A young politician named Herschel

Has a brain that is all but inertial

His night and day REMs

Made it easy for DEMs

To run some amazing commercials

But how lovely the karma, dear readers!

… makes sure its universities share fully in this bounty. Its two highest-profile campuses – U New Mexico, and New Mexico State – are POP POP POP POPPIN away with healthy rivalry, on the basketball court and off! (For the long glorious sports history – there isn’t any other history – of both schools, go here.) Now that both schools’ teams are literally engaged in an ongoing shooting war, the basketball coaches have, uh, started to issue statements and shit.

Cuz I mean.

Read it all.

When your schools are dumpsters instead of colleges, and when your basketball teams are gangs (with the coaching staff apparently part of the gangs), instead of basketball teams, you should…

Oh I dunno. You’re down there with your guns and your gangs, leading your best life now, living out loud, standing in your truth, letting a smile be your umbrella, and ain’t no place of mine to look at the carnage and say one damn word.

… Instead of ‘High IQ’ People“

“I must say I’m very upset about the antisemitism in the U.S. today. It’s not fair. Kazakhstan is the number one Jew-crushing nation. Stop stealing our hobby. Stop the steal. Stop the steal.”

Man Jumps to his Death off

Mickey and Friends parking lot

at Disneyland

****************

For more Don DeLillo, postmodern, deaths, go here.

About 45,000 people in a central North Carolina county [full of retirees] remained without electricity Sunday afternoon after two electric substations were damaged by gunfire…

*******************

“T’aint nothin,” said Evelina Stanton, 95, a Moore County native, as she packed up a few belongings and moved to an emergency shelter for the week or more it will probably take to get the power back. “I liked to fool around with guns when I was young; we all did. No big deal.”

Indeed a spot poll among county residents showed a majority agreed with the statement GUNS SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN OUT OF THE HANDS OF DOMESTIC TERRORISTS.

********************

Gonna be a real Merry Christmas!

If you promise not to stage a revolution, we promise to pull back the boys we trained to kill all the women. Whaddaya say?

Sing.

It.

Sing it.

TO BLUR, WITH LOVE

Those golden days of blurring Jews

Because they’re girls are gone.

But we’ll take power soon

And then the blurring will still go on and on.

But why do we blur the girls

In a modern liberal democratic state?

Why do we treat them like Iran?

Israel covers and blurs

Because God said women are profane.

The fleshly filthiness of girls

Makes pious haredim insane.

Your wigs and baths and heavy robes

Will please the lord above

And so your newest government says

To blur!  with love.

Pool stammered and said he disagreed with the implication that Jews control the media.

*************************

[Alex Jones] … seemed uncharacteristically rattled as Ye began talking favorably about Hitler. 

**************************

Physicians are starting to see a subvariant of aphasia which they are calling afascia: The sudden inability to articulate your fascism, typically occurring when publicly confronted by a more vehement fascist speaker.

In two recent cases, recounted here, fascist adherents “stammered,” and were “rattled,” in the face of a fellow fascist who failed to disguise – as both of the adherents have learned to do – his murderous antisemitism.

Afascia robs its victims of the capacity to speak their fascism only in the specific circumstance of overpowering homicidal verbal challenge; so the good news is that it is highly treatable by the simple expedient of avoiding the most blatant and articulate fascists. Researchers are also looking into identifying fascists of this sort and subjecting them to The Soros Method: a short course of treatment during which they learn to reference the name George Soros whenever they want to say We need to bring back Hitler to kill all the Jews.

Since Lake Charles is just about the most dangerous place in the country, itty bitty clubs like the VVS1 Hooka Lounge have EIGHT security guards. Eight! How many people can be in a hooka club on a Tuesday? Thirty? But so many of them carry guns and shoot em off that a itty bitty club on a Tuesday night has 8 – count ’em – 8 – armed guards.

*************************

Now, even though they say right there on their website that they have outdoor as well as indoor spaces, in the harsh light of last week’s mass shooting there, the owner seems surprised that

weapons were brought in through the court yard where a tent was set up.

Oh, they brought them in through that door!

That’s what I mean by can-do. You close off one avenue, we’ll find another. Then we’ll kill everybody.

****************************

One more thing about can-do. The club owner will be paying out millions in damages. The city can in principle shut the abattoir down. The owner could close the place. But the place won’t close!

Lake Charles Strong. We’ll come back from this tragedy better armed, with much bigger guns in the hands of younger and more insane people, courtesy of gun-friendly Louisiana.

Did I say gun-friendly? We can do better than that! Louisiana has the highest murder rate of any state in America. VVS1 can’t shut down. We have a record to uphold.

