UD is intrigued by the upcoming special event, to be held on the evening of November 24 (Thanksgiving), in Roberts County, Texas (in 2017, Roberts voted 95.7% – more than any American county – for Trump). The RNC will reportedly bring together on the same stage, for one night only, its two most inspirational speakers, Kimberly Guilfoyle and Viktor Orban, to offer thanks for Donald Trump, and to instill enthusiasm in a declining-morale political movement.

The party’s leader will likely be indicted, and his theft of sensitive political documents has shocked many former supporters; its congressional prospects dim by the moment; and its full-throated endorsement of attacks on the rights of girls and women has fired up Democratic voters like never before. To counter all of this, the RNC will stage a kind of song and dance between these two veteran crowd-pleasers, in which (if I’m reading advance materials correctly) they will burst out of either stage wing and lock arms center stage while calling each other “Zsa Zsa” and “Dolphie.”

The orchestra will then accompany them in a hilarious version of “You Say Tomato I Say Tomahto,” after which, once the audience settles down, things will take a more serious turn, with reminders from Orban and Guilfoyle that race mixing, homosexuality, and abortion await a nation run by Democrats.

Hey Zsa Zsa want to date?

Let me give you a hand with

Your Replacement Rate!

As Orban sings this next number, Guilfoyle will look confused. Regarding her accusingly, he will pick up the song:

Three ex-husbands, tons of ex-beaus

And Kimberly’s had only one kid!

You’re keeping the white birth rate low!

Aryan Nation’s on a skid!

Kimberly giggles, and coos: “You’re saying you want to do something about it?”

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Apparently there’s a lot more where that came from, but I’ve only been able to get hold of the two opening numbers.