I mean this morning. The day is young.

Get used to these sorts of statements.

“Three pediatric patients were transported to Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt, all having suffered gunshot wounds. All three were pronounced dead after arrival,” officials said.

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Got two adults too. Will the number rise? Injured?

And let’s play that game where we try to figure out just what precise sort of well-known lunatic gun obsessive did it. Ready?

So, the school was pre-school to grade six. We can go the Newport News shooting way and say it was a demented 5th or 6th grader. We can go the Sandy Hook way and say it was a demented former student in his twenties. We know the shooter was male, and we know he was young, and we know he was insane, and we know people knew he was insane. I mean, we don’t actually know anything at all yet, but we can be pretty sure of these things. He probably lived with his parents, who made multiple guns freely available to him. He probably practiced shooting in the backyard and annoyed and frightened the neighbors.

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Another one. Three adults dead.

I’m going to guess the shooter entered a classroom or a pre-school room and killed the adults first to keep them from trying to save the children, and then went after the children. We can expect the numbers of fatalities/injuries to rise.

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Wow. I was wrong. Shooter was a female teenager.

School was one of many which has not yet realized it is an armed camp and must begin to look like one. And getta load of the weaponry!

The suspect entered the school through a side entrance and was armed with at least two assault-type rifles and a handgun.

Everyone needs a role model. Hers was Stephen Paddock. It takes a heap o’ AK-47s to make a real Dead Zone!

How the fuck do you carry that much weaponry on you? She must have had a couple of suitcases and a backpack.

And now America’s demented gunny girls who’ve been itching to kill five year olds but lacked the courage will take heart from this now-famous massacrist and start planning.

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The shooter was 28 years old.

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Authorities clearly know who she is, but aren’t saying until they deal with her family, plus make sure she didn’t dispatch a few people she knew before slaughtering strangers. Popular objects of pre-massacre attention include parents, roommates, ex-spouses, and psychiatrists.

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She was a former student. Adam Lanza playbook.

It’ll be real fun finding out how someone that insane got hold of all that weaponry.

We know how Lanza got his: Gifts from Mom. Who he shot four times with a.22-calibre rifle on his way to Sandy Hook. Let’s see how this killer got hers.

And I mean. If you’re looking for patterns. Kip Kinkel shot his parents to death just before he killed two and wounded 25 at his high school.