August 13th, 2020
This Just In: Kamala Harris has Reportedly Agreed to Undergo a Purification Ceremony…

… in order to obtain Vice President Mike Pence’s permission to stand alone with him on debate stages.

Along with baptism and prayer, the ceremony apparently will involve temporary assumption of male elements/characteristics (wig, morning suit, beard, dildo), along with Harris’s pledge that she will lower her already low voice to “at least” baritone register.

Rumors have it that in line with Trump covid policy she was also asked to undergo anal disinfection, but the Harris camp has drawn the line at this.

Other details of upcoming debates are beginning to leak out. Pence is said to have doubled down on his insistence that suspended Liberty University president Jerry Falwell Jr moderate the first event. “Everyone deserves a second chance,” the vice president has reportedly said.

August 13th, 2020
Self-plagiarist…

bombs.

August 13th, 2020
“[T]he true innovation of Trumpism is a kind of asshole …

… pride.”

Watch and learn.

August 12th, 2020
‘The incident is now under FBI and Air Force investigation to determine if the helicopter was deliberately shot at or if someone was randomly shooting into the air.’

This incident shows you there’s something very wrong at the NRA.

Here we see what appears to be the deep state threatening to investigate a citizen of Virginia exercising his second amendment right to shoot at American military aircraft — and not a peep out of that organization.

UD can only imagine the chilling effect this is going to have on other Americans attempting to shoot down our helicopters.

*********

The government’s response is particularly disappointing, given that the shooters were almost certainly young people, just beginning to discover the joy of guns. UD will predict that two fourteen year old boys are the shooters here – bored at home because of covid, and taking their parents’ extensive weaponry out for a spin. Good clean American fun, and just the sort of thing the surveillance state cannot abide.

August 12th, 2020
Trump’s Three Post-Retirement…

… models.

Sumner Redstone.

Silvio Berlusconi.

Juan Carlos.

August 12th, 2020
Trump Inspires Best Political Ad of 2020.

His retweet of a Trump Forever video sparked the geniuses at the Lincoln Project. (Scroll down for both videos.)

And a-one and a-two. When the Genius of the Carpathians meets the Genius of Bergen meets the Lincoln Project, great things happen.

Couldn’t have done it without the original tweet from Trump. Keep ’em coming.

August 12th, 2020
So…

fickle.

******************

Sing it!

Donald è mobile…

*******************

[English translation.]

Donald is fickle
Like a feather in the wind,
He changes his voice — and his mind.
Always sweet,
Pretty face,
In tears or in laughter — he is always lying.

August 11th, 2020
Kamala.

In case you haven’t yet heard.

August 11th, 2020
The Crucifixion of J.

With all this Christian love for a president who makes all ordinary sinners look like amateurs, it’s no wonder that Falwell — the president of Liberty University, which was founded by his dad, the legendary Southern Baptist pastor and televangelist — thought it was no big deal to unbutton his pants a little. … [But] Falwell was asked to take an indefinite leave of absence from his job at Liberty University. …

[T]he American right no longer feels any need to justify their will to power with over-the-top moralizing. Dominance has become its own justification. 

So it’s not surprising that Falwell got a little lackadaisical about pretending to believe all that crap he’s been preaching about the virtues of sobriety and chastity. And more than a little dopey that the board of Liberty University is trying to act offended and going through the ritual of asking him to step aside.

*******************

Jerry died for their sins!

August 11th, 2020
Erich Heller Artifact: Wee UD. [Scroll down a bit for other recent Heller posts.]
Debbie Schwartz, UD‘s Northwestern University roommate, gave her The Artist’s Journey into the Interior as a present. Later, as Deborah, Debbie would go on to do pretty well for herself.
Paul de Man blurbs it!
Typical underlining.
August 11th, 2020
Credo in Unum Presidentum.

Recite The Credo with me.

August 10th, 2020
‘With Falwell’s ouster, one of the most influential evangelical institutions in the country is facing an identity crisis: There’s never been a time when Liberty wasn’t led by a Falwell.’

UD proposes as his replacement King Juan Carlos.

August 10th, 2020
Ladies, it’s never too late…

for a trim!

August 10th, 2020
“[T]he most important thing is for the G.O.P. to take such a shellacking in November that they will remember it as the political equivalent of an unsedated colonoscopy.”

Who knew Bret Stephens was capable of such great zingers?

I mean, okay, yes, you could argue there’s a whopper of a mixed metaphor lurking in there (shellacking/colonoscopy?). Who cares.

August 9th, 2020
Exodus

“No, [Jerry] Falwell isn’t facing anything like the academic equivalent of the death toll, economic ruin, and social upheaval that’s now occurring on [his buddy and role model] Trump’s watch, but beneath Liberty’s gleaming exterior, there are signs of trouble. 

In fact, if you’re an academic, you’ll recognize the significance of numbers like these. Here is the shocking decline in Liberty’s freshman applications.”

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