September 4th, 2024
Read all the NYT updates, if you can stomach it.

They keep updating as reams of evidence that this madman should never have been in a public school come in. At 13, he’d already threatened to shoot up a school; at 14, he did it. His father kept multiple huge guns in the home, and UD is pretty confident that one of his ARs – easily accessible to his mentally ill son? – did the deed.

So… we’ve already corralled three probable enablers – negligent parent, indifferent school administrators, and inept law enforcement. Mes petites – you’d think in a country with 450 million or so guns, and routine mass killings, some effort would be made to identify likely mass killers. But guns are considered beautiful here; a 14 year old handling an AR is a beautiful thing. His classmates report he never spoke – completely alienated, it seems. Completely out of it. Rarely attended. Pity the teachers compelled by idiot administrators to harbor a student who probably frightened them.

The local county is Trumpian. God forbid you’d vote for anyone who talks about any form of gun legislation. The county got what it wished for: virtually no control of weapons. Check it out. Scroll and keep scrolling until you get to Georgia.

Every country has mentally ill people. Only America arms them, Adam Gopnik writes.

UPDATE: Oh – and get ready for the lawsuits. Abigail Zwerner’s forty million dollar suit against the Newport News Public Schools is humming along.

ANOTHER UPDATE: As with so many other school shooters, blatant mental health problems, fucked up parent, fucked up school administrators, fucked up law enforcement, guns all over the place. Dad let this child – at age 13, and probably before – handle all the weapons.

A perfect storm here, and a perfect idiot could have seen this before it broke. It’s very easy to see the father in court, and it’s even easier to see the school district sued for tens of millions of dollars. The monster the father made (it’s not clear the mother is at all involved – the parents are divorced, and it looks as though the shooter lived with his gun-totin’ pa) will never get out of prison. Might even get the death penalty.

AGAIN AN UPDATE: Mother a career criminal. Howdy.

La Dee Dah.

Wotta shocker. Daddy’s been arrested. Let’s see…

[F]our counts of involuntary manslaughter, two of second degree murder and eight counts of cruelty to children.

The Crumbleys also got involuntary manslaughter. They’re both serving ten year sentences.

September 4th, 2024
I’m worried about the placement of those fingers.

They are hovering dangerously close to this woman’s naughty bits. And masturbation, like pornography, is non-procreative and non-mutual, and therefore very bad, as this woman’s writings – lustily endorsed by our perhaps next vice-president – make clear.

“Pornography is … increasingly associated with relationship troubles, including greater divorce risks — interestingly, especially if married women watch it.” 

Now I want you to banish from your thoughts entirely the already famous first scene of Nicole Kidman’s new film Babygirl because this will not do at all, as it features a married woman who not only prefers porn, but prefers BDSM porn, to the tender procreative uh… arms of her husband. Look away!

******************

Negative capability, Keats tells us, involves the ability to keep two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time. In this particular case, we must make mental room for a president who seeks out, fucks, and pays porn stars (but UD, says the anti-pornster, this is fine because he’s not a married woman), and a vice president heavily excited by people who want to outlaw porn.

September 3rd, 2024
Wotta shocker! A high Lebanese official accused of corruption!

No way.

September 3rd, 2024
Multitasking, American-Style

Boy, 8, Dies after Shooting Himself with Gun

Left in Mum’s Car while she Shopped

***********************************

And even better!

The state of Utah, where the shooting took place, does not have any laws to prosecute those failing to secure an unattended firearm... The state also has no laws requiring unattended firearms to be stored in certain ways.‘ I mean, you know, just go to it!

September 3rd, 2024
‘Over the weekend, Donald Trump did a long, bizarre Fox News interview, flatly declaring he had a “right” to interfere in the last presidential election. He also mused that “God” may have chosen Trump to fix our “sick” country,” and seethed about an “enemy within” that’s out to get him.’

Folie à moitié du pays.

September 2nd, 2024
So tons of people took this seriously, and they’ve been bombarding the local government with enraged letters.

Unlike the proposed congestion fee in Manhattan that did not go into effect, the fee here is not one-size-fits-all. Here in the Hamptons, the fees charged will vary with the value of the automobile. Cars with low value, such as old Toyota Corollas, will be charged $5 per entry. Cars of midsize value, up to $60,000, will be charged $50 per entry. Cars valued up to $100,000 will be charged $200 per entry, and cars valued over that will be charged $999 per entry. The idea is to go easy on the locals, but hit the wealthy with a fee they wouldn’t mind but would seem appropriate. By the way, for cars valued over $250,000, the fee is zero. We are happy to have the ultra-, ultra, ultra-rich here. And though they will pay no fee, voluntary contributions will be appreciated, either by check, cash, stocks, bitcoin or money order. All will be tax deductible.

August 31st, 2024
Abortionist Contortionist

Trump Contorts Himself on Abortion in Search of Political Gain

August 31st, 2024
The Return of the Repressed

If health authorities look away while subcultures largely refuse to vaccinate their children, eventually sick and dying children will not be confined to those subcultures.

Covid, measles — these have run rampant in vaccine-resistant ultraorthodox communities. In New York, one young ultraorthodox man recently contracted polio.

In Israel the attitude seems to be it is not worth it to rouse the wrath of the violence-prone ultraorthodox by insisting… Here in the States, we haven’t done much better.

