Assisted suicide expert and criminology instructor Russel Ogden hasn’t been seen at scandal-plagued Kwantlen Polytechnic University (KPU) since 2008…

Mr. Ogden is … living in the Vancouver area. What’s more, he’s still drawing his KPU salary. The paycheques have never stopped coming, even though the criminologist hasn’t taught a single course at the university in six years.

According to public records, he received $87,910 from KPU in the last fiscal year. For what services, the school administration refuses to say.

Yet another American university – this time it’s Temple – is up against the CAB (Cock And Balls) problem.

In response to its president’s decision to build a football stadium, a local writer slowly, painstakingly, in the manner of a kindergarten teacher, explains why it’s total madness…

Temple has nowhere near enough money to compete in the big leagues.

In fact (let’s put this as simply and slowly as we can…): State taxpayers already hugely subsidize the money-hemorrhaging program, and the stadium will add another hundred million of debt.

At best, Temple would play six or seven [poorly attended] home games a year at the new stadium — even if it doubled as a track-and-field site, you’d still end up with a hulking facility (and, probably, parking lots) that go unused the vast majority of the year.

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So how do we account for the president’s absolute conviction a new stadium will be great, great, GREAT?

Well, it’s like answering the question Why does the University of Nevada Las Vegas president think a billion dollar stadium will be equally great?

It seems clear to UD that these men are thinking not with their big head, but with their little head.

UD proposes a clause in the president’s contract mandating, upon a majority vote of the faculty senate, a regime of Depo-Provera.

I guess they meant it about slippery slopes.

Literally.

Now that’s pretty, ain’t it? You can always count on the profit motive to generate people like Jeff here, who explains La Nouvelle Vague for us.

Empty seats in all the student sections? Big deal. Universities don’t care whether people who have anything to do with them go to football games! Especially since students are poor. Not to mention sloppy drunks. Plus, as an economist at Temple University (which will probably build a new stadium although virtually none of its students attend football games) explains:

“[T]oday’s students aren’t coming to games. That’s a problem all over college football. Even at Minnesota, student attendance didn’t increase from when they played at the Metrodome.”

It’s a national trend, see. We’ve been following the trend on this blog for quite some time. But who cares? Why should Temple care? Only the silent invisible corporate guys in the luxury suites produce any real revenue; the whole show’s for them.

I mean, the whole show’s also for tv networks – they set when the games start, how they’re run, etc.

It’s a beautiful synergy, when you think about it. Players who aren’t students perform in front of local businesspeople who aren’t alumni. These two groups also have in common massive subsidies from… uh… from the students who don’t go to the games. And from all the rest of us.

And listen – if the only two audiences that matter are the guys in the upper decks plus the national tv audience, why build a traditional yawning stadium at all? UD proposes introducing what she calls boutique stadia, on the model of boutique hotels: Small, luxurious, extremely expensive, with vastly more amenities which would include an expanded bar, a gym and a spa and … hell… bedrooms.

The savior of FSU endures yet more mocking.

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Lesson for FSU? Gotta keep an eye on the I-could-puke factor. Eventually your university gets so disgusting that you can expect these public outbursts.

… in a piece this morning about online education.