Well, when you’re Chicago, you have the nation’s highest kill-rate to maintain. Shutting down hookah bars, which guarantee several mass shootings a year, is not something you’re going to do lightly. Whatever the silly neighbors say.

… and ain’t that enough?

Hyuk! Guess not.

Well, for sure we’re prayin’ for the teacher he shot… Thoughts and prayers…

But this one’s like why hasn’t a mass shooting already happened forty times in that lounge. I mean, maybe it has, but locals are still pretending to be shocked at the mass shooting at another hookah bar down south.

As you know if you read this blog, there’s nothing more banal of late than mass shootings inside hookah bars in southern cities. And this one happened in Baton Rouge, and man I mean ROUGE like flowing all red in the streets!

Apparently there’s a grassroots movement down there to change the city’s name to SANG ROUGE. Better fit.

 Louisiana’s capital city [has made] it big in the world of crime and murder. Baton Rouge has outdone the rest of the state, which is [itself] 40 percent more violent than the nation as a whole. New Orleans is more popular, so Baton Rouge seized the opportunity to top the violent crime list. Baton Rouge isn’t a very large city, but it manages to attract attention by having 49 murders annually. If you have a death wish, it’s a great destination.

A few details here. Some locals – a few – feel kinda bad about the “lack of effort by the state government to address gun violence,” but baby baby baby that’s cuz they love their guns and they love it when they get a chance to shoot ’em off! Hookah bars concentrate large numbers of incapacitated victims in easily accessible, charismatic, locations, and, you know, take any random Saturday night and conditions are RIPE.

Given that everyone knows shooting’s gonna happen – note that Dior’s advertising stresses the word “safely” — wonder why – why does it… well… keep happening?

Look more closely at what Dior offers: Incredibly cheap booze. A dark chaotic place to whip out your guns and get some real killing off before someone notices. Rooms packed with idjits from LSU, one of America’s most violent and stupid locations.

Bloodbath keeps happening because Bloodbath is the state sport of Louisiana, and everything the state does — from basically zero gun restrictions to the proliferation of hookah bars – promotes the sport.

Shut down the bars? Are you fucking nuts? Death’s a way of life down there. UD‘s had enough of inauthentic local pols getting all ‘senseless… tragic.…’ … I mean, being all negative about it. Millions of Americans adore violence and go out of their way to legalize, mainstream, and personally experience it. Bloody, almost dead, and dead people scattered everywhere is Sang Rouge’s effing calling card, it’s their Graceland, their Machu Picchu, their one reliable tourist destination. Find a violent psycho like Jim Jordan to run the city – someone who revels in blood – and GO TO IT.

Remember White Noise, the most important American novel of the last fifty years:

“Look past the violence. There is a wonderful brimming spirit of innocence and fun.”

I like the way she puts that. Have his way with the government.

The hottest $1.3 billion thief EVER is BAAAAAAACK. The man who masterminded the “largest single criminal health-care fraud” in DOJ history got his ass out of jail thanks to his BFF Donald Trump’s pardon, but HUUUGE UD crush Philip Esformes [earlier posts here] is now back in court and I can’t wait to see him again!

Not just cuz he’s cute as hell w/ his Florida tan and late model sports cars, but because he’s done it all. The Medicare fraud was – for those of us who know and … well…. stalk this sex god – nothing. Nothing! Big Phil’s a crook in every conceivable way. You go ahead and name the crime, he’s… well, he hasn’t done the time, because of Trump, but he’s def. done the crime! I’m too old and tired to name them all (and them’s only the ones we know about), but on top of ALL THAT, Esformes is a staggeringly pious Orthodox Jew who always makes a point of giving some of his stolen loot – acquired through the pain and suffering of generations of old people – to Orthodox causes. If you’ve followed the endemic criminality of large swathes of Orthodoxy on this blog, you know that Phil is just a drop in the bucket. But what a drop! Adorable. And coming soon to a court near you.

Ready?

1. Neighbors and the rest of us are not allowed to know who the would-be killer is. Police refuse to release his name. Or the names of his parents. So a lot of people remain at risk. Why are the police doing this?
2. The school claims someone there checked the child’s backpack the morning he almost killed his teacher but they found no gun. They checked the backpack because the child is a known psychotic about whom teachers have been desperately complaining for a long time. A six year old’s backpack is very small. How do you open such a backpack and find no gun?
3. The child is so sick that an arrangement had apparently been worked out that every day he’s in school one of his parents will be physically with him at all times. Can this be true? If so, did one of the parents hand him the gun? As, you know, a form of therapy? Now hon here’s a gun I want you to show me that I can trust you with it…
4. Teachers and parents describe an endemically violent school system in Newport News Virginia. They say principals and the superintendent don’t care, and in fact care only about maintaining their enrollment numbers, which would decrease if they removed all the students carrying guns and trying to kill everyone.
5. Where is the massacrist-to-be? Back in class? Tracking a six year old killer would seem a good thing to do, but we’re not allowed to know where he is.
6. Why haven’t charges been filed against the parents? They let the kid have a loaded gun, and judging by his marksmanship they’ve been letting that happen quite a lot. Doesn’t America have laws against that?