Now look what we’ve got.

Gaza’s Polio Outbreak Won’t Spare Israelis

The country’s unvaccinated ultra-Orthodox population is at risk of contracting the disease

We should be terrified by the polio outbreak in Gaza, another mark of the unspeakable suffering and degradation of the innocents in that conflict.

And because Israel has allowed its primitives to reject modern science, all of its efforts to defend its population against enemies may come tumbling down via warfare directed against a group so absolutely lost that it doesn’t even believe in the germ theory of disease.

August 31st, 2024
Some people follow The Grateful Dead. UD follows…

… Harvard’s own Rector of the Upcoming Cathophate, Adrian Vermeule. Here’s his latest press appearance:

[JD Vance] spoke in 2022 at a New Right academic conference alongside Harvard professor Adrian Vermeule, who believes conservatives should legislate morality by allowing judges to rule against marriage equality and abortion laws for the “Common Good.”

Watch for Vermeule’s stock to rise as his brother in theocracy strides like a colossus across the length and breadth of this our land.

August 31st, 2024
On the Frequency of Hatcheting in Downtown Minneapolis.

“There’s like a whole section of downtown Minneapolis that they call Little Mogadishu … People are frequently hatcheted to death in the street.” J.D. Vance

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The frequency of hatcheting in downtown Minneapolis

Baffles sociologists and other urban analysts

The normative behavior is mass murder with a gun

What motivates these deviants who don’t know how it’s done?

August 31st, 2024
‘So what happens when not one but a dozen [police] officers are all banging away at the [gun] range? I’m a die-hard gun guy, but after two tours in Afghanistan I can tell you that sudden bursts of gunfire throughout the day gets obnoxious fast. Then it gets unsettling. An outdoor range in the midst of a neighborhood will expose children and adults alike to emotional and psychological harm of the worst kind.’

Talk about a candidate for re-education camp. Go here, lad:


‘[T]he occasional crackle of the firing range is almost soothing.’

August 30th, 2024
“When you go to the restroom, you have to go through a certain procedure to be able to do that when you have all your equipment on. And at times, you know, you’re human — you have something on your mind…. But being arrested for being human is not ideal.”

An elderly constable in a commode

Unholstered his big loaded Glock

That was the only way that he knowed

To free up his piss-swollen cock

But – you know – he’s human

Had something on his mind

Tried to recall lines from Schumann…

And then he was needing to dry his behind

Cuz he had to do

Numbers One and Two

“Ah! That’s better! And now lemme

Forget for the rest of the day that I left my semi

Out here for all the little tykes

Who come to court on school field trips

And find a toy to let them strike

Classmates who give them lip.”

August 30th, 2024
UD has a soft spot for vile cynical crooks who hide behind religious piety.

Whether Yeshiva University favorite Bernie Madoff, super-pious Philip Esformes, or any number of other super-Christian or orthodox Jewish shits, these people — every bit as overdrive-devout as Malaysia’s recent PM (see post below) — are convinced that crosses and prayer shawls will make Letitia James and her ilk take their eye off the ball. LOL.

The antidote.

August 30th, 2024
As a coupla fucks finally go to jail…

UD reposts this commentary on the biggest corruption case of our time.

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‘… Malaysia’s then-Prime Minister Najib Razak … channeled over RM 2.67 billion (approximately US$700 million) into his personal bank accounts from 1Malaysia Development Berhad (1MDB), a government-run strategic development company.’

The hyper-pious ex-PM (‘Najib recently said Islam’s holy book, the Koran, would be the guide for all government policies and actions.’) allows modesty edicts to repress Malaysian women, while he himself pleases Allah by stealing seven hundred million dollars directly from the Malaysian people.

Theologically, it is a conundrum; Allah smiles equally upon downtrodden black-cloaked women AND the world’s largest kleptocracy case. He smiles at sick Malaysian children dying from lack of treatment because, of the six billion in the fund meant to help them and their country, four billion was stolen.

Everything would have been peachy; America’s sweetheart, Goldman Sachs, would have pocketed its suspiciously massive fees from 1MDB, all the other crooks who stole hundreds of millions for themselves would have been fine…

But people began to notice the absence of four plus billion dollars from the world. Things began to sour, see, onaccounta

‘Because the money was stolen, it wasn’t invested; without investment returns, the fund couldn’t pay back the bonds.’

Shades of pious Bernie Madoff (in his case his piety was orthodox Judaism — he acted as the treasurer – not making this up – of Yeshiva University)! Pious Najib and his legion of co-conspirators overlooked the fact that if anything goes wrong with schemes like this, you’re up shit’s creek cuz the money’s already up the nose of your cocaine-snorting, super-yacht-private-jet-super-thin-nyc-penthouse-owning Islamically pious investment group.

Najib now enjoys twelve years of uninterrupted prayer in a Malaysian prison.

Watch this video, titled Behind Goldman Sachs’ Alleged Involvement in the 1MBD Scandal. It explains the gist of the thing. I know you’re distracted by The Trump 300 (700?), but trust me 1MDB is more important; America will survive a once-in-a-lifetime madman having attained the presidency; the sad sick world cannot be defended from lethal international criminals (including, again, our own adorable Goldman Sachs) unless we all make an effort to understand how they are killing us.

August 30th, 2024
$34 million in debt and no will.

Silly boy.

Details.

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