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The Hell of Amherst

This time last year, the incredibly violent University of Massachusetts, Amherst – a university which seems to have a gang-legacy admissions category – was the scene of extensive back-to-school bloodshed.

It’s exactly the same thing this year, with party/riots so massive and attacks on police so vicious that the poor little town of Amherst, once host to gentle Emily Dickinson, now host to hordes of scary drunks, has begun considering its options.

It wants, to start with, to know just how seriously the university is disciplining its large numbers of remarkably vile students. UD isn’t sure what Amherst intends to do once it gets this information, but considering the long history of U Mass student riots (read that history here), the town has been astoundingly forbearing.

UD has proposed shutting the school down and making it an online institution. The negative here is obvious – Amherst currently enjoys a captive audience of thousands of thirsty alcoholics, and that’s got to be great for its bottom line. But gradually the whole Zoo Mass phenom is costing Amherst – and all Massachusetts taxpayers – more than it’s bringing in.

Margaret Soltan, September 12, 2012 5:46PM
Posted in: Online Makeover, STUDENTS

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4 Responses to “The Hell of Amherst”

  1. Eric the Read Says:

    Reading the third linked article, this quote really stood out:

    “A whole part of the experience at UMass is being a part of the riot,” said UMass sophomore Matt Criscuolo, 19, who traveled across campus from his dormitory in Central Residential Area to witness the occasion.


  2. dave.s. Says:

    and when it goes online, everyone will get an ‘A’…


  3. Anonymous Says:

    I loved my time at UMass. I met a lot of great people, including some very bright and politically active undergrads. I was there for that first riot in 2001 — everyone I knew was shocked that it occurred on campus. A riot! On campus! But I also remember how awful it was walking past all the frats that lined the main road between town and campus after 5pm on Thursdays or Fridays. Walking on that road late at night? Insanity.

    They should have cracked down on the party culture long ago. Wtf, UMass?

  4. Stephen Karlson Says:

    And yet the Powers That Be at ZooMass are looking forward to repositioning the football program away from the Mid-American, which they only recently repositioned it into.

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