The post just below is one of several on this blog chronicling the adorable father/son pairs in this country who roll around together at home on top of thick warm layers of illegal loaded guns and explosive devices (see photo). It’s an all-American thing, and chances are you just don’t get it but lookee here – a three-generation human interest story to warm the Glockles of your heart!

Here’s Grandad – the only family member not currently in jail or out on bond awaiting trial – talking to the media about the wonderful world of family weaponry, the way his close-knit clan has used a home environment strewn with hyper-powerful, ready-to-shoot firearms to treat their son’s autism, and the way satanic anti-second amendment forces have invaded the sanctity of their treatment facility/armory.

“It’s not entirely clear how the grandfather of a boy arrested for making threats at the Academy for Sciences and Agriculture in Vadnais Heights is helping the family cause with an interview he’s given,” sneers elitist Minnesota Public Radio about grandaddy’s dark warning that if the gummit don’t leave his people the hell alone, “Fire is coming down from hell.”

From hell, gramps?… What exactly do you mean? Fire from… haha… one of your big ol’ semi-automatics…? … Zat what you’re getting at?

Gramps is pissed: “This has violated our second amendment” right to raise an autistic kid to threaten to shoot up his school with every single one of the loaded guns on his bed.

You got that right. After their thirteen year old son repeatedly threatened to shoot up his school, his mother insisted there were “no weapons in the home.” A search revealed that she and the kid’s father

owned several illegal firearms and kept loaded guns out in the open…

[The father was charged] with two felony counts of prohibited possession of machine guns and short-barreled shotguns and one count of gross misdemeanor negligent storage of firearms where a child can access them.

Authorities on Friday seized a cache of firearms, ammunition and at least two explosive devices… Some of the firearms were unsecured, and a ballistic vest was also recovered…

“Law enforcement officers also recovered several trigger kits hidden in the ceiling of the residence,” said the charges … “They appeared to be conversion kits for converting weapons to automatic weapons. Deputies also discovered literature on how to convert a semi-automatic weapon to a fully automatic weapon.”

America’s family.

****************

[O]nly about one-quarter of [US] gun owners think it essential to alert visitors with children that guns may be present in the home. (Twice as many non-gun-owners think so.) Only 66 percent of gun owners think it essential to keep guns locked up when not in use. (Ninety percent of non-gun-owners think so.) Only 45 percent of them actually do it.

The third day of massive multiple trucks
breaking and shredding and hauling
“a large healthy pine that snapped in
the wind,” says my neighbor.
“It didn’t uproot.”

He’s my unabomber daddy
He means all the world to me
He’s my unabomber daddy
And they made a jail cell jest for him and me

********************

It’s the Patek Philippe watch story a few classes down:

‘You never actually own five hundred guns and explosive devices. You merely look after them for the next generation.’

It’s an Only-in-America kinda thing: Matching father-and-son jail cells.

You know what’s also Only-in-America? They’ll be out of jail in seconds — more paranoid than ever, and accumulating more weaponry.

And – hyuk! – ain’t never a threat to safety. Relax. It’s jest a gun!

… to keep up to date on the zillions of junior high and high schools in this country where the kids who bring loaded guns are suddenly, post-Parkland, attracting attention.

Think about it. These are only the pre-teen and teenage heat-packers people are bothering to rat on. The ones who let their secret slip.

Tip of the gunberg.

****************

Oh, and a word to Mom and Dad: Do make sure your guns are secure.

****************

All that’s left is for the university president to issue the Orwellian War is Peace statement:

We are a safe community, we are a safe campus.

… dumb.

… La Kid, Merrion Square, Dublin.

… the tree guys deal with the fir that fell
on my across the street neighbor’s house.

… UD shares the best wind poem she knows. It’s by Ted Hughes.

**************

Wind

This house has been far out at sea all night,
The woods crashing through darkness, the booming hills,
Winds stampeding the fields under the window
Floundering black astride and blinding wet

Till day rose; then under an orange sky
The hills had new places, and wind wielded
Blade-light, luminous black and emerald,
Flexing like the lens of a mad eye.

At noon I scaled along the house-side as far as
The coal-house door. Once I looked up –
Through the brunt wind that dented the balls of my eyes
The tent of the hills drummed and strained its guyrope,

The fields quivering, the skyline a grimace,
At any second to bang and vanish with a flap;
The wind flung a magpie away and a black-
Back gull bent like an iron bar slowly. The house

Rang like some fine green goblet in the note
That any second would shatter it. Now deep
In chairs, in front of the great fire, we grip
Our hearts and cannot entertain book, thought,

Or each other. We watch the fire blazing,
And feel the roots of the house move, but sit on,
Seeing the window tremble to come in,
Hearing the stones cry out under the horizons.

If O. had been seven years old.

She was 7 when her aunt told her they were going on an errand. She was taken to a dingy apartment. “The next thing I knew, my panties were being taken off and I was sort of just splayed on the ground,” she says.

“Then something really sharp happened,” she adds.

Her aunt ordered her to kiss the hand of the woman who cut her…

Does it get any kinkier?

Can you think of any better way to comprehensively destroy a woman?

At least those of us with pensions.

La Kid snuggles in bed.

It’s a whole new definition of bustling across the street from Fresno State University!

A gang-related gun battle that broke out in northeast Fresno near Fresno State University was interrupted by a police officer who arrived and opened fire.

[The] gunfight resulted in one man being struck several times…

Forget bustle! Guests really had to hustle!

Randal Steinhauer, a guest at University Inn, was inside his room with his 14-month-old daughter when the gunshots rang out.

“I heard gunshots so I grabbed my daughter and went into the bathroom to protect her,” said Steinhauer, 36. “After a little while, like 10 or 15 minutes later, I looked outside and cops were already here.”

Steinhauer said he saw the victim lying between two cars as two officers checked on him. Another man was yelling at the officers, asking them to get an ambulance there, he said.

“It had really been calm here until last night,” Steinhauer said. “This is the first incident and I had been here a couple months now. I like it here, it’s quiet, but now it’s making me and my wife not feel safe here anymore.”

… Another guest of the inn, Debrah Holmes, 55, described the aftermath of the shooting as “chaotic and busy.” She said she and her husband stayed in their room, listening to the gunshots.

“We were upstairs and I heard gunshots,” Holmes said. “So I told my husband to keep your head down.”

… I mean… WHOOPSIES! Did I leave that loaded AR-15 in plain view in the front seat of my car, parked in front of my dorm?

A Bethune-Cookman campus security guard, Kimmarie Bouzianis, was patrolling and checking the school campus around 11:30 p.m. Sunday when she came upon [a student’s] Dodge Challenger not properly parked, investigators said.

While investigating the vehicle, Bouzianis saw a black AR-15 in plain view in the passenger’s front seat, a report states.

As the university’s security checked out the vehicle, [Ronald] Jacques walked out of one of the Lee Rhyant dorms and admitted to the security that the vehicle belonged to him and that he knew an AR-15 was in the front seat, police said.

The security guard then detained Jacques and called police. An officer found the rifle in the vehicle with a loaded magazine. One round was chambered, and the magazine had 17 .223-caliber rounds. A shell casing was found in Jacques’ pocket, police said. Jacques declined to talk to police, a report shows.

********************

Sing it!

There’s a kind of gun
All over our land tonight
All over our land
You can see the sight
Of AR-15s
You know what I mean!
There’s a kind of gun…