Gin-soaked University of South Carolina has a competition going between its football players and their coaches to see who can show up drunk in public more often.
So far quarterback Stephen Garcia dominates, not only numerically (five suspensions), but … how to say… The guy’s got a sense of irony:
Starting quarterback Stephen Garcia has been suspended five times in his career. Most recently Garcia was suspended on April 6 after an incident at a life skills seminar.
Sense of irony, sense of humor… It takes a sense of something to show up drunk at a life skills seminar.
Garcia’s main competition comes from his coach, G.A. Mangus, who earns upwards of $150,000 a year — though even by USC standards, he must be said to be earning it in a rather odd way…
Two officers said they were driving down Main Street in Greenville [in the wee small hours of the morning] when they saw Mangus urinating on the sidewalk curb and roadway outside the Carolina Ale House.
The officers said they got out to speak with Mangus about what he was doing. Police said there was a large wet area close to where he was standing.
“He was intoxicated, was not cooperative,” said Greenvillle police spokesman Jason Rampey. “He could not provide answers the officers were looking for to questions like, was he with someone, how he got there and how he was getting home.”
Police said Mangus was unsteady on his feet and had a strong odor of alcohol. Police said his eyes appeared to be dilated and glazed over. Police said when they questioned Mangus about his actions, his speech was slurred.
Garcia’s got Mangus on sheer numbers; but only Mangus has whipped out his dick and made his own pool. Extra points.