Take a bow, SIG Sauer.

Taking a page from Diddy’s book, this bigtime thief announces he’s now all about “intense religious study, community service and therapy,” so he should only suffer a touch of probation rather than the heavy jail time he richly deserves.

“Schwartz’s greed was boundless.” US District Attorney, Georgia.

And as to whether, day after tomorrow, he’ll actually get his ass out of his 19 million dollar penthouse, what do you think? A liar who has reneged on every promise he ever made… Leave? Not leave? Cough up those daily contempt fines? Hm… hm… “Even though it was put on the market last year for $19M, attorneys … wrote in bankruptcy court filings that Schwartz, his wife and children continued to live there, preventing any genuine attempts at a sale. It has since been taken off the market.”

“He never closed on [promised business] deals and instead drained roughly $54M from [clients] to spend on personal expenses, luxury watches.” One of the watches was a $120K Grönefeld 1941 Remontoire.

*********************

UPDATE: Schwartz, the Brooklyn-born real estate investor, had more than a dozen supporters in the courtroom, who let out a gasp when [the judge] issued [a] seven-year, three-month sentence.

GASP — A person who stole 54 million dollars GETS PRISON TIME???

A typical American abattoir, Showcase (UD came up with a better name) is of course noisy and gunny all night long. AND it seems to sit right in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Does Garfield Heights have any zoning ordinances?

Trashy Galveston has enough problems without a yearly plague of plastered Trumpers in Wagoneers. All gunned up and ready to rev, they get in fights, puke and piss on the sand, and crash their Gladiators into other Gladiators.

After the killings, etc., last year, locals have fled, leaving their houses to the hundreds and hundreds of police gathered from all over the region (they’re also looking at the National Guard option). America doesn’t have many (any?) truly ‘police state’ locations, but Galveston during Jeep Weekend really does fit the bill — the very population of the place is wall to wall police. The town has imposed new insanely restrictive rules, is confiscating guns, and has basically promised the revelers that they’re going to try every ruse they can think of to arrest them.

B-but it’s an unsanctioned event, UD!

Yes, Dear Reader, but even if, next year, Galveston officials greet each arriving Jeep owner with a prophylactic spray of tear gas, nothing will deter these patriots. They don’t give a shit about sanctions.

Bikers compete in the burn out pit at Suck Bang Blow bar in Murrells Inlet, S.C. during the 2024 Myrtle Beach Spring Rally. Their spinning tires burn rubber often shredding tires and filling the air with smoke, the roar of engines and the cheers from the crowd.

The disgraced CEO of Nightingale Properties says he “learned a valuable lesson” about how he shouldn’t be trusted with other people’s money after admitting to a $63M fraud scheme. 

Elchonon “Elie” Schwartz is hoping to avoid jail time after pleading guilty to one count of wire fraud in February, which carries a maximum 20-year sentence.

******************************

Good boy, Elie! You learned a lesson.

And now you may go.

Thomas Hubert Parker Jr., of Bainbridge, was arrested on May 15, 2025, for allegedly shooting parts of the school zone speed cameras on Shotwell Street, according to investigators with Bainbridge Public Safety.

… Parker is facing 3 counts of “Possession of Tools for the Commission of a Crime” and “Interference with Government Property.”

… Parker is a Doctor of Anesthesiology…

*************************

Shotwell Street LOL.

Here’s the new offending technology. The school district has pushed too far on this one — if you really make people in Georgia slow down, you can expect them to shoot out the school zone system.

*******************

UD thought it might have, er, implications for his employment. I forgot it’s the southland. He’s been named Employee of the Month.

Les UDs will return in the fall, when excess heat and excess crowds go away.

Trial coming up for one of the University of Alabama’s many gun-mad basketball players. Couple years ago a whole bunch of players went out for some fun and ended up shooting a woman to death. I mean, one of them, a friend of the players’, actually shot her, but one of the players provided the gun blahblah.

So the guy who actually shot her just got sentenced to life without parole, and things don’t look too good for the player who handed him the gun. Trial coming up.

Another player out with his teammates that night had already established a “pat-down” entrance whenever introduced before a game (this was a precursor to the much higher profile Ja Morant bit), and he kept it going even after he began to be investigated in connection with the murder. Straightlaced Deadspin considered the fact that the pat-down guy was allowed to play at all “quite shocking,” but c’mon. It’s ALABAMA.

Anyway, here’s a local opinion writer gettin all boohoo bout bloody Bama but really baby nobody gives a shit.

Now that he’s on trial, he’s hunched over a big bible during testimony.

*******************

I guess it could work…

And he was returned to his original school why? Having wisely ejected an insane child now charged with terrorism, the school armed itself against him and took him back?

Interestingly, the focus of this article about him is not whatever rules, or whatever idiocy specific to this school, let him return with his immense, elaborate, killing gear; it’s his mother.

The mother of a [San Antonio] middle school student [that means the kid is 11 to 14] allegedly bought ammunition, magazines and tactical gear for her son, who had expressed a desire to carry out “acts of mass violence” at Jeremiah Rhodes Middle School, according to SAPD.

Ashley Pardo, 33, was arrested on Monday on charges of aiding in commission of terrorism, court records show. She bought the items “with knowledge” that they would be “used to plan and carry out” a crime.

On Monday, the student showed up to Rhodes Middle School campus “wearing a mask, camouflage jacket and tactical pants but left shortly after,” police said... [A family member had earlier] contacted SAPD about items found in the possession of Pardo‘s son, including rifle and pistol ammunition, black tactical gear and an improvised explosive device made from a mortar-style firework. The family member also stated they found three loaded magazines and a note that had several names of mass shooters written on it. Some of the items were inscribed with “14 words” and “SS” symbols – references to white supremacy language and previous mass shootings…

You can buy your kid all the guns and bombs and masks you want, but you can’t give him the guts to use them.

Look at this. A high tea for dogs. That’s not even funny. That’s just degenerate.

Where is it being held?

Cape Town South Africa. Speaking of which, how many dollars to three hundred rand? The tea costs 300 for your dog, 350 for you.

Five hundred dollars…?

[UD looks it up.]

Hahahahahaha you are so wrong. Try again. It goes the other way, doodoo.

Five cents.

Hahahahahaha $16.35.

[Later that same day]

UD: Tea for two South Africans at the Baccarat Hotel NYC costs 54,977.28 rand.

… AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS SWOLLEN FACE.

… at the same moment, California guv tells all state municipalities to get going on the removal of all homeless encampments, and the PM of GB announces the country’s becoming an “island of strangers,” and needs new severe crackdowns on immigration.

Civic life, national life – What do these mean? We can toss that around all day, but at the end of the day, big majorities of people living in most countries/regions want a successfully assimilated population of people who don’t inject in the street.

 ‘[M]y rifle could reasonably have caused you to feel uncomfortable or intimidated … ‘