Graduated Sackler; Has the Esformes Chair…

… how many more besmirched names can this guy fit on his business card?

Defenseman Duckworth: He’s Got it All!

The compleat Louisiana State University student, Li’l Cade The Frat Man smiles at you from his latest mug shot. Get lost in his baby blues and you’ll find everything that makes LSU the fabled school that it is: Sports, Sadism, and Stupefacients.

Witnesses described being forced to lie on broken glass, face down while they both sprayed with a hose, had milk crates thrown at them, and were urinated on.

Duckworth was booked on three counts of misdemeanor criminal hazing (misdemeanor) and one count each of attempted second degree battery, second degree battery and false imprisonment — all felonies.

This was not Duckworth’s first brush with the law. In 2017, he was arrested following a home invasion and burglary near LSU. During a search of the home where the reported robbery took place, police found marijuana and MDMA, also known as ecstasy. Duckworth was booked on one count of possession with intent to distribute …

Honey, only two things missing – sexual assault and possession of an illegal AK47 – and you know the cops is gonna find them iffn they just look more careful.

You can read up on LSU right here on this here blog iffn you want some background on how a university becomes famous for spawning vast colonies of students like this here Li’l Cade. I mean, the place’d be nuthin without its Greek life.

Soccer: Bringing the World…

... together!

Sowwy, Babes.

Anal rape is all growed up.

“[L]ecturers and professors are neither capable of nor tasked with evaluating the facial expressions and gestures of the students.”

Burqa backers sure do twist themselves up into pretzels defending the garment. As another German university bans full facial veiling in classrooms, a Green Party politician assures us that teaching has nothing to do with seeing the people you’re teaching.

FGM: Another Conviction

Australia this time, with a mother feeling for some reason compelled to lie through her teeth about having arranged a procedure she thinks comes “from God.” The jury found her guilty in a matter of minutes. Send enough mutilators to jail and the baby-slashing rate will go down.

Snapshots from Home

UD‘s hometown, Garrett Park, is “the first Maryland town to ban single-use plastic straws,” I’ll have you know. The town council member behind the new law is one of the owners of Founding Farmers restaurant.

***************

UPDATE: From the comments section.

UD loves the locally-popular Garrett Parkers are snobs meme cuz it makes her feel all elite. Listen up:

I live just outside Garrett Park.

This new ordinance is silly, because there’s only ONE restaurant in Garrett Park, and they probably find plastic straws are too “common” for their aesthetic anyways.

Hm – ‘just outside’ … Lady Bracknell?

Never speak disrespectfully of Society, Algernon. Only people who can’t get into it do that.

Not only do we Garrett Parkers find anything short of silver straws common, we also find common people who randomly put quotation marks around certain words, and who write anyways when they mean anyway.

Hiding Miss Daisy

To cover up the scheme, … Esformes ordered his deputies to bribe Florida regulators to get advanced warnings of their inspections and would physically hide patients who didn’t qualify for government-funded care before inspectors arrived.

Hokay, now that we’ve wrapped up the Guzman trial…

it’s time to turn to the father of the most highly-bought-after player on the University of Pennsylvania basketball team! I promise you that the trial of the biggest Medicare fraudmeister in American history will be fun. Incredibly fun.

Wonder if Jerome Allen will follow it from his jail cell.

John Hammergren’s Best Friend Turns on Him

The FDA has stood back and watched proudly as its buddy John Hammergren [scroll down], head of drug distributor McKesson, pockets seven hundred million dollars for ten years of work — but he earned every penny of it, having engineered the distribution, for instance, of five million opioids to Kermit, WV, population four hundred.

Hammergren’s the sort of pusher-billionaire the FDA’s in the business of ignoring… ignoring? Nay, encouraging, as he finds and exploits bottomless wells of addiction in this nation’s hollers and thereby does his part to make America the economic miracle that it is. He’s honored everywhere: Arizona State University named him Executive of the Year; he sits on the board of the prestigious Center for Strategic and International Stupefacients… Because we want people like Hammergren setting policy for us, and for the world, China and India having much larger populations than Kermit, and awaiting McKesson’s ministrations…

Well, it’s all been a win-win arrangement, but now the butcher’s bill is really coming due on the whole opioid thing – ie it’s not just no-‘count West Virginians dying anymore, and even the FDA has today felt compelled to murmur a little demur or two…

***************

The FDA’s his best friend. Wanna know who his lover is? The DEA.

Grapes of Wrath, by Lloyd Blankfein

I been thinkin’, long as I’m a outlaw anyways, maybe I could — Hell, I ain’t thought it out clear, Ma. Don’ worry me now. Don’ worry me…  I’ll be all aroun’ in the dark. I’ll be ever’where — wherever you look. Wherever they’s a prime minister so corrupt he’ll make us billions, I’ll be there. Wherever they’s a filthy leader taking all the money out of his country, I’ll be there.   I’ll be there in the way Malaysian children die in the hospital cuz they’re sick an’ they know Goldman and the prime minister took all the money out of the country . An’ when folks eat dirt and live in the streets — why, I’ll be there. See? 

