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“Though I’d gladly carry out such noble work for free, Emory’s Board has compelled … me to accept a paycheck for my efforts.”

This blog, written in the voice of Emory University’s president, shows you what a well-written satirical blog can do. UD selects the excerpt in her headline because over the years she’s heard variants of this statement from a host of overpaid university heads. I didn’t ask for this salary; the trustees set my salary; they insist on it…

These are people who spend their days and nights telling students to be independent thinkers, to become morally autonomous… Yet when it comes to the symbolically and practically important matter of their own compensation they’re suddenly sucklings. These tend to be same people who say ol’ T. Boone and Phil Knight insist that most of their billions go toward football, dammit, and there’s nothing we can do.

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UD thanks Carl.

Margaret Soltan, August 6, 2013 1:25PM
Posted in: just plain gross, sport

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