Newly released Uvalde footage shows police “vomiting and sobbing” after entering the abattoir.

Everyone’s tired of “thoughts and prayers,” but no alternative has emerged. Until now. Sobs and Vomits.

1. No mass shootings.
2. 230 arrests.
3. Hundreds of injuries.
4. NO MASS SHOOTINGS!
5. Thousands of drunks puking in the ocean, revving their engines, playing screamingly loud music, injuring themselves and each other, endangering an army of police, frightening and disgusting the locals.
6. NOT ONE SINGLE MASS SHOOTING

‘That this kind of weapon is a favorite of school shooters, and these are schoolchildren, only adds to the disgusting character of the events here. Carrying a gun like this in the public square is a way to constantly communicate the threat of deadly force to those around you. A gun like this exists for two purposes: to maim and kill, and to communicate the threat thereof…

 [R]ight-wingers [routinely] show up heavily armed to statehouses in an explicit communication of the threat of deadly force if they do not get their way on matters of public policy. This is not normal political expression…’

This happened in Severn, Maryland, not far from UD‘s ‘thesda.

 ‘From 2011 to 2020, people [dying] at the hands of firearms in Tennessee increased by 48%.’

[Sing it.]

If you’re young and armed.

For it’s hard with your skills

To resist random kills
If you’re young and armed
You can go to extremes
With big massacre schemes

You can laugh when your dead
Have a hole for their head
And life gets more exciting
With each passing day
And hate is either in your heart

Or on its way
Don’t you know that it’s worth
Every treasure on earth
To be young and armed
For as rich as you are
It’s much better by far
To be young and armed

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you’ll destroy
You adorable boy
And here is the best part
You’ve had a head start
If you are among the very
Young and armed

An eight year old with a loaded handgun. Big deal. The six year old in Newport News didn’t just smuggle in a loaded handgun — he shot his teacher with it! Maybe Grand Rapids is eyeing the forty million dollar lawsuit she’s filed against the N.N. school district; maybe Grand Rapids figures if it’s caught four handguns it’s almost certainly failed to catch another twenty or so.

Whatever. It has made the right call by banning backpacks: As UD has been saying, our public schools are currently living in a fool’s paradise, and until they look like armed camps they’re asking for a bloodbath. Guns are all over the schools; and of course they’re all over the schools’ surrounding communities. Inside and out, everyone’s a target, and as the wee Nashville massacrist demonstrated (using the same technique as the wee Sandy Hook guy), all you have to do is shoot out windows to get into a locked building. Which means the schools might want to take a look, first of all, at their windows. The safest schools won’t have windows at all (don’t laugh: did you think we’d see the end of backpacks?) but will look like the medieval fortresses they now need to be. Adding to the pre-modern feel will be a general arming of teachers and administrators, all of whom will now be able to solve work squabbles via shootouts.

And you know what? We’re going to see a large rise in home schooling — motivated not by any particular ideology, but simply by a desire to see your kid not be eviscerated by an AR-15. I mean, broadly speaking, the saturation of public life by guns means the end of public life – public schools, public shopping malls, public libraries – too dangerous. America is already overrun by gated communities with extensive private security. Get ready to see much, much more of that.

 “He’s off the wall. Doesn’t sit still, ever,” says the mother of the violent six-year-old who routinely beat up his fellow public school students and, as a special treat, took out the gun his mother had left lying around and shot his teacher because “he felt like he was being ignored.”

UD trusts that those parents who can are removing their kids from a system run by idiots. As for the others – tell your kid to keep her head down. And pray.

… takes us to the bustling, dynamic, city of Atlanta, Georgia, where a few hours ago a guy walked into a Midtown building and mowed down several people.

He remains at large; only one of his targets has died so far, but UD assumes others will succumb to their wounds.

Did you know that Bay St Louis, site of today’s mass murder, is a charming Gulf Coast destination, and the birthplace of noted historian/plagiarist Stephen Ambrose? Voted Best Place to Live in Mississippi, BSL has also got berserk, bullet-spraying, teenagers. They own all kindsa guns, they know how to use ’em, and they like to kill lotsa people. Y’all come down now, y’hear? We got the “friendliest gun laws in the nation.”

MMT, a new way to travel the highways and byways of our amazing country. Stay tuned!

“Nothing.”

*********************

UD will be updating this story throughout the day.

*********************

UPDATE #1: 11:22 AM

The suspect, Francisco Oropeza, remains on the run.

He is rumored to have joined the so-called AR-Gang (the name is a takeoff on Our Gang), a large underground group of people all of whom are on the run from having recently killed at least five people with their AR-15s. The core membership is made up of mass murderers, but membership is open to any AR-15 owner who wants to meet with other AR-15 enthusiasts.

UPDATE #2: 11:29 AM

The NRA has issued a statement:

We are appalled but not surprised at the wokeism that would persistently harass a lawful owner of a firearm as he practices firing his weapon. Any family that would try to take away our guns needs some basic lessons in the Second Amendment.

As for Mr. Oropeza, the NRA Legal Defense Fund will be providing him a highly regarded Second Amendment attorney to represent him at trial.

Failed local Republican candidate Eric Casteel‘s outside the box approach to problem solving focuses primarily on pulling guns on Republicans on the Allegheny PA county council