… or people will think that your institution’s tendency toward ignoring – enabling? – academic corruption continues.

So the new faculty chair at sports-fucked University of North Carolina Chapel Hill says the following:

“First and foremost, no one, there is not a single person in this University that thinks that what has happened is defensible or acceptable,” Dr. Cairns says. “It’s happened over a long period of time and all of the investigations that have been done have demonstrated that.”

This short statement includes an obvious untruth and a muddled attempt to say something good… But because it’s muddled it ends up sounding bad.

There are plenty of people at Chapel Hill who think it’s perfectly acceptable to suspend academic integrity for the sake of keeping big-time athletes eligible. UD is absolutely certain similar – but less outrageous – class activities are going on at Chapel Hill among coaches, professors, academic advisors, and players. So why should Cairns say otherwise? It’s obviously, on the face of it, wrong to say that absolutely everyone on that campus thinks bogus classes are unacceptable. Since all readers know this, Cairns’ comment is insulting to our intelligence.

His second comment is insulting to his intelligence. “It’s happened over a long period of time and all of the investigations that have been done have demonstrated that.” Yes. Right. Your university, where, you proclaim, there is not a single person who thinks bogus classes are acceptable, kept an elaborate system of bogus classes going for years and years; the professor running the bogus show was handsomely rewarded for years and years. Yes. So, uh, hurray? So God forbid the situation was just a fleeting anomaly?

Cairns needs a little pr training.