ALABAMA SUPREME COURT RULES THAT
FROZEN BURRITOS ARE CHILDREN
MONTGOMERY, AL—In a case aimed at preserving what plaintiffs described as the sanctity of reheatable Tex-Mex fare, Alabama’s Supreme Court issued a ruling Tuesday in which it asserted that frozen burritos are children. “With this decision, the court finds that frozen burritos—be they beef, bean and cheese, chicken, or any combination thereof—are legally recognized as children,” Justice Jay Mitchell wrote in the court’s majority opinion, claiming that at the moment the frozen burrito is placed in its plastic sleeve, it becomes human life made in the image of God.