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This Just In: Kamala Harris has Reportedly Agreed to Undergo a Purification Ceremony…

… in order to obtain Vice President Mike Pence’s permission to stand alone with him on debate stages.

Along with baptism and prayer, the ceremony apparently will involve temporary assumption of male elements/characteristics (wig, morning suit, beard, dildo), along with Harris’s pledge that she will lower her already low voice to “at least” baritone register.

Rumors have it that in line with Trump covid policy she was also asked to undergo anal disinfection, but the Harris camp has drawn the line at this.

Other details of upcoming debates are beginning to leak out. Pence is said to have doubled down on his insistence that suspended Liberty University president Jerry Falwell Jr moderate the first event. “Everyone deserves a second chance,” the vice president has reportedly said.

Margaret Soltan, August 13, 2020 7:50AM
Posted in: forms of religious experience

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