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“Listen kiddies. It’s a birthday present, see? Our very own big BEAUTIFUL birthday present! See?”

You know how happy birthday presents make you! Toys!! Toys!!!

Now listen carefully to Mr. Weiler, boys and girls. Your university got a birthday present. From its best friend, Mr. Knight. A wonderful shiny present.

This present looks so pretty! See the present? Pretty presents are pretty!

… “Its a really nice building,” University sports marketing senior Taber Webb said, “but I don’t understand why the best building on campus is reserved for less than one percent of the student population. My tuition is spiking every year because supposedly Oregon doesn’t have enough money, but then you see things like Jaqua and its quartz stone fireplace on the first floor, and you begin to wonder what the deal is.”

… University spokesperson Phil Weiler emphasized that the Jaqua Center was a gift from Knight and the University had no control over how the donated money was spent.

“The building was a gift,” Weiler told the Oregonian. “When someone buys you a birthday present, you don’t ask them how much they spent for it.” …

Someone bought you a present, Taber! A pretty present!

Margaret Soltan, August 14, 2010 5:40AM
Posted in: screwed, STUDENTS

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One Response to ““Listen kiddies. It’s a birthday present, see? Our very own big BEAUTIFUL birthday present! See?””

  1. theprofessor Says:

    So if Phil built a whorehouse for the football team and stocked it with young lovelies, UO would just quietly accept it.

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