We’ve known celebrated football coach Tommy Tuberville for a long time on this blog; he’s an old friend! Famous for Ponzi schemes, punching his coaches (on camera), beating his players, demanding university-budget-destroying payouts and if he doesn’t get them threatening lawsuits, Tuberville is your standard-issue big-time football coach. And with that financial and ethical history, his next step was obvious: US Senator from Alabama!

Tommy joined the Treason Caucus with incredible enthusiasm, condemning Biden’s fraudulent election to the very end and releasing a statement today that…

Oh. Alabama’s other congresspeople have released statements, but Tommy… Welp, guess Tommy’s not quarterbacking today! Haha! Where the hell’s Tommy?

Tommy?

Now I don’t want you to think UD‘s doin’ that thang where coastal elites make fun of Alabama accents and tell you people from Alabama’s real dumb so let me clarify by quoting some stuff Senator Tuberville, when he was in a more talkative mood, said about the US government he’s trying to bring down from his powerful position as a Senator.

Our government wasn’t set up for one group to have all three branches of government — wasn’t set up that way,” [Senator-Elect Tommy] Tuberville said. “You know, the House, the Senate, and the executive... [A] guy can run for president of the United States and have an opportunity to win when he leans more to a Socialist type of government, you know, one-payer system in health care, raise taxes 20%, when the other half the country is basically voting for freedom, let us control our own lives, stay out of our life. And that’s concerning to me that we’re to the point now where we’ve got almost half the country voting for something that this country wasn’t built on. Very concerning and, you know, as I tell people, my dad fought 76 years ago in Europe to free Europe of Socialism.

Today, you look at this election, we have half this country that made some kind of movement, now they might not believe in it 100 percent, but they made some kind of movement toward socialism. So we’re fighting it right here on our own soil… I remember in 2000 Al Gore was president, United States, president elect, for 30 days – 30 days – and after 30 days, it got to the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court says, no, George Bush is going to be the president…

Get to know your Treason Caucus! This the first of a series of introductions this blog will provide to the newest, and already most high-profile, congressional caucus.

The first of many (?) Republican members of congress calls for the Paranoid Schizophrenic in Chief to be removed via the 25th Amendment.

No one blames her family for taking weeks to announce it; when it happens (as UD knows from her own family), you just want to be alone with it, want to protect the privacy of a beloved, vulnerable, tormented soul.

And then there’s this.

… Jared Kushner’s father [in an email] told a friend that Trump’s actions are “beyond our control.” … [The] president has gotten untethered; there is no longer anyone at all to mediate, even in a craven or enabling way, between his impulses and those of his most delusional, violent supporters. And with his social media accounts shut down, we lack even the usual level of awful access to the pattern of his thoughts. The man who is nothing but performance has been cut off from the audience that gives him shape and meaning.

What is the president doing? Is there a president right now, really? The safety line has gone slack in the cave, and we are all waiting to see what kind of thing will come back out.

Great news, especially for our national security.

Go deep. Use every ounce of pornographic imagination you have for this one. What are you envisioning?

You’re holding back. You’re not letting yourself go there. But think of it this way. Desecrating the Capitol is nothing, killing and injuring people is nothing, almost destroying our democracy is nothing. It’s time for Trump to desecrate the delicate, vulnerable, spiritual lives of millions of Americans.

See him grab randomly at one of the fundamentalist idiots – his equivalent in tricksterism among the bible thumpers – who still think he’s god. See him go in front of the cameras clinging to this person, introducing her as his spiritual advisor, and then crying like Jimmy Swaggart (the men look identical – Trump doesn’t even have to do the theatrics – he can release Swaggart’s tape and say it’s him).

America, I have sinned before thee. Look upon me, a broken man with only his Lord and Savior to love and redeem him. More than half of America hates me! Hates my children! Hates my grandchildren! [Wails.] Have pity on the innocents, my fellow Americans! My grandchildren are not to blame for the sins of their grandfather. Do not scar their lives with rejection and contempt. I know you hate me but Jesus loves me and it doesn’t matter what I do he will always love me!! Right here and now I will be baptized again in the healing waters! [Spiritual advisor lowers him, fully clothed, into a bathtub.] Watch me! Watch the lord transform me into a born-again, humbled, leader! I let power go to my head I fully admit it! And the lord saith pride goeth before a fall and lord I have fallen so low! [Returns, dripping, to microphone.] I hereby renounce Satan and all his ways.

