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A Wharton grad (natch: Wharton’s famous for graduating SCADS of criminals) who has been a spectacular crook since she was knee-high to a hedge fund now asks the court’s mercy based on a lot of cancer in her elderly relatives and time’s a wastin SHE WANTS A BABY.

The Holocaust was somewhere in her have mercy keep me outta jail letter too; plus, even though she did effing EVERYTHING she could think of not to get caught, it turns out she’s full of shame despair and general poignancy when she reflecteth upon her Madoffian crimelife.

Give it a read – Ms Javice basically gets as close as you can get to saying YOU CAN’T JAIL ME I’M A WOMAN!!! — a remarkable sentiment for a person who – until JP Morgan figured out she robbed them of $175 million – was an icon of the tough as nails young financial genius. My grannies are dying! I wanna baby!

Margaret Soltan, September 15, 2025 6:05AM
Posted in: hoax

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