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Dean Ewell is All in a Flutter!

Life is an emotional roller coaster for Virginia Wesleyan’s global campus dean. First he burst out of the facebook gate aflame with rage over the defeat of his fellow fervent Christian, Donald Trump. He condemned anyone who voted for the Catholic antiChrist as unChristian and ignorant and anti-American and declared he’d never have anything to do again with such sinners.

Dean Ewell ain’t real bright (his academic specialty appears to be fishing) and despite his high-profile position at a reasonably respectable (or it used to be) university, he went ahead and wrote all this down in an easily accessible place. His – er – enthusiasm for the beloved leader alarmed many people at VWU, some of whom made sure his post went viral. And now Ewell’s apologizing as only a mindless fanatic panicked about losing his job can apologize. Let’s take a peek!

I spoke out of anger which I should not have done. Second, I don’t believe what I said. I have friends and family who are Democrats and I love them dearly. I have apologized on both accounts profusely. I set a poor example in that post of what a Christian should be. I know that God has forgiven me and already died for my sins. I hope others will forgive me as well.

Well, now! That’s done, and how easily and neatly! It’s been just a few hours but I know God has already forgiven me. This is America, Land of InstaCart and InstaTransgressionRelease.


But wait! Now the beloved leader himself has singled Paul Ewell’s post out for praise! This support tweet from Trump is no doubt the highlight of Paul’s life, but he’s already on record having written (in haste again?) a total self-denunciation for exactly that which Trump is praising on high!

What to do??? You see what I mean by emotional roller coaster.

And meanwhile, as if that weren’t enough, VWU officials are reviewing the entire… situation (students, faculty, and alumni are embarrassed and pissed), so Ewell has to deal with that as well. His next public statement will definitely compare himself to the crucified Christ.

Margaret Soltan, November 16, 2020 10:09AM
Posted in: jesus thinks you're a jerk

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One Response to “Dean Ewell is All in a Flutter!”

  1. University Diaries » ‘Trump Tweets support for Virginia Wesleyan professor’s controversial post; dean resigns’ Says:

    […] only did God immediately forgive Paul Ewell for writing that tweet; no less than the President of the United States […]

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