September 21st, 2015
O, Reason Not the Waste!

I have seen, while serving as departmental chair and on [the University of Texas] Faculty Council executive and budget advisory committees, four presidents at UT Austin, at least as many provosts, and many faculty committees wasting time on athletics that could be better spent on academics.

September 21st, 2015
Rutgers University is the Functional Equivalent of Donald Trump

Run by mad substitute football coach Norries Wilson [“Wilson … proceeded to go around the [press conference] room calling on individual reporters one at a time like a school teacher. The first person he called on worked for Penn State athletics and was simply at the press conference to record quotes, so he didn’t have a question. Later, [Norries] called on a photographer who was only filming, so she also didn’t have a question…. [A] reporter referred to the Rutgers head coach as ‘Flood.’ Wilson interrupted the question and demanded the reporter call him ‘Coach Flood.'”], Rutgers University now does little more than express for the nation the institution-wide surreality of big-time university sports (“The New Brunswick jail can probably field a terrific football team.”), exactly the way Donald Trump expresses for us the surreality of presidential campaigns.

Rutgers’ putative president wants nothing to do with an athletics program that has anyway, like so many such programs, almost fully spun off from whatever leftovers in New Brunswick people are calling a “university” (see details on the total divorce between universities and their big sports programs here), and the fall of the Rutgers second-in-command (really first, but let’s go with the fiction that presidents run sports factories) COACH Flood, leaves us with the Alexander Haig-like (“I’m in control here.”) figure of third-in-command Norries. All sportsdom this morning talks of his wacko press conference, and there’s no one left at Rutgers to send in the vaudeville hook.

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One difference between Trump and Rutgers: Trump is really rich…

Oh but Rutgers is well on its way, given all those big-time football bucks…

The program is a financial disgrace. Since 2003-04, it has racked up $287 million in deficits. The university’s financial plan for sports calls for $183 million in additional deficits through 2022 — despite new revenue from the Big Ten Conference.

These deficits have been funded with subsidies from student fees (students have no say about that, of course) and university general funds.

September 20th, 2015
“I’m trying to get them to understand that they’ve been doing dance for years,” [instructor Randy] James said. “Everything is dance.”

The one hundred percent guaranteed A course in Dance Appreciation that football player Nadir Barnwell failed despite the coach’s direct intervention with the professor is all the rage at Rutgers.

The Dance Appreciation class Barnwell failed is a popular one on campus, with four sections this semester and a dozen more offered online through the university’s Mason Gross School of the Arts.

Sixteen sections! A dozen online!

The key factor in a grade is attendance, according to the online postings about the class.

What does attendance mean if you’re taking it online? If Barnwell took it online, how did he fail the course? Did the tutor whose job it is to take his classes for him fail to click on CLICK HERE? That’s a pretty poor excuse for a tutor.

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Had Barnwell stayed in the course long enough to pick up on the everything is dance thing, he’d have had a clear path to an A: His tutor could have submitted a paper titled The Home Invasion Hornpipe.

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A commenter describes the real point of the course:

Basically the class helps support the dance program. Instead of buying books, you buy tickets to the Mason Gross dance concerts and have to go watch, plus write a one-page reaction paper. I think it was like 50 bucks overall.

Assuming this is correct, UD proposes renaming the course Dance Program Appreciation.

September 19th, 2015
‘”I think it’s sad to see all this money being poured into the football program, and we have members of the football team robbing and beating up other students,” said Rutgers senior Tyler Williams.’

As for the players, as one explains, “We’re really a tight team. You’re going to defend your brothers. I’m going to do anything for those guys I’m out there playing with.” Which sounds wonderful until you see it play out in a bar when one of them gets in a fight and the others rush in to play defense. Or when some on-campus criminal mastermind organizes them into an armed home invasion team. They’re a violent lot, the Rutgers football guys, and very group-oriented. There’s no I in RUTGERS FOOTBALL.

Coach Flood will do anything for the guys. He even sets up little teas with faculty members to swap ideas on how best to educate them.

[One] get-together lasted about 50 minutes … and resulted in [a] part-time prof agreeing to assign [one player] extra work that could improve his grade because she felt “implicitly intimidated” and “uncomfortable,” given Flood’s status.

Flood gets along just as well with full-time faculty.

[A faculty rep] believes Flood’s decision to lean on a part-time professor who earns around $4,800 per class and enjoys little job protection wasn’t an accident. “A tenured professor like me would have told him go to hell.”

