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See, this is why U Mass Amherst should do a total online makeover.

It’s humiliating enough that Massachusetts taxpayers subsidize absurdly overcrowded lectures; they also have to pay for the consequences of U Mass’s large number of violent drunks. These guys like to get together on a regular basis and destroy the campus and attack people and shit. So taxpayers pay for cleanup…

But now look. After a round of student arrests and expulsions in the wake of the last riot (I think it’s the last; I need to put a Google News Alert on this one), one of the expelled is suing for damages. If he can help just one other guy avoid the drunken mayhem to which he was driven by that school, it’ll be worth it.

But much as we can sympathize with this particular litigator, UD‘s main point is a hard-nosed financial one. Shouldn’t the state legislature be asking how much it’ll cost when all thirteen (there are only thirteen now, but the police are looking for many more) arrested students sue for damages? Time to put the school out of its misery. The glories of online education (we’re assured by many people that it’s better than face-to-face) stand ready to solve this problem.

Margaret Soltan, February 17, 2012 12:43PM
Posted in: Online Makeover

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One Response to “See, this is why U Mass Amherst should do a total online makeover.”

  1. david foster Says:

    I think an online makeover would be feasible only if special computer workstations would be provided. These would have integral beer tanks and rubber hoses that the student could suck upon while pursuing his education.

    It should even be possible to include a feedback mechanism, such that getting right answers on a quiz releases certain precalculated quantities of beer.

    Must go now…need to go talk to some VCs about this…

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