And – hyuk! – ain’t never a threat to safety. Relax. It’s jest a gun!

… to keep up to date on the zillions of junior high and high schools in this country where the kids who bring loaded guns are suddenly, post-Parkland, attracting attention.

Think about it. These are only the pre-teen and teenage heat-packers people are bothering to rat on. The ones who let their secret slip.

Tip of the gunberg.

****************

Oh, and a word to Mom and Dad: Do make sure your guns are secure.

****************

All that’s left is for the university president to issue the Orwellian War is Peace statement:

We are a safe community, we are a safe campus.

… dumb.

… La Kid, Merrion Square, Dublin.

… the tree guys deal with the fir that fell
on my across the street neighbor’s house.

… UD shares the best wind poem she knows. It’s by Ted Hughes.

**************

Wind

This house has been far out at sea all night,
The woods crashing through darkness, the booming hills,
Winds stampeding the fields under the window
Floundering black astride and blinding wet

Till day rose; then under an orange sky
The hills had new places, and wind wielded
Blade-light, luminous black and emerald,
Flexing like the lens of a mad eye.

At noon I scaled along the house-side as far as
The coal-house door. Once I looked up –
Through the brunt wind that dented the balls of my eyes
The tent of the hills drummed and strained its guyrope,

The fields quivering, the skyline a grimace,
At any second to bang and vanish with a flap;
The wind flung a magpie away and a black-
Back gull bent like an iron bar slowly. The house

Rang like some fine green goblet in the note
That any second would shatter it. Now deep
In chairs, in front of the great fire, we grip
Our hearts and cannot entertain book, thought,

Or each other. We watch the fire blazing,
And feel the roots of the house move, but sit on,
Seeing the window tremble to come in,
Hearing the stones cry out under the horizons.

If O. had been seven years old.

She was 7 when her aunt told her they were going on an errand. She was taken to a dingy apartment. “The next thing I knew, my panties were being taken off and I was sort of just splayed on the ground,” she says.

“Then something really sharp happened,” she adds.

Her aunt ordered her to kiss the hand of the woman who cut her…

Does it get any kinkier?

Can you think of any better way to comprehensively destroy a woman?

At least those of us with pensions.

La Kid snuggles in bed.

It’s a whole new definition of bustling across the street from Fresno State University!

A gang-related gun battle that broke out in northeast Fresno near Fresno State University was interrupted by a police officer who arrived and opened fire.

[The] gunfight resulted in one man being struck several times…

Forget bustle! Guests really had to hustle!

Randal Steinhauer, a guest at University Inn, was inside his room with his 14-month-old daughter when the gunshots rang out.

“I heard gunshots so I grabbed my daughter and went into the bathroom to protect her,” said Steinhauer, 36. “After a little while, like 10 or 15 minutes later, I looked outside and cops were already here.”

Steinhauer said he saw the victim lying between two cars as two officers checked on him. Another man was yelling at the officers, asking them to get an ambulance there, he said.

“It had really been calm here until last night,” Steinhauer said. “This is the first incident and I had been here a couple months now. I like it here, it’s quiet, but now it’s making me and my wife not feel safe here anymore.”

… Another guest of the inn, Debrah Holmes, 55, described the aftermath of the shooting as “chaotic and busy.” She said she and her husband stayed in their room, listening to the gunshots.

“We were upstairs and I heard gunshots,” Holmes said. “So I told my husband to keep your head down.”

… I mean… WHOOPSIES! Did I leave that loaded AR-15 in plain view in the front seat of my car, parked in front of my dorm?

A Bethune-Cookman campus security guard, Kimmarie Bouzianis, was patrolling and checking the school campus around 11:30 p.m. Sunday when she came upon [a student’s] Dodge Challenger not properly parked, investigators said.

While investigating the vehicle, Bouzianis saw a black AR-15 in plain view in the passenger’s front seat, a report states.

As the university’s security checked out the vehicle, [Ronald] Jacques walked out of one of the Lee Rhyant dorms and admitted to the security that the vehicle belonged to him and that he knew an AR-15 was in the front seat, police said.

The security guard then detained Jacques and called police. An officer found the rifle in the vehicle with a loaded magazine. One round was chambered, and the magazine had 17 .223-caliber rounds. A shell casing was found in Jacques’ pocket, police said. Jacques declined to talk to police, a report shows.

********************

Sing it!

There’s a kind of gun
All over our land tonight
All over our land
You can see the sight
Of AR-15s
You know what I mean!
There’s a kind of gun…

… that this month marks the fourth anniversary of the Florida State University shooting, where a madman entered the library and let fly. One student – paralyzed in the attack – is suing the school for failing to provide proper security, and the school’s fighting the suit.

But the student has a point. In order to study in an American university library without risking your life, you have a right to expect armed guards on every floor and snipers on the roof.

… the Parkland massacre and is reporting them. The latest squirt (they’re only saying “teenager” — sixteen?) who wants to kill everybody lives with his gun-mad daddy in ultra-ritzy Westport Connecticut, in a close-to-million-dollar house. Shades of well-heeled Nancy Lanza. Westport is only a hop skip and a jump from Newtown.

