Judging from my dog’s excitement, plus the general population of rabbits, I think we’ve got a nest of rabbits under the deck out back.

I’m okay with rabbits, as I’m okay with deer. Sure, these guys eat plenty of garden. The deer behead the lilies, the rabbits shred the hosta. But UD, despite her ‘thesdan locale, isn’t your basic suburban neatnik with groomed grass and worries about upkeep. Walk by her house and you’ll see a pretty well-tended garden with a natural lawn. But avoid the back. Broadly speaking, it looks okay, because it’s lush and green and forested; but UD does little with it, and the animals in the adjacent woods are having a field day.

The most amazing thing she’s seen
back there was a mink.

She has also seen coyotes.

She saw plenty of lizards in Key West (UD‘s just back from living there for three months), but of course you don’t see them in colder climates — unless they’re an escaped pet.

Betty Moran said she stepped onto the rear patio of her Libertyville [Illinois] home Friday, hoping to spend a quiet afternoon reading a summertime novel when she first saw the unwanted visitor.

Staring back at her was a two-and-a-half foot-long lizard, its long, blue forked tongue fully extended.

“I jumped up on the picnic table,” said Moran, 66, her face hinting at a fear that lingers days later. “I ran inside, slammed the door and called my neighbor.”

Although the leafy expanses lining St. Mary’s Road are not where one expects to find an exotic reptile, the Morans say their coldblooded guest has found a home beneath their front deck.

“We thought that it might be an iguana, but then I saw it eat a mouse in a single gulp,” she said. “Then on Saturday it was sunning itself on our deck, looking into the house and scratching on the window.”

Sam Sweet, professor of Zoology at the University of California Berkeley, identified the animal as an African savannah monitor lizard through photos taken by the Morans.

“It appears to be someone’s pet that escaped after being well cared for several years,” Sweet said Monday. “My guess is that the publicity will reunite it with its owner. Savannah monitors are really harmless – just pick it up.”

The Libertyville Police Department loaned the Morans a cage to trap the lizard. Hamburger and apples lay on a plate, untouched.

Jim Moran, 68, performed a ‘tap-dance’ on the deck in an attempt to flush out the lizard, but to no avail.

“When he saw me over the weekend, he didn’t seem overly concerned,” he said.

Monitor lizards are intelligent and adaptable reptiles known for their venomous bites and quick-whipping tails. They are native to Africa, Australia and Southeast Asia, where they can grow up to seven feet in length. Despite their strengths, monitors are tropical lizards and a few chilly nights can quickly push them to the brink of death.

Sweet said people should contact organizations like the Chicago HERP Society when they encounter strange reptiles not native to the area.

“What happens all too often is that people hit the panic button and call the police who decide it is a problem and shoot the animal,” he said. “People should instead contact these organizations and somebody will try to find a good home for it.”

So while the Morans are pleased to know the monitor is probably domesticated and therefore harmless, don’t expect them to welcome it with open arms.

“I’d rather face a lion than this lizard; reptiles are not my thing,” said Betty Moran. “In my dreams, I’ve been hoping that the coyotes can have a feast.”

A few days later…

Libertyville’s most-wanted lizard was finally captured Wednesday afternoon.

College of Lake County Professor of Biology Mike Corn was called to the residence of Jim and Betty Moran after the African savannah monitor lizard was discovered sunning itself on the rear patio.

After a brief search of the property, Corn reached into a bush and came out holding the two-and-a-half-foot-long lizard.

“This lizard is very tame and was undoubtedly someone’s pet,” Corn said. “It is a growing young adult with healthy fat reserves.”

Everything from hamburger and hard-boiled eggs to sardines [has] been placed in steel cages around the home for weeks, but the trap-savvy lizard had eluded capture and likely remained burrowed in soil beneath the deck.

Wednesday’s muggy weather and a strong appetite for mice and chipmunks ultimately drew the wayward reptile to the surface.

“He gulped down a mouse the first day I saw him and I’ve only seen one chipmunk around here in the past two weeks,” Betty Moran said.

The well-fed lizard seemed at ease stretched out on Corn’s left arm and allowed careful hands to stroke its scaly skin.

For now it has been transported to the College of Lake County, where it will be cared for and displayed for biology classes.

“These lizards are active hunters – this one has been surviving on mice and small chipmunks,” Corn said. “We are fortunate because tropical lizards like this would have a real tough time surviving in this area’s autumn climate.”

The Morans were glad that the lizard had found a better home, although they appreciated the rodent control the coldblooded carnivore provided their property.

“Now all the neighbors will want monitor lizards to take care of their mice problems,” Jim Moran joked. “It’s a beautiful and fascinating little animal and I was truly amazed by how tame it was.”

Betty Moran said she’ll return to what was an ordinary summer until the lizard showed up June 26.

“Now I can go outside without worrying about what I’ll see in my peripheral vision,” she said. “I just hope I don’t find any of its eggs.”

Thomas Edwards, a good writer, was the reporter on both stories.

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Update: Are you kidding?