… It’s drinking-up time at the American university, and although we know all conditioned things are impermanent, a lot of people seem really, really pissed about it.

Yes, yes, only one football program has actually shut down.

As for fraternities [aka eat or be eaten clubs, dahling]: Like vampires, they cannot truly be killed. Fraternities can be suspended while crews hose down the vomit, but they almost always come back to haze again, until once again they are suspended, etc.

Even when a school or a national organization officially shutters them, fraternities live on as rogue operations just off campus.

Fraternities will never authentically be threatened with extinction. They are too important to the nation. The behaviors and attitudes you learn at a fraternity are structural to the leadership of America’s elite financial organizations. Fraternities are not about college; they are about Goldman Sachs.

And on law schools… How has it come to this? Can we actually be about to witness the shuttering of some of them?

Probably.

It’s all about the tragic confluence of the we’ll accredit your Aunt Tillie’s ass ABA, the ne touche pas my salary and course load law professioriate, and a collapsed job market.

In response to the collapsed job market, the ABA continues to accredit new schools.

I know you think that this cannot possibly be true, but it is. Every ten seconds the ABA accredits a new American law school.

Well, not every ten seconds. But frequently.

Even?

What is this former member of a sorority at San Dildo State University trying to tell us?

Wheeeehoooooo!

A local columnist points out that scandalous, money-hemorrhaging University of Hawaii athletics is only part of the story at comprehensively unbelievable UH.

Duh.

In the aftermath of the Pumpkin Riots, Keene State’s president says:

While she recognized students were involved she pointed out that this sort of behavior happens all over the country and many of the rioters involved “had no affiliation” with Keene State students.

Although it’s obviously not true that college riots so violent towns have to call out SWAT teams and national guard troops happen all over the country, the president of Keene has to say this, because she runs a business-model party school founded largely on the provision of liquor. She also runs a school so broadly notorious for alcohol and riots that its riots draw participants from all over the state — which allows her to point out, self-righteously, that not all the rioters were Keene State students…

A student in the audience at this public discussion stood up:

“Keene State was part of the problem,” said John LaFord. “No more of this, ‘we weren’t involved, ‘ or ‘it was other people,’ who did this. We did this. …We were part of the problem and it’s about time we recognize what we did, what we’re doing and what we are all going to do to fix it.”

This naive lad doesn’t understand how business-model party schools work. The president needs to take him aside and explain the school’s business plan.

You don’t fix Keene State. You keep running the drunks as long as you can get away with it.

All for Football!

***************

UD thanks a reader for this update on the legendary legal journey of the highest-paid person at Washington State University, Mike Leach.

WSU: Good on ya!

The American University Hymn

All for Football, all for Football!
All our students’ ransomed dollars:
All our thoughts and words and doings,
All our days and all our hours.

Oh, what wonder! How amazing!
Football, glorious King of kings,
Deigns to call me His beloved,
Lets me rest beneath His wings.

Sing it to this tune: Ay Romania, Romania…

Ay! Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska —
Once there was a land, sweet and lovely.
Ay! Nebraska, Nebraska, Nebraska —
Once there was a school, sweet and fine.
To go there is a pleasure;
What your heart desires you can get:

Pelini’s $7.7 million buyout, aha … !

***************

UPDATE: Good stewards of public money in so many ways.

… which had a winning bid of $57,000.”

“Some of these cats came from 3,000 miles away to play here, to be a part of this, to be a part of all of this!” UAB tight end Tristan Henderson hollered at [UAB president Ray] Watts during his meeting with the team. “But you say numbers? That’s what you come here to say, numbers?”

University of Alabama Birmingham men don’t understand that the school can’t afford football. In order for them to understand why the school shut down the program, they would have to understand numbers.

*******************

Professor Mondo found another good quotation (UD didn’t find it because she couldn’t bear to read the whole article):

“Now you’re telling me I’ve got two more years left to play and I’ve got to give up on football and settle for an education?”

Powering up the shaft at Kesher Israel.

I don’t think the now-notorious UVa gang rape story, as told to Rolling Stone magazine, is a hoax.

But, as I commented to one of my readers who thinks it might be, this blog has covered false rape claims before, and if this turns out to be one, it will certainly do that again.

And of course this blog will cover emergent skeptical takes on the Rolling Stone account. Like this one.

Wow. High roller. Only in Las Vegas.

Background here.

… case.

For reflections on whether this will mean downward pressure on law faculty salaries (UD can’t see how it could be otherwise), go here and read all of the posts on the page.