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This one’s dedicated to all you clit-nickers out there!

COME A LITTLE BIT CLOSER

(Sing it with me!)

In a hidden room just the other side of the building
She was held down there givin’ me looks that made me feel guilty
So I started walking away
She was just eight years old that day
And I knew, yes I knew I should leave
When I heard someone say, yeah

Come a little bit closer
We’re just gonna nick
It’ll make us feel better
When we use our pricks
She’s only eight and she’s all alone
And the night is so long

So I started to cut
Ha-ha: I mean nick
When her legs tried to shut
I slashed her real quick
I heard her mother come in and say
“Thank God. She’ll get married this way.”
Then I knew, yes I knew I should run
But I heard her father say, yeah

Come a little bit closer
Make her labia bleed
A much deeper nick
Is just what we need
Use all of your steel
Make sure she can’t feel

Then the voices stopped
When I looked the room was empty
And I heard the FBI say
“Man you know you’re in trouble plenty”
So I dropped my knife from my hand
Through the window I ran
And as I rode away
I could hear the FBI say

Come a little bit closer
We’ll capture you quick
You’re going to prison
For that little nick
You’re all alone
And the trial will be long

**********************

(Written in honor of the upcoming trial.)

Margaret Soltan, June 5, 2017 7:55AM
Posted in: forms of religious experience

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UD REVIEWED

Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
New York Times

George Washington University English professor Margaret Soltan writes a blog called University Diaries, in which she decries the Twilight Zone-ish state our holy land’s institutes of higher ed find themselves in these days.
The Electron Pencil

It’s [UD's] intellectual honesty that makes her blog required reading.
Professor Mondo

There's always something delightful and thought intriguing to be found at Margaret Soltan's no-holds-barred, firebrand tinged blog about university life.
AcademicPub

You can get your RDA of academic liars, cheats, and greedy frauds at University Diaries. All disciplines, plus athletics.
truffula, commenting at Historiann

Margaret Soltan at University Diaries blogs superbly and tirelessly about [university sports] corruption.
Dagblog

University Diaries. Hosted by Margaret Soltan, professor of English at George Washington University. Boy is she pissed — mostly about athletics and funding, the usual scandals — but also about distance learning and diploma mills. She likes poems too. And she sings.
Dissent: The Blog

[UD belittles] Mrs. Palin's degree in communications from the University of Idaho...
The Wall Street Journal

Professor Margaret Soltan, blogging at University Diaries... provide[s] an important voice that challenges the status quo.
Lee Skallerup Bessette, Inside Higher Education

[University Diaries offers] the kind of attention to detail in the use of language that makes reading worthwhile.
Sean Dorrance Kelly, Harvard University

Margaret Soltan's ire is a national treasure.
Roland Greene, Stanford University

The irrepressibly to-the-point Margaret Soltan...
Carlat Psychiatry Blog

Margaret Soltan, whose blog lords it over the rest of ours like a benevolent tyrant...
Perplexed with Narrow Passages

Margaret Soltan is no fan of college sports and her diatribes on the subject can be condescending and annoying. But she makes a good point here...
Outside the Beltway

From Margaret Soltan's excellent coverage of the Bernard Madoff scandal comes this tip...
Money Law

University Diaries offers a long-running, focused, and extremely effective critique of the university as we know it.
Anthony Grafton, American Historical Association

The inimitable Margaret Soltan is, as usual, worth reading. ...
Medical Humanities Blog

I awake this morning to find that the excellent Margaret Soltan has linked here and thereby singlehandedly given [this blog] its heaviest traffic...
Ducks and Drakes

As Margaret Soltan, one of the best academic bloggers, points out, pressure is mounting ...
The Bitch Girls

Many of us bloggers worry that we don’t post enough to keep people’s interest: Margaret Soltan posts every day, and I more or less thought she was the gold standard.
Tenured Radical

University Diaries by Margaret Soltan is one of the best windows onto US university life that I know.
Mary Beard, A Don's Life

[University Diaries offers] a broad sense of what's going on in education today, framed by a passionate and knowledgeable reporter.
More magazine, Canada

If deity were an elected office, I would quit my job to get her on the ballot.
Notes of a Neophyte

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