Sing along.

If I were King of the Nation — not queen, not duke, not prince.
My regal robes of the Nation, would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.
I’d command each thing, be it fish or fowl.
With a woof and a woof and a royal growl.
As I’d click my heel, all the trees would kneel.
And the mountains bow and the bulls kowtow.
And the sparrow would take wing – If I – If I – were King!

Each network would show respect to me. Reporters genuflect to me.
Though my tongue would lash, I would show compash
For every underling!
If I – If I – were King!
Just King!
Monarch of all I survey — Mo–na-a-a–a-arch of all I survey!

Your majesty, if you were King, you wouldn’t be afraid of anything?
Not nobody! Not no how!
Not even a coronavirus?
How about a Constitutionus?
Why, I’d thrash it from top to boottomus.
Supposing you met an elephant?
I’d wrap him up in sellaphant.
What if it were a brontosaurus?
I’d show him who’s King of the forest!

How!? How!?
What makes a king out of an ass? Courage.
What waves the flag on the mast? Courage.
What makes the elephant charge his tusks
In the misty mist
Or the dusky dusk
What makes the muskrat guard his musk?
What makes the Sphinx the seventh wonder?
What makes the dawn come up like thunder?
What makes the Hottentots so hot?
What puts the ape in apricot?
What do they got that I ain’t got?


You can say that again.

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One Response to “The President Sings his King Song.”

  1. Ravi Narasimhan Says:

    He is the very model of a modern major general.

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