Much of its asset base comes from accepting gobs of cash from international drug cartels, which you and I know as money laundering, but which at TD is considered plain old customer service. For ten years the bank (which sends transfer your accounts letters to Les UDs all the time — perhaps it has fingered us as people in search of a hiding place for criminal gains) has happily reached out and washed billions of dirty drug dollars; and now that it’s been caught it has to pretend that for a decade THE GOODIES at the bank had no idea, and THE BADDIES at the bank were ingeniously unspeakably undetectedly evil and we promise we’re going to fire all of them and pay a big fine and all.
But what you have to understand is that no one of any importance at the bank had anything to do with the drug shit. The entire insanely profitable and systemic scheme was hatched by a bunch of underling nonentities so don’t even think of putting any of the bank’s executives in jail or anything.
Pay no attention to that massive Ponzi scheme we were involved in last year, by the way! Again, we paid a big fine; a few underling nonentities took the fall, etc. etc. We are a dignified illustrious upstanding financial institution.