Since virtually “all of our sports figures eventually get arrested,” Clay Travis offers “a summer course in the etiquette of arrest.” His negative example throughout is Damon Evans, the University of Georgia athletics director who did everything wrong. An excerpt:
… Since SEC athletes are always being arrested for a variety of reasons, I thought we should use Evans’ arrest as a teachable moment.
… [D]on’t keep a woman’s panties in your possession for any longer than it takes to remove them. This is really hard to explain otherwise. Who are these men who keep the panties? It’s not like the panties are some great jewel. They cost $12 at Victoria’s Secret.
Don’t hold on to them or you’ll end up sounding like an idiot explaining why you have them.
Witness, Evans’s explanation of the panties: “She took them off and I held them because I was just trying to get her home.”
This explanation alone proves Evans was drunk. That actually sounded good to him...