These father/son stories are pretty sweet: The babe who lives near UD and wants to kill everybody also has a gun-mad daddy who stores an immense cache of weaponry in the family home… So, like father, like son… Although in the Connecticut case, dad reportedly keeps lots MORE guns in “an out of state location.” Interesting!

An investigation into the suspect’s home revealed a trove of guns, owned by the father.

Although police Chief Foti Koskinas said many of the weapons found are similar to those used in other mass shootings, Cabana said police were unable to confirm the make and model of any of the guns. The family voluntarily turned over the guns, which police say were properly registered, accounted for, and locked in the family’s home at the time of the investigation.

“(The suspect) didn’t physically have access to them at all,” Cabana said. [Right.] The father also hold[s] weapons at an out-of-state location, which police are looking into. It is still unknown where the father bought the guns but police detectives are looking into their source…

****************

Here’s another father/son partnership, though in this case I’m sorry to have to tell you that they weren’t entirely forthcoming about their weaponry. OTOH, the good news is that they’re both out on bond, and all the high school that Junior (he’s eighteen) wants to shoot up has had to do in response to his walking around free is take out an order of protection, so everything’s great!

The Saugerties NY police talked to dad and Junior about Junior’s recent online musings (“I envy [Columbine shooters] Eric [Harris] and Dylan [Klebold]. It must’ve been so fucking fun. They had the right fucking idea. I’m so full of rage anymore. Nothing fucking matters anymore”), and the two of them told the police they had no guns in the house and in fact owned no guns.

In a later interview, on Feb. 27, police learned from Bruce Chargois that in fact there had been firearms in the home, but that he had removed them immediately after being interviewed. Subsequently, police accompanied Bruce Chargois to his place of business, the Greco Brothers Amusement Co., located at 3 Glasco Turnpike, where Bruce Chargois showed detectives where he had hidden five firearms, including a fully automatic 9mm Uzi and an AR-15 assault rifle.

As a result of the seizure of the firearms, Saugerties Police with assistance from members of the New York State Police CNET, the Ulster County District Attorney’s Office and agents from ATF conducted a search warrant at the residence of Connor and Bruce Chargois, located at 5 Sawyerkill Terrace in the village of Saugerties. A quantity of ammunition of varying calibers, homemade knives, machine fabricated gun parts, a prototype of a firearm that Connor Chargois admitted he had been manufacturing in the basement of the house, in addition to a number of completed homemade firearms in both .22 and 9mm caliber capacities were located.

***************

You know who we haven’t heard much from lately? The War on Boys people. Where are the War on Boys people? UD assumes they are as we speak penning their defense of these masculinity-flexing lads and their appalling treatment by their hysterical politically correct schools.

***************

Okay so this one – a teacher! – left a threat online a week ago but no one took it seriously.

Police said Jesse Randall Davidson, 53, had a gun and at least one shot was fired… Police said the shot went through a window.

Police said they do not believe there was any intent to hurt anyone.

Of course not. People who fire random shots out of the windows of high schools full of students have no intent to harm. And no one was harmed!

I mean, haha, except for one wee fellow who broke his ankle while running for his fucking life from his mad weaponized teacher.

**************

No need to worry about these nineteen year olds. They are Future Business Leaders of America.

You knew we’d check in on Western Kentucky University again, right? We’ve been following the fortunes of that school ever since Professor Robert Dietel, way back in 2006, excited intense ridicule and hatred from the school’s trustees for warning that going Division I would destroy the school’s finances.

Now ruined, and a laughingstock, WKU does what they all do: It hires a new deer-in-the-headlights president, a guy who looks the part cuz he wears bowties, and they send him out to shut down what’s left of the school’s academic side. Enjoy his picture. Note the deer-in-the-headlights look. And the This is a Real University; I’m a Real President bowtie. The copyright holder on the bowtie thing is sports-whore supreme Gordon Gee.

The trustees insisted that Dietel was an asshole and that classy coaches like Bobby Petrino and an incredibly expensively recruited (but less carefully vetted) football team would make enrollments skyrocket…

That rocket went flaccid and now Bowtie Bambi meets the glare of national news cameras head-on…

With Spring Break just on its way, and with fond memories of Spring Breaks past (oh wait: that was Father’s Day), it’s downright ominous that yet another merchant is restricting our right to bear arms.

The only way to stop a bad baby with a gun is with a good baby with a gun, and they’re taking guns out of the hands of our babies.

Freedom’s Safest Place right now lies at the frontline of the battle against collectivism: America’s mentally ill babies.

************

That’s why UD (and his outraged lawyers) is so bummed that a judge refuses to let Alwin Chen out of jail before his trial. Who’s going to protect Clarksburg High School (not far from UD‘s house) now that wee Alwin – just eighteen years old and knee-high to a grasshopper, bless him! – isn’t, every day of the school year, bringing his loaded Glock (and a knife) to school?

Alwin’s dad is a YUUUUGE gun (and larger weaponry) lover (they even live – I kid you not – on Gunner’s Lane) and has passed down his vast arsenal to his bouncing baby boy, who wants to kill people just the way his comic book heroes do (read Alwin’s journals).

The only comfort UD takes in our local children’s protector being (temporarily) out of commission is her confidence that there are a dozen or more lads at Clarksburg High just like him.