‘Drop your panties for I cannot wait til lunchtime.’

This is apparently the last place Hungarian passion expressed itself. Poor Viktor Orban.


How do you convince the tiny female population you have left to become state-sponsored brood mares? Orban himself produced five children. Maybe the solution is for him to visit targeted Hungarian homes and fuck any woman under the age of forty whether she likes it or not.

“One, two, three, four! One, two, three, four! Come on, comrades, put a bit of life into it! One, two, three … I’m thirty-nine and I’ve had four children.”

This is the LEAST offensive soccer fan behavior…

…I’ve read about lately.

Women’s Track: Saudi Arabia

It’s a hugely popular sport.

*****************

Why does Saudi Arabia go to such lengths to enslave it women? Given its contempt for them, its insistence on hiding their vileness from sight under veils and in houses, why not follow that instinct out logically and let them go (there’s what UD calls a “Jane Drain” happening there, with lots of high-profile female escapes from the magic kingdom — hence the popularity of the new female-passport-tracking app).

I mean, let’s say roughly ten percent of Saudi women enjoy wearing blankets in the desert, adore being secured under surveillance in their houses and allowed out only under male custody… wouldn’t have it any other way… So … from this population you derive your vaginas and wombs so that sexual pleasure and procreation may proceed. If you need more of this, you import it from countries where there’s a market in women who in exchange for money will throw on all the black shit and go out and rent their uteri.

Harvardize! Let no one else’s work evade your eyes!

SOOOOO many Harvard professors – the latest is Jill Abramson – have plagiarized parts of their books that UD figures it’s time to update Tom Lehrer’s famous song, “Lobachevsky.” It’s not plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize! anymore: It’s Harvardize!

And why wouldn’t a Harvard professor do the deed? They suffer no consequences (“Realistically, you’re not going to fire Laurence Tribe or Charles Ogletree.“).

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UD REVIEWED

Dr. Bernard Carroll, known as the "conscience of psychiatry," contributed to various blogs, including Margaret Soltan's University Diaries, for which he sometimes wrote limericks under the name Adam.
New York Times

George Washington University English professor Margaret Soltan writes a blog called University Diaries, in which she decries the Twilight Zone-ish state our holy land’s institutes of higher ed find themselves in these days.
The Electron Pencil

It’s [UD's] intellectual honesty that makes her blog required reading.
Professor Mondo

There's always something delightful and thought intriguing to be found at Margaret Soltan's no-holds-barred, firebrand tinged blog about university life.
AcademicPub

You can get your RDA of academic liars, cheats, and greedy frauds at University Diaries. All disciplines, plus athletics.
truffula, commenting at Historiann

Margaret Soltan at University Diaries blogs superbly and tirelessly about [university sports] corruption.
Dagblog

University Diaries. Hosted by Margaret Soltan, professor of English at George Washington University. Boy is she pissed — mostly about athletics and funding, the usual scandals — but also about distance learning and diploma mills. She likes poems too. And she sings.
Dissent: The Blog

[UD belittles] Mrs. Palin's degree in communications from the University of Idaho...
The Wall Street Journal

Professor Margaret Soltan, blogging at University Diaries... provide[s] an important voice that challenges the status quo.
Lee Skallerup Bessette, Inside Higher Education

[University Diaries offers] the kind of attention to detail in the use of language that makes reading worthwhile.
Sean Dorrance Kelly, Harvard University

Margaret Soltan's ire is a national treasure.
Roland Greene, Stanford University

The irrepressibly to-the-point Margaret Soltan...
Carlat Psychiatry Blog

Margaret Soltan, whose blog lords it over the rest of ours like a benevolent tyrant...
Perplexed with Narrow Passages

Margaret Soltan is no fan of college sports and her diatribes on the subject can be condescending and annoying. But she makes a good point here...
Outside the Beltway

From Margaret Soltan's excellent coverage of the Bernard Madoff scandal comes this tip...
Money Law

University Diaries offers a long-running, focused, and extremely effective critique of the university as we know it.
Anthony Grafton, American Historical Association

The inimitable Margaret Soltan is, as usual, worth reading. ...
Medical Humanities Blog

I awake this morning to find that the excellent Margaret Soltan has linked here and thereby singlehandedly given [this blog] its heaviest traffic...
Ducks and Drakes

As Margaret Soltan, one of the best academic bloggers, points out, pressure is mounting ...
The Bitch Girls

Many of us bloggers worry that we don’t post enough to keep people’s interest: Margaret Soltan posts every day, and I more or less thought she was the gold standard.
Tenured Radical

University Diaries by Margaret Soltan is one of the best windows onto US university life that I know.
Mary Beard, A Don's Life

[University Diaries offers] a broad sense of what's going on in education today, framed by a passionate and knowledgeable reporter.
More magazine, Canada

If deity were an elected office, I would quit my job to get her on the ballot.
Notes of a Neophyte