One sentence that sums up the spirit of inquiry at the University of Alabama.

What does Tim Williams’ arrest on a misdemeanor gun charge in Tuscaloosa early Thursday morning mean for Alabama at the outside linebacker position?

Wee Small Hours

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky
You can always find rallies to lead
But from dusk till dawn as the clock ticks on
Your poor heart starts to bleed

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world has gone to bed
You lie awake and think about the girl
And how the latest polls show she’s ahead

When your bitter heart has learned its lesson
You’ll be Prez! … But she might have you beat…
In the wee small hours of the morning
That’s the time you have to Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet

With Charlie Weis, it’s twice as nice…

… which is why he’s featured so much on this blog. But there’s so much more to say about universities buying out coaches! UD‘s friend Andrew sends her this inspirational account.

Foundations of Western Universities.

The university foundation – the shady organization of rich boosters who want to do nice things for a particular university without having to be bound by the board of trustees and other pesky official organizations/rules – is often a very naughty thing. Sometimes it’s a slush fund for the president and his or her cronies, as at the University of Louisville, where its main function was loading more and more dollars onto the president’s personal haul. God only knows (channeling the Beach Boys) what many campuses’ sports and administration figures would do without The Foundation.

Iowa State University, the inspiration for Jane Smiley’s novel, Moo, has a typical foundation. It buys stuff the administration is too embarrassed, or legally unable, to buy. Until ISU’s president crash-landed one of the planes the foundation bought, no one seems to have been prompted to ask what Sen. Herman Quirmbach, D-Ames, has asked: “Why does a university need to buy a plane at all?”

In answering that question, UD has always sought the guidance of Purdue University trustee Joanne Brouillette:

Excluding one flight to Naples with several other trustees and administrators, [Purdue University trustee JoAnn] Brouillette’s [twelve private, university-paid] flights [since the beginning of 2008] were to and from Fort Wayne, Ind., only spending 30 minutes in the air. Out of these flights, five of them carried no other passengers.

Big people like go UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN!

UD thanks dmf.

American Higher Education: The Jaw Chronicles

Almost any serious football school in this country can promise its students a small but significant shot at having their jaw broken by a football player. According to UD‘s rough analysis, one student jaw gets broken by one student athlete approximately once a week somewhere in the US.

This week’s “displaced fracture of the left mandible and a non-displaced fracture of the right mandible” took place at Purdue University, a perennial violent-arrest powerhouse.

“Despite the controversy caused by the protestor’s appearance, his presence did seem to attract a larger crowd, and [one of the organizers] said that his arrival was a good thing. ‘I was going to let him stay as long as he wanted to, because once white people see how [a racist] acts, they can just reflect on that and see, ‘Oh, I’m not like that. Oh, I actually might want to help.’ And they might want to push against what his thoughts and what his beliefs are.”

A racist clown rolls through a small Black Lives Matter rally at East Tennessee State University, and because of the inherent drama of a person with a Confederate flag, hanging rope, gorilla mask, and bananas, he attracts far more attention to the rally than it would have had without him. Not only did the crowd grow; thanks to “fervent Trump supporter” Tristan Rettke, the rally has enjoyed big national coverage for the past few days.

That Y’all and Shut Ma Mouth Land

Last Saturday in [the University of Tennesse’s] Neyland Stadium, former state Rep. Jeremy Durham, R-Franklin … reportedly got into a fracas with a Florida fan during the Vols’ eventual win over the Gators…

[A] particularly boisterous Florida fan was yelling loudly. At one point, Durham responded to the yells. The Florida fan started yelling at Durham. Once the Florida fan yelled at Durham, … Durham turned around and hit the man in the face.

… Durham was ousted from the state legislature earlier this month after accusations of sexual misconduct toward at least 22 women. Saturday, he was ousted from Neyland Stadium by security …

[S]eated next to Durham during the episode was [state Sen. Brian] Kelsey …

Despite Kelsey’s shoulder-to-shoulder proximity to Durham at the time of the exchange, the reported slapping of the Florida fan, and the ejection, Kelsey told The Tennessean [newspaper] he was unaware of anything.

“Part of the reason they seemingly did not fire the coach last fall was because [of] the bad optics of paying out millions to buy out the coach’s contract while the state struggled financially.”

College men from LSU
Went in dumb
Come out dumb too


It’s a whole new day!

Well, no one told me about her / The way she lied / Well, no one told me about her / How many people cried / But it’s too late to say you’re sorry / How would I know? / Why should I care? / Please don’t bother trying to find her / She’s not there

Plunging the future of the 2016 Presidential debates into doubt, Donald J. Trump said on Tuesday morning that he would not participate in the remaining two debates if Hillary Clinton is there.

Trump blasted the format of Monday night’s debate by claiming that the presence of Clinton was “specifically designed” to distract him from delivering his message to the American people.

“Every time I said something, she would say something back,” he said. “It was rigged.”

Well, let me tell you ’bout the way she looked
The way she acts and the color of her hair
Her voice was soft and cool
Her eyes were clear and bright
But she’s not there

Well, no one told me about her
What could I do?
Well, no one told me about her
Though they all knew

Maybe. Who knows. One thing’s certain: No bulges in Trump’s clothing.

[Trump supporters] are accusing Hillary of carrying a concealed ‘communications’ device connected to an earpiece, which they suggest could have been used by the candidate to cheat during the debate. Their rationale? [A] photograph of a bulge that ran down the back of her pantsuit on the night of the debate.

Bold new leadership.

[Trump] can show up before an audience of 100 million without preparation …and talk about serious issues with no more sophistication than your crazy uncle.

“A stunning lack of human decency.”

“The deeply conservative Arizona Republic endorsed the Democratic nominee for president for the first time in its 126-year history on Tuesday,” [describing Donald Trump as a man] “with a stunning lack of human decency.”

Nicely tripping iambic pentameter in that phrase: A stunning lack of human decency. Pretty.

Perhaps this will be, for some, a moment of illumination:

But SOFT! what LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?

“In Germany a few years ago, the government forced the resignation of a minister who was a plagiarist. In Bologna, we reward the accused.”

And therefore, as an econ professor at Bologna University announces to his students in a recent letter, “I cannot in good conscience ask you to respect the plagiarism rules which Bologna University allows its own professors to violate.”

Go ahead and cheat: You’re in Italy!


UD admires Lucio Picci. His rage at endemic university corruption has been brewing for so long that it’s bubbled up with something entirely new: An invitation to his students to take their part in the corrupt-from-top-to-bottom world of the Italian university.

Why not? The letter, with its examples of several recent cases of highly decorated Italian professors found guilty of rampant plagiarism but who cares, is attracting a lot of attention, which was no doubt Picci’s plan. Good for him.

Not that the shameless Italians will be moved to change anything here; but the larger world needs to be warned about the farcical Italian university system. There are plenty of other countries where you can study.

[Sniff Sniff.]

Trump, by the end of the night, was left complaining to reporters about alleged problems with his microphone, which he suggested may have been sabotaged. Top surrogate Rudy Giuliani told a reporter Trump should pull out of future debates if moderators didn’t agree to be more deferential.


Colin Jost ✔@ColinJost
Trump is sniffling because he’s allergic to the Constitution

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