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Sing it.

As I walk along I wonder

What went wrong with our coup?


Expect an AMAZING run on high-end Florida real estate in triple-gated island communities with their own police forces/armed guards/electronic surveillance. Most of the Trump syndicate has already fled there, and Javanka’s neighbors in particular (drug kingpins, Russian kleptocrats) couldn’t be more thrilled.

“We’re not too sure about the daddy though!” laughed ‘Little’ Pablo Escobar in response to a reporter’s question about the president possibly moving there. “He attracts a rather … grubby … element… Depresses home values. But the children are very presentable.”

“I disagree,” said Escobar’s neighbor, Tatiana Akhmedova. “I find the president’s personal violence, and the larger violence he incites, sexually exciting. I am getting excited just from saying this. You don’t understand because you are not a woman. You are not Russian. We are mad! We are revolutionaries! Our beloved Stalin made the streets run with blood just like Trump! Look at Trump’s power. Look at what he has unleashed. Many Republicans in congress want to vote to impeach him, but they are terrified because they have it on good authority that if they do their families will be shot to death! It is too exciting, darling… Give me five minutes in bed with Trump’s enormous хуй and I’ll know what to do with it!”

Margaret Soltan, January 13, 2021 2:08PM
Posted in: We'll get through this.

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