Here is an exact equivalence; here is what Donald Trump has done to us.

In 2012 ISIS men took over a university in Tunisia. Their first act: Replacing the Tunisian flag with the flag of ISIS.

Unlike here in the US, where whatever initial paltry police presence seems to have done virtually nothing, a very brave woman student at the Tunisian university confronted the ISIS thugs and tried to replace the national flag. They almost killed her.

So there we are. Here we are. Violent insurrectionists successfully replaced the American flag with a Trump flag.

“I had a little country once, but it don’t move no more.”

“Because you crushed it, Donnie. Maybe you didn’t mean to, but you’re such a big, strong, man! The biggest, strongest man!”

“I’m the biggest strongest man! … The greatest first term in presidential history!”

“Yes, Donnie. But see the mess you made at the Capitol yesterday?”

“I didn’t mean nuthin! I didn’t mean to kill it! I just wanted to play with it.”

“We know. We know. Don’t cry! Look – there’s only a little time left in your term. Pretty close to the whole country is traumatized and hates you and your family. Don’t you care about your family?”

“I love my family! I love to pet my family!”

“Then it’s time for you to issue a statement agreeing to the orderly transition of power.”

“But can I say in the statement Make America Great Again? [snivels] Can I still say MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?”

“Of course you can, Donnie. You can say lots of things that you think up all by yourself to say! But you HAVE to say that you agree to the peaceful transition of power.”

[wipes nose] “Okay, okay.”

The NYT calls for Trump’s impeachment or criminal prosecution; UD finds herself wondering whether a quicker cleaner way of stashing him in Florida for the duration would be something like the following:

Pence and McConnell, after meeting to work out their strategy, meet with Trump and lay out his options:

1. Stay prez in name only; retire to a distant golf course and make Pence the real prez.
2. Stay in DC and face every form of legal/political torture/humiliation Pence, McConnell, and their co-conspirators can inflict. It will be relentless.

Shumer (the new Senate Majority Leader) begins by saying that we can add January 6 to this country’s list of days that will live in infamy.

[This stain on our country is] the final terrible, indelible legacy of the 45th president of the United States — undoubtedly our worst.

(“Final” is far too optimistic. If Trump isn’t removed soon, worse is probably in store.)

Today’s events did not happen spontaneously. The president who promoted conspiracy theories that motivated these thugs… This president bears a great deal of the blame. This mob was in good part President Trump’s doing – incited by his words, his lies. This violence in good part was his responsibility and his everlasting shame… [This was a] final warning to our nation about a demagogic president… who attempts to push America to the brink of ruin.

For four years, Trump’s critics have been accused of hysteria and hyperbole for describing his movement as fascist, authoritarian, or lawless. Today, as Congress attempts to certify the election of a new president, the president has vindicated those critics. In attempting this coup, Trump has also vindicated the Americans who voted decisively in November to remove him from office.

They stormed the doors, shattering glass. Office buildings near the Capitol were evacuated; the Senate was put on lockdown, as an unduly indulgent Capitol police force were unable to stop those conditioned for a coup from the top from streaming in to the august, hushed halls of legislature. Congress was disputing the results of the Electoral College certification for the third time in 120 years; facetious speeches in favor of nebulous theories of voter fraud were halted, the session adjourned, and senators donned gas masks. The months of waiting had simmered over and the end of the story had arrived. So, there you have it: When a conspiracy is deferred, it explodes.

Trump must be thrilled – he actually got to watch one of his fanatics die of a chest wound on the evening news. Talk about Reality TV! A red letter day for our death-delighting (look at all them covid corpses) president.

With any luck, the MAGA contingent that defies the curfew, hits the streets of DC tonight, and starts killing people, will also be something Trump can watch from home.

Pressure is building from many directions – government, industry – to finally invoke the 25th Amendment. Too bad you can’t use it to bring down every disgusting country-killer in Congress who colluded in the madness. They also bear responsibility for one of the most hideous days in American history.

He appeared to be past caring whether anyone listening heard that as a call to violence.

Several politicians, lying flat on the floor with gas masks on, are calling it an attempted coup.