Jalen [Kitna] was the 44th ranked QB in the country coming out of high school, choosing [the University of Florida] over offers from Boston College, Georgia Tech, Liberty, and Tennessee.

You just missed – by this much! – having child pornography added to your long list of whacked out campus erotic exploits.

******************

As for what this means for the Univ. of Florida: On the upside, it’ll give people someone to talk about other than Aaron Hernandez. And the like.

… from whom this blog has long demanded the very highest levels of institutional dementia, and in whom UD has in fact never been disappointed.

Way back in 2006, when UD encountered one of hundreds of Auburn’s fake courses / fake professors / fake departments sports scandals, she embarked upon her Auburn journey, replete with drunks and thugs and sex addicts — and that only describes the upper administration.

Auburn’s new head football coach comes from Liberty U., on whose campus the ambient heavy breathing is either paroxysmal prayer or President Falwell watching his wife fuck the pool boy.

Auburn, like Baylor University, broadcasts its spiritual superiority to us all while behaving in all ways with breathtaking moral degeneracy. It would be too fictional to believe if it weren’t all true. But Coach Hugh Freeze is true, and Auburn is true, and Baylor is true, and Liberty is true.

Because you don’t remain a big fat ethical shit-strip without the full-hearted support of your community, UD was shocked by a recent local jury decision in favor of an Auburn professor who pointed out that the school is a hypocritical cesspool, and who was subsequently systematically destroyed by the administration — everyone, including that week’s president (filthy schools like Auburn can’t keep presidents, cuz their … uh… sins are always in danger of exposure) fucked the guy over in Jesus’ name. The guy sued and won a bunch of money and Auburn got punitive fees imposed etc.

I mean, maybe, as in the case of the tanking Mr Fuckface himself — with his Big Bible Held Aloft + sex/money crimes, treason, and fascist anti-semitism — even the Deep South is tiring of the Shit All Over Jesus Shitshow.

Pablo Eisenberg, a hero of this blog (UD has forever shrieked at super-icky moneybags who give their hundreds of millions to Harvard), has died.

**************************

(By the way — Harvard’s current endowment woes – it has only just reached 53.2 billion dollars – have energized its alumni network to organize a massive, unprecedented, Save Our School campaign, with outreach via Go Fund Me pages in addition to traditional methods. “Our rainy day fund is down to 10.5 billion,” warns Sam Bankman-Fried, an MIT grad who nonetheless accepted a position as head of Harvard fund-raising because “Harvard is the lifeblood of Cambridge; when it goes, the city itself is imperiled.”)

**************************

And as to how to convince people who give their money to Ivy League schools, rather than to the sort of places Eisenberg lists in my headline, to redirect their money… Well, you need to understand the cohort you’re talking about, first of all.

Let’s consider, for example, billionaire investor Marc Wolpow, who gives money to fat cat Wharton. What do we know about Marc?

Here’s our most recent information.

The wealthy head of [a] multi-billion dollar private equity firm is under investigation by Nantucket Police and the state Environmental Police for purposefully untying a 32-foot boat from a slip at Old North Wharf, allowing it to drift out of the Easy Street Basin and into the ferry lane. 

The suspect is Marc Wolpow, the co-CEO and co-founder of the The Audax Group, who allegedly found an unknown boat in the slip he uses on Old North Wharf on the morning of Sunday, Oct. 16…

After Wolpow untied it, the boat drifted dangerously past Steamboat Wharf, got pushed northward in the wash of the car ferry the M/V Woods Hole, then collided with the $5 million, 70-foot Viking sportfishing boat “El Jefe” causing damage to that vessel. It eventually ran aground near 22 Easton Street. 

Reached by phone this week, Wolpow declined to comment. 

********************

Here’s what’s shocking about this story:

1 Just anyone reached Wolpow by phone.

2 Wolpow declined to comment.

Why allow just anyone to get past your protection squad and reach you by phone? That’s nuts.

Even more bizarre is Wolpow’s refusal to say the obvious about his behavior.

Heard of property rights, asshole? [“Asshole” here refers to the person who got through to Wolpow’s phone.] It’s my fucking slip, I own it, and I don’t have to look at some cheap shitty boat some person decided to put in it. Do you think I want Nantucket boat owners to think I have a cheap shitty boat? It’s my right to do whatever I like to cheap shitty boats and I think the fucker who put it in my slip will think twice before he does it again. Oh, and fuck you for calling me.

Getting a person of this sort (Marc Kasowitz, Howard Marks, Vinod Khosla, Noam Gottesman, the Heliport Guys, stop me when you’ve had enough) to give money to what he inevitably is going to consider cheap shitty recipients will be very difficult indeed.