Yes, go to hell highest paid public employee in New Jersey! (And don’t forget those bonuses for, uh, successful get-togethers with professors!) Go to hell most powerful man on campus who with one word can rouse hordes of fans to ruin my life! Tenured Rutgers Faculty to Flood: Go To Hell!

Ah but they’re weary now, weary… (Headline: RUTGERS COMMUNITY WEARY…)

They need to bring back Ray Rice, pride of Rutgers, to slap a little sense into them…

September 17th, 2015
Brilliant Comrade Kim Jong Un Addresses His People!

Beloved Leader!

September 16th, 2015
Rutgers: When the University’s Front Porch Becomes a…

dumpster fire.

Dumpster Fire

Football’s a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring.
Bound by wild desire
We fell into a dumpster fire.

We fell into a burning dumpster fire,
We went down, down, down as the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns,
The dumpster fire, the dumpster fire.

Our football coach is sweet
His recruits can’t be beat
We fell for him like a child,
Oh, but the fire went wild.

We fell into a burning dumpster fire,
We went down, down, down as the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns,
The dumpster fire, the dumpster fire.

September 16th, 2015
Rutgers University Responds to Domestic Violence With…

… a concrete initiative.

September 14th, 2015
This cri de coeur reminds us that …

… we’ve got a hell of a classy match-up in a few days: Rutgers v. Penn State. American university football at its prettiest.

September 14th, 2015
What if they gave a football team and nobody came?

At Rutgers University, it’s OFFense, DEFense, and SUSpense, as eager fans wait to see who’s been suspended today.

It’s just the very very beginning of the season, and Rutgers has already tossed SEVEN players, which UD thinks (she is not sure) is a new world record.

Today’s guy – something about a big fight outside the Rutgers stadium after a game – brings this hour’s total to lucky seven.

The team’s indiscretions have gone from a list to a mnemonic device:

[P]ossible violation of impermissible contact stemming from an email [the coach] allegedly sent to a faculty member regarding the academic status of a player … the arrests of six players who have since been dismissed from the program over the last 10 days… [the suspension of a player because of a fight]…

Say that five times fast!

September 13th, 2015
Scummy Sports School Struggles Over Whether to Honor its Scummy Coach

The University of Memphis is a stinker of a sports factory with a venerable history of violations and voided seasons. Mafia-style basketball coach John Calipari brought his special approach to coaching to UM a few years ago (he’s now at Kentucky) and got them wins and voided wins in time-honored fashion and fine. We all know the deal and who cares about the voided part? We still won. We won the way you win in big-time university sports: Hired an incredibly expensive cheater (“Cal probably doesn’t have to cheat now as much as he used to, but he’s still the standard. The rest of us can’t even deal in his league. He’s the best.”) who cheated us there. So?

Oh but now some moral purists at UM are balking at honoring Calipari at a campus event as he’s inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame because oh no he was a cheater and because of him we had to void our wins.

Listen up.

[F]ans are mad… because Calipari left in the midst of an NCAA investigation into Derrick Rose’s eligibility, which eventually voided the 2007-08 season and the Tigers’ Final Four appearance. This is rich, because they sure didn’t seem to have a problem with Calipari’s methods when his teams were marching deep into the tournament every year, even though his previous Final Four appearance with UMass was also voided because Marcus Camby accepted money and gifts. They also think he stole Xavier Henry, who had signed a letter-of-intent, and DeMarcus Cousins, who had verbally committed, away from Memphis as he left, as if those players should’ve been forced to attend Memphis after the coach that recruited them left.

John Calipari is a good basketball coach and a great recruiter, and in some ways his open recruitment of one-and-dones and promise to get them ready for the NBA is the most honest arrangement in college basketball. Sure, he almost certainly looks the other way as his players and programs commit NCAA violations, but it’s not as if Memphis didn’t know that when they hired him, and it’s hardly as if he’s the only college basketball coach doing so.

Or put it like this:

[Memphis fans are upset because] Calipari’s 2008 Final Four run with Memphis was vacated by the NCAA after star player Derrick Rose was found to have cheated on his SAT. (Even though Calipari himself was never found at fault — and even though rule-breaking and rule-bending is ingrained in the culture of supposedly “amateur” college basketball.)

September 12th, 2015
Vandals live up to …

… their name.

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… $285 worth of merchandise was stolen from the campus store during a time when the store was open only to members of the football team.

Only way to make sure you’re not only caught but correctly identified.

September 12th, 2015
Somebody needs to explain the whole “front porch” thing…

… to this writer.