As I point out in this earlier post, America is a violent country not so much because particular individuals are violent; America is a violent country because the people in charge of our institutions – superintendents, school boards – are violent. From Donald Trump down, many of the people who run our country – details here – are themselves lovers of, champions of, violence. What a great and satisfying moment for school administrators in this case when the little massacrist finally did what he kept telling everyone he’d do! Will you look at that! Wow! That excites me right between the legs. Encore.

OFFICIAL FLAG, NEWPORT NEWS PUBLIC SCHOOLS:

Enter, peons, and creatively write! First, though, sign this contract acknowledging my Singular Creative Writing Greatness and your willingness to flunk my course if you deviate AT ALL from my commandments, to which you sign your name! I and I alone will tell you how to creatively write, for there is only one way, and that is the way of The Great And Powerful Salesses!

NONONONO. THAT is not the way to pass anti-suicide legislation in a state ALL of whose values are screamingly suicide-friendly. Why do you think Wyoming’s suicide rate is – by a wide margin – the highest in the nation? Why do you think some self-slaughtering Wyoming counties, their rates way higher than the rest of the state, are strewn with freshly-shot dead white male? Our Wyoming values are guns guns guns (the more guns you got, the more suicides you got), anti-therapy macho stoicism, alcoholism, driving your car like a bat outta hell and eventually right over a cliff, hatred of rules (like securing your guns), divorce, loneliness and long distances. Perfect toxic brew, but we’re Wyoming dammit and we wouldn’t have it any other way! No way any legislation’s gonna pass. Some American state has to stand for Amy Winehouse-style life-affirmation, and – haha! – I guess that’s us. Leemealone w/ my… uh… guns and booze fuck you I’ll do what I want and I spect my state rep to vote my way on this… BANG I’M DEAD.

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‘Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wyo.) lost her primary — was that because Wyoming didn’t approve of her anti-Trumpism, or because she didn’t hold pre-announced campaign events because she faced so many threats?’

The Great State of Wyoming: If We Don’t Kill Ourselves, You Better Bet We’ll Kill YOU! You want Wyoming values? Here you go. We’re an officially violent state baby, so stand back and let us kill and be killed.

State Flag, Wyoming:

David Crosby, Guinnevere.

They don’t really mean we have psychotics who mass murder. We do indeed have these; but other countries do too. UD thinks that what distinguishes the United States is that we have violent people running many of our institutions. We have violent local governments; we have violent school boards.

Let’s not talk about our obscenely violent last president and his barbarians. That’s too easy. Let’s move further down.

Very few countries on earth produce people like Chesa Boudin.

Very few produce people like George Parker, a school superintendent who packs his schools with kiddie psychopaths.

Sure, when six year olds take out their loaded guns in class and expertly shoot their teachers in the chest, George figures he’s gonna have to handle a certain amount of incoming. Like Boudin, he will explain – but not in so many words! – to parents and teachers and kids that some population is going to have to be the sacrificial location where okay a few parents and teachers and kids will be killed but it’s in the service of helping the unfortunate among us and I mean did you know that very few homeless schizophrenics (see Boudin) and psychotic six year olds who live in houses with unsecured guns are homicidal? RELAX. I mean, do the numbers. It’s not gonna happen every day that these people attack your children and their teachers. Y’all are probably gonna be okay. And even if they do attack …

During a three-hour school board meeting dedicated solely to public comment, Newport News teachers and parents said students who assaulted classmates and staff were routinely allowed to stay in the classroom with few consequences. They said the shooting of Abigail Zwerner could have been prevented if not for a toxic environment in which teachers’ concerns are systemically ignored.

“Every day in every one of our schools, teachers, students and other staff members are being hurt,” high school librarian Nicole Cooke told the board. “Every day, they’re hit. They’re bitten. They’re beaten. And they’re allowed to stay so that our [enrollment] numbers look good.”

They’re running some of our schools and local governments. In response, “Many parents are propelled into politics through service on school boards after seeing the [violent] state of their kids’ schools.”

Letting dangerous people deteriorate on the streets and in our schools is not a policy. It’s a nihilism, a degeneracy. A mental violence. You either replace these people and these structures or you run as far away as possible.

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The choices our government makes affect our kids, taxes, schools, roads and lives. They are in the hands of the people we elect — but who we pick is constrained by those willing to run. Our democracy is dodging bullets [released by threatening, violent, gun-obsessed people running in and winning American elections]. We will not be able to do so forever.

Bang.

Qatargate is about socialism, not Italians. It’s not as if Italy is particularly corrupt!

But don’t worry. They’re working on it. Soon Israel won’t have a courts system, and all will be well.

Fine upstanding Mormon man is praised to the skies in his obituary, which fails to mention he shot his entire large extended family to death. He had quite the history of family abuse, too, but none of his Mormon associates seems to have cared enough to protect anyone in the monster’s home. Maybe they figure that’s how you deal with domestic conflict. Let God sort it out or whatever.

Know hope.