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The Dead Zone

The professor only talked about things on the PowerPoint, and after class he posted the PowerPoints on Blackboard.

After we figured that out, no one took notes.

We didn’t have a single homework assignment due in the class. We only had six papers, and in all of those papers, we were allowed to use the PowerPoints as sources. So each day, I showed up physically, but not mentally, ultimately wasting both my own time and the professor’s. And I still received an A in the class… If you’re worried about students not showing up, it’s time to up your game.

This University of Nebraska student notes the latest trend in the morgue classroom: Mandatory attendance policies. No one wants to be in a morgue, so no one shows up. The coroner, glancing up from his slides, takes umbrage: I will not be left alone in the dark! To stand here in blackness listening to the sound of my own voice reading a textbook – it is too terrible! So he forces the students to sit – formaldehyded row after row – or they flunk the course.


Really – if you don’t make the morgue mandatory, no one will show up. A student at the University of Texas Arlington thinks his psych and algebra classes have around fifty students in them, but

it’s hard to tell when no one comes.

… Attendance isn’t mandatory, and my instructor posts all of the PowerPoint presentations to Blackboard. So rather than have a PowerPoint read to me, which I can find online, I’d much rather meet with my Freshman Leaders on Campus group or get some actual work done.

My math class runs on a similar dynamic.

Is dynamic quite the word?

Margaret Soltan, February 27, 2012 8:06AM
Posted in: powerpoint pissoff

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2 Responses to “The Dead Zone”

  1. dmf Says:

    maybe only in terms of thermo-dynamics and entropy, gets chilly in the morgue

  2. AJ Says:

    Did you see The Stratfor Glossary of Useful, Baffling and Strange Intelligence Terms (pdf) in the latest wikileaks dump?

    Their remarks and definitions on PowerPoint:

    Powerpoint Presentation An efficient means for turning complex and sophisticated analysis into half-witted bullets. If you can’t read a 50 page analysis before invading a country or buying a company, you probably shouldn’t be in the business. Single most destructive invention known to man.

    Powerpoint Ranger Member of intelligence team whose primary contribution is the making PowerPoint presentations. Usually assigned to least competent member of the team to keep him out of trouble. Winds up controlling the operation because management keeps promoting him because he makes neat animations.

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