But so par for the course at America’s greatest pretender to academic seriousness.

And, you know, just after everything that has made and continues to make West Virginia University a national laughingstock, it only makes sense for students at an equally risible school like Texas State University to urge university leaders to make WVU their model and liquor up the games.

One may argue the [Texas State] football team has not given fans something to cheer about in recent years, but part of the problem may be that a major aspect of sporting events has been absent at Bobcat Stadium — alcohol… If alcohol was sold at Bobcat Stadium, the university would surely see an increase in attendance and revenue. According to the West Virginia Gazette, West Virginia University first sold alcohol at its football games during the 2011-2012 season. The school made $520,000 from alcohol sales alone, and a total of $1.26 million in concession sales that year. Considering those figures, imagine selling alcohol at Texas State football games to a fan base and culture that embraces drinking.

A culture that embraces drinking. Such a dainty way to put it.

[I]t’s scary to think it only takes one brain-dead knucklehead to target Manziel’s helmet-encased brain.

At the Thanksgiving game, the group deep-fries eight turkeys and installs an alcohol ice luge…

I call it

AMERICA: FUCK YEAH!

You say this is too much strength conditioning!

I say

Welcome to Iowa!

You say This bartender’s too young!

I say

Welcome to Iowa!

You say Blowing a .248 is just too much!

I say

Try .341, sucker! (If she’d been doing herself anally, University of Tennessee style, she’d have had a .448!) And welcome to Iowa! America’s Number Two party school last year, and this year — America’s Number One!

***********************

[UD thanks Stephen for the link.]

Ah, but this is America, where classes are routinely cancelled for football games, but if you so much as leave a game early you may eventually be subject to punishment.

More good news for Penn State.

You go, Minot State!

… the only university UD has characterized as well on its way toward becoming a faculty-free sports factory, has now been officially ranked as just about the most embarrassing sports school in America.

UD thanks David, a reader, for sending her the Grid of Shame, which of course ranks Penn State the very lowest, but which places Marshall only slighter higher.

But everybody can easily afford it. It’s like when you make Glaxo pay out three billion. No biggie.

How bizarre to find this sentence in a review of a new book about big-time university football. The reviewer recounts (and the book recounts) a routinely sordid chapter in the life of a routinely sordid sports whore – the University of Tennessee – and then the reviewer suddenly offers that phrase: unbecoming of a university.

UD was pulled up short by it, since never in her long athletics-blogging life has it occurred to her to consider more than a handful of the sports factories about which she writes universities. She doesn’t write about them because they are universities. She writes about them because they are illegitimate recipients of state and federal tax dollars and tax breaks because someone thinks they are universities. She writes about them because maybe if enough people realize they are not universities they will be shut down and we won’t have to keep paying for them.

… this good.

That’s ESPN.

The same thing’s coming to a university near you.

… that the NCAA will be looking to hire around ten thousand lawyers in the next couple of decades. Cases like these are going to be a steady source of employment.

… featured in a recent YouTube that went way viral, you know your school has a lot to be proud of. Dave Christensen remains the coach at the University of Wyoming because… well, you saw the video. You don’t let a man like that go. Precious. Plus, under Christensen, Wyoming “struggles finding victories against opponents with a pulse”!

With all that as background, you can understand why Wyoming’s president has just gone public with his love of Wyoming football. In a heartfelt column in the “news” section of the university’s website (UD is unsure why the president’s love letter is “news”), President Number One Fan says nothing about Coach Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You, Opposing Coach, for Beating Us and nothing about the team’s problem with pulsating opponents. What excites him instead is the way football at Wyoming inculcates a

drive to succeed, good work ethic, sense of responsibility, knowing how to win and how to lose, skill in planning, understanding the rules of a game, treating others including competitors with respect, ethical behavior toward others, knowing how to work with teammates, and so forth.

Is President Sternberg being ironic?

UD doesn’t think so.