January 15th, 2021
‘The easiest way out of the self-pardon dilemma would be for Trump to make a deal with Mike Pence, under which he would resign before leaving office and Pence would grant him a pardon. Unfortunately for Trump, Pence is still sore about the whole “whipping up a paramilitary mob to lynch him” episode.’

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

January 15th, 2021
Steve Sack, Star Tribune
January 15th, 2021
Cleveland Meredith Has it All.

Fifth-generation Atlantan, handsome, beautiful family, rich, fancy private school (he’s been banned from its grounds for threatening to kill someone who came to speak there), and then the incomparably beautiful Sewanee/University of the South for college, where he got a degree in economics.

Meredith is also a “habitual drug user and has a history of mental illness,” plus a history of threats against women (or, in his nomenclature, ‘cunts’), plus a history of general violence. Plus immense numbers of guns.

And ain’t it the beauty of the United States that a man like this, a deeply disturbed and violent man, with the insane political fanaticism and insane conspiracy theories that accompany his profile, has had no trouble at all… will never have any trouble… amassing a personal arsenal more than worthy of the terrifying terrorist that he is.

You can thank the National Rifle Association for many, many of the Cleveland Merediths pissing and shitting all over the Capitol building on January 6, hauling their rifles into the seat of the American government and killing and threatening to kill people. You can also thank Fuckface for enticing Cleveland Meredith out of his cage.

The question is how to put him back in. It’s going to be difficult.

******************

The January 6 insurrection was better planned and better armed than we first believed. The mob was not a bunch of yahoos, but often middle-class, well-educated professionals, integrated with trained former military and cops.

January 15th, 2021
I’m sorry. You can’t be here.

A Democrat in the U.S. House of Representatives introduced a resolution on Thursday permanently banning President Donald Trump from entering the U.S. Capitol Complex after he leaves office.

January 15th, 2021
The president’s best buddy sings his valedictory song for him.

All sources indicate Fuckface is now a man of constant sorrow. Just like his old friend.

January 14th, 2021
‘He’s not going back to New York and he is not going to enjoy the comfort at Mar-a-Lago he would have in the pre-Capitol-ransacking world,’ retired Brigadier General Peter Zwack, a former Army intelligence officer, [said].’

Pre-Capitol-ransacking world is very nice – has a cool visigothic vibe.

And as to where he’ll end up – I’m on record putting him one suite over from foully disgraced King Juan Carlos in Abu Dhabi, an ultra-luxurious location that will happily inhale the vilest human stink as long as it has money fluttering after it.

January 14th, 2021
‘Trump has Told Staff Not to Pay Rudy Giuliani Over Irritation at Being Impeached Again’

I’m riled again, defiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Impeached, bothered and bewildered – am I

Happened once, then happened twice
Cuz Rudy keeps giving me bad advice
Impeached, bothered and bewildered – am I

Lost to Joe, but what of it
My mob would make it right
But they fucked up the insurrection
And we have lost the fight

I’ll stiff the guy, I’ll starch his shorts
And long for the day when we meet in court
Impeached, bothered and bewildered – am I

January 11th, 2021
‘Donald Trump begins his final week at the White House, and people familiar with the matter say the President is planning a defiant stand despite being blocked from social media and mounting calls for him to resign.’

[Note: The following notes – crayoned throughout a sheaf of Post-Its discovered by our reporter on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and H Street after they were – apparently – discarded by a fleeing White House staff member – chronicle the ex-president’s last days in the Oval Office. Handwriting experts agree it is almost certainly the work of the ex-president himself.]

7 dys to go: They won’t let me have any sharp ojects so hence the crayon. I am tired of masturbating all day also tired of the porn Pence providing! Getting my stash from the world’s biggest born-again prude: great. Only good thing about it: Leaving sperm stains in the Resolute‘s drawers for Biden to find!!!!

6 days to goe: Lara Trump badgering me with interoffice envelopes (Pence allows me no electronic devices = pure vindictedness) full of love notes. She has already secretly divorced Eric and wants us to ‘marry’ in what she calls ‘the bunker’ and then I’d shoot her and then I’d shoot myself and then staffers would cover our bodies with gasoline and set us on fire so no one can abuse our corpses. Or something. Fuck knows where she gets this shit.

5 days to go: Pence turns down my demand to take a victory lap around the country basking in the love of my followers and remembering all the great things I did. He’s still pissed I tried to kill him.

4 days to go: Kim Gillfoil burst in early this AM wearing one of her AMAZING tight red dresses to give me a pep talk. THE-BEST-IS-YET-TO-COME!! yada yada but I could only look at her tits and think about my next jack-off.

3 daze to go: Lin Wood just broke through the Oval Office door with an AK-47! He shot a bunch of people I think. Scared fuck out of me but said he only wanted to ‘touch the hem of your garment’ one last time then S. Service guys rushed in and shot him to pieces. Getting funky!

2 days to go: Pence lets no one in, right? But somehow that fucking niece of mine waltzes right in this morning, tells me to put my pecker away (she’s a lez and DEF. doesn’t like men) and says she’s there on behalf of the family to say goodbye. I tell her to fuck off and she goes away.

1 day to go: Wondered when Melania might show up. It was all about legal stuff – making sure Barron “gets EXACTLY as much as your other children.” Jesus. Yes, woman, yes.

BLASTOFF: Pence insists on praying with me, insists on telling me he forgives me. Three burly guys in white just walked in – taking me “to a great place where great people are going to take care of you!”

January 8th, 2021
Allez-Vous-En, Mon President




Sing it.

Since the moment when first
Like a rocket you burst
In our hitherto tranquil skies,
We’ve been startled to find
You are firmly aligned
With evil and treason and lies.
Therefore please do not take me to task
If the following favor I ask:

Allez-vous-en, allez-vous-en, monsieur,
Allez-vous-en, go away.
Allez-vous-en, allez-vous-en, monsieur,
I have no time for you today.
Do be a dear, just disappear, monsieur,
Bid me goodbye, do, do, do.
Allez-vous-en, please go away, monsieur,
We all are disgusted with you.

January 4th, 2021
What do so many of us have in mind when we call Trump a nihilist?

This.

Thousands of people are dying every day now from the pandemic. What is Donald doing? He’s giving rallies with people crammed in together, not wearing masks. It’s almost like Donald is saying, “See. Fuck you. You rejected me. Fine, I’m going to kill all of you.” What is weird is that he is killing his own supporters. It is almost a type of performative omnipotence.

************

I’ve already, on this blog, cited Ubu the King, Trump’s closest precursor, who announces that as monarch his aim is to make his fortune, after which “I’ll kill everybody and go away.”

January 3rd, 2021
‘Unless there are portions of the tape that somehow negate criminal intent, “I just want to find 11,780 votes” and his threats against Raffensperger and his counsel violate 52 U.S. Code § 20511. His best defense would be insanity.’

Michael Bromwich, on the phone call that made it to “infamous” faster than you can say 25th Amendment.

January 3rd, 2021
Trump Vote Tampering: Biden Responds.
January 3rd, 2021
Donald Trump Sings the Jennifer Holliday Classic, “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.”


(Additional lyrics: Telephone conversation transcript, Donald Trump and Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger.)

RECITATIVE

Where’s my state? Raffensperger where’s my state?
Love me: Georgia was supposed to love me.


[Chorus: You’ve been nuts you’ve been mean And gettin’ fatter all the time We put up with you for much too long We have put up with selfish

And all your screaming too You’re always thinking of you All you can do is rant and rave Now we’re telling you it’s all over]

And I am telling you I’m not going

I’m staying I’m staying AND YOU’RE GONNA FIND MY VOTES

ARIA

The people of Georgia are angry The people in the country are angry. 

And there’s nothing wrong with saying, you know, um That you’ve recalculated.

So look. All I want to do is this.

I just want to find 11,780 votes

One more than we have!

Because we won the state.

There’s no way I lost Georgia.

There’s no way.

We won by hundreds of thousands of votes.

And I am telling you I ain’t leaving!

Look what you’ve done to the president —

Look what you’ve done to the president

People hate what you did to the president.

So tell me, Brad, what are we going to do?

We won the election, and it’s not fair 
And I am telling you
I’m not going
I’m the best man I’ll ever know
There’s no way I can ever go
No, no, there’s no way
No, no, no, no way I’m leaving the White House
I wanna be president
I don’t wanna be free
I’m staying, I’m staying
And you, and you
You’re all gonna love me

And I am telling you I’m not going
Even though the rough times are showing
There’s just no way, there’s no way

I’m staying I’m staying I’m not going

December 21st, 2020
The Barr Tab Comes Due.

That will teach our mad bad king: Never appoint to your court anyone with a shred of independence.

December 16th, 2020
“Palm Beach has many lovely estates for sale, and we are confident President Trump will find one which meets his needs.”

You can cut the condescension. I’m not going anywhere near Mar-A-Lago. I’m moving to Molena, Georgia, a convenient drive away from Jimmy Carter, with whom I plan to build Habitat for Humanity houses; and the location of Sahaj Marg Ashram, where I will live.

Meditation, Cleaning (“imagining the day’s accumulated impressions [going] out one’s back and being replaced with divine light”), and Prayer will occupy my days when I am not working with Jimmy.

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