The way-Catholic Cardinal Ritter Is standing knee-deep in the shitter. But what can they do? That fucking tattoo. At least you can't call the team quitters.
The way-Catholic Cardinal Ritter Is standing knee-deep in the shitter. But what can they do? That fucking tattoo. At least you can't call the team quitters.
A naughty young man from Fuzhou
Thought China should equally know
Our every analysis
Regarding catalysis.
And now off to prison he’ll go.
The adventures of Leniency Alec
Are now looking downright vandalic:
From Epstein’s erections
To child-sex projections
The theme’s become totally phallic.
You can’t have a sip of Campari.
It’s hotter than ten Kalaharis.
So tell us Michel.
I mean, what the hell?
Why did FIFA select the Qataris?
Listen up, cuz I’m gonna be brief:
Who wrote the thing, Sontag or Rieff?
Conservative; Sorelist —
Who wrote Mind of Moralist?
Was someone around here a thief?
Our school of pharma doth deplore
The racketeering John Kapoor.
We’ve ordered a slurry
Cuz we’re in a hurry
To sandblast his name from the door.
At drug firms there’s truly a science
To being the Chief of Compliance:
A grasp geographic
Of best towns to traffic
Plus conspiracy, greed, and connivance.
Our period’s Decadent, Late.
Provenance: The Sackler Estate.
“But to pay for our Braques
With this family’s smahck
Is one step too far for the Tate.”
Now finds himself somewhat in crisis:
‘I chopped no one’s head!
I made not one man dead!
Get to know me – I’m really the nicest.’
U Buffalo’s generous donor
Gives each of his salesmen a boner.
One dancer exotic
For every narcotic
That you sell for the company’s owner.
Ol’ Baylor grad Judge Ralphie Strother
Frees one Baylor boy after another.
“Hell them thangs ain’t rapes.
They jest got into some scrapes.
In Waco you look after yer brother.”
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And good lord! It’s hard to keep up with all the Baylor raping. Here’s a handy timeline, just to get you started.
Grijalva attacks Ryan Zinke
Who hits back with G.’s problem with drinky.
Each man is a schlump
In the era of Trump;
It’s hard to say which is more stinky.
For Psycho, you want Tony Perkins;
For Chopin, select Rudolf Serkin.
But do not approach
As your next football coach
The problem from hell, D.J. Durkin.
John Martin. Sarkisian. Puliafito/Varma. Tyndall.
Takes a whole lot of naughtiness merely to kindle
A bit of Oh me!
From ol’ USC.
It’s less of a school than a swindle.
From My Blockbuster Tell-All on Rudy
By his (soon to be ex) third wife Judy:
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[I swear I wrote this before Diapergate.]