September 12th, 2015
A Coltish New Player for Indiana State

[Indiana State Police recently] executed a search warrant at his apartment and reported finding a Colt .45 handgun, 47 grams of cocaine, 13 grams of heroin, three half-smoked blunts and $920 in cash…

“[Antonio Allen] will practice tomorrow,” [Indiana State football coach Mike] Sanford said Wednesday.

September 12th, 2015
“This has nothing to do with Rutgers University. Flood’s pre-pro-ball and pre-prison prep program has absolutely nothing to do with Rutgers University…other than to drain millions from the Rutgers budget.”

A voice in a comment thread grapples with the latest mega-scandal at Rutgers University. (The football team boasts both an armed invasion gang and a coach who allegedly puts pressure on professors to pass players who have flunked courses.) The commenter attempts to argue that a thing which drains millions of dollars from a university’s budget has really nothing to do with the university. Hm.

September 11th, 2015
SUPER Coacha Inconsolata at Rutgers

Like Yeshiva University’s Richard Joel, Robert Barchi of mega-scandal school Rutgers is essentially a rich guy who wants to be left alone to attend corporate board meetings with people like himself. He doesn’t wanna know from his school’s massively catastrophic overspending on athletics, and he certainly doesn’t wanna threaten his classiness (doctor, university president, corporate seat holder) by grubbing around with lowlifes like sadist coach Mike Rice and recruiter-of-criminals coach Kyle Flood. (The governor of the state has expressed a close variant of this approach: “I certainly have a lot more important things than worry about what wide receiver is suspend[ed] for a few games recently. Being governor of New Jersey and running for president is a little more important than that.”)

So as per usual, as the fact of his football coach having recruited a bevy of armed home invaders becomes national news, Barchi’s remaining above the fray.

In this he represents – as you know if you read this blog – one of the, er, dominant typologies among jock school presidents.

Some JSP‘s are totally happily down and dirty with their having to devote their entire tenure to football and basketball scandals (these include not only … problematic players and coaches, but also regular gigantic buyout payments and litigation costs when coaches are fired or leave or whatever, plus other pesky matters like the new stadium that fucked the institution’s budget but good and sits empty because no one attends games, post-game student riots, drunk and disorderly tailgates, that teensy academic scandal over in communication studies, etc., etc.). But some JSP‘s, like Barchi, come to the job with a sense of themselves incompatible with, say, spending days desperately lobbying the state legislature for alcohol sales in the stadium. They just don’t see themselves as liquor shills, and you’re not going to get them to do this sort of thing, however much money the empty stadium is hemorrhaging. He’s a high-ranking academic officer, dammit, and there are certain duties he will not perform.

But if, on your presidential daily rounds, you refuse to visit your school’s field of dreams, its denizens are going to feel offended. Like this guy. He’s really pissed with the president, and he’ll tell you why.

First, though, he wants to share a photograph with you. Granddad Flood cradles an awed baby in his arms right after a win on the field!

Okay, now that we’re in the Coacha Inconsolata mood, let’s roll.

The writer begins by quoting another local scribe shocked at Barchi’s refusal to help Coach Flood out of this latest mess:

Ask President Robert Barchi to step in and help? He can’t even pretend he likes the big-time athletics part of his job…

How can he not like the big-time athletics part of his job? What’s not to like?

And now the writer, noting the fact of Barchi having left Flood to twist slowly slowly in the wind, expresses his incredulity:

The president of the university – the president of a school embroiled in all sorts of negative publicity, with a coach who is the most visible face of said university – hasn’t spoken with the coach about the latest issue? Really?

Football’s the front porch, which means coach is the front face, and if you’d just rather not deal with that, if you prefer a sense of yourself as resident in a cloister rather than a flophouse with a wraparound porch, you’re going to avoid the coach.

Now the writer quotes another outraged Rutgers fan.

[T]o leave Coach Flood facing the media alone for the crimes by students and student athletes announced this week just isn’t right… Rutgers is the size of a small city and will have its bad elements who should be disciplined and prosecuted as appropriate.

The pertinent crime committed was the recruitment of criminals. That crime was committed by Flood alone – he being the ultimate decision-maker (you don’t actually think there are admissions committees that look at these guys, do you?). As for the bad elements, when these turn out to be not just players but coaches like (base salary close to $700,000) Mike Rice, you’re not just talking elements. You’re talking about entire enchiladas (which is why no one’s surprised that Flood also turns out to be fucking with the academic staff).

Okay, so get out your hankies – time for the Coacha Inconsolata final appeal:

Flood has been standing alone. Facing the media….alone. And representing himself, his team, his university – and mine – with dignity and forthrightness. Alone. And that is shameful and wrong.

BWAH!

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