…. as pathetic as this dog.
You need a special sort of athletics director, special boosters, and (something people sometimes overlook) a local press willing to get just as excited as Fido when it looks as though there might be some goodies in the fridge.
The University of Memphis – arguably America’s stupidest university – has all of these things in profusion.
HOLIDAY CHEER! blasts a local headline, and the reason is plain to see!
Tiger Nation is buzzing because of big changes on the horizon. Not only is the university looking for a splashy hire to pull its dismal football program from the dregs, but it also seeks a visionary athletic director …
What’s in the fridge? (Slobberslobber.) New coaches?! (To pay off the last two losers Memphis is now out millions for years to come, but let’s not mention that.) (Oh and the program’s also hemorrhaging millions because no one goes to the games.) (Oh and don’t forget the full scholarships for the guys! Graduation rate of African American basketball players in 2009: 44%.)
But here’s the best holiday news of all! Memphis has just hired a public relations firm to tell it how to run a sports program! Yummy treats!