nappy discovering the revolver and entering right then and there into the beautiful Utah way of life.

July 18th, 2018
“It’s the most expedient and peaceful way of resolving the issue without getting into too much about why he was carrying (a gun) on campus,” [trustee Gary] Mendez said.”

Yes. Wouldn’t want to get into why the dean of Research and Planning at Rio Hondo College not only felt compelled to take a loaded gun to a campus bathroom with him, but why he left the gun in the bathroom, lying atop a magazine (“Meetings Today”) one assumes he was reading in there. We’ve made him resign; could we leave it at that?

But youth wants to know: Was he sticking it up the wazoo while exciting himself with “Meetings Today”? Did he put the gun and the magazine down in a post-orgasmic fog and forget them both?

July 18th, 2018
“It’s been discouraging to see Biola be so unloving towards him and so judgemental of him without knowing his heart at all, without trying to know him at all more as a person and just trying to fit him into a mold or a statistic.”

Amen. Take a step back and ask yourself why you’re being so judgmental toward a Biola University student storing in his dorm room an unregistered AR-15 assault rifle and an unregistered 9mm handgun.

Assuming no concealed weapons on his body, go on up and give him a big hug.

July 9th, 2018
‘The World Needs More Cowboys… Cuz Wyoming Needs More Suicides’

The University of Wyoming’s latest marketing slogan (which UD has cited and … extended a bit … in her headline) is generating controversy.

NOT because cowboys (plus all them guns, natch) have given Wyoming jest ’bout the country’s highest suicide rate, but because the slogan’s offensive.

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