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‘[How is it] a nominee for vice president has so much time on his hands[?] Can you imagine, say, Dick Cheney, scrolling through his mentions, getting irritated, and firing off a retort?’ 

Rarely, if ever, has a presidential campaign collapsed from seeming assurance into utter chaos as Trump-Vance has. The campaign seems to have stumbled into a strange unintended message: “Let’s go to war with Taylor Swift to stop Haitians from eating dogs.” The VP candidate wants to raise tariffs on toasters and worries that with Roe v. Wade overturned, George Soros may every day fill a 747 airliner with abortion-seeking pregnant Black women.

The stink of impending defeat fills the air—and so much of the defeat would be self-inflicted.

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David Frum, “This is What a Losing Campaign Looks Like,” Atlantic Magazine.

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UD rarely passes along rumors… But she’s heard that “retorts” are not the only thing Vance is “firing off” in his free time. In line with his crippling anxiety about American birth dearth, and inspired by his colleague Vladimir Putin’s order that birth dearthy Russians have procreative sex during work breaks, Vance has been secreted away in fertility clinics, masturbating to beat the band, in an effort to inject his sperm maximally into childless cat ladies.

New campaign song.

Margaret Soltan, September 22, 2024 12:30PM
Posted in: ADA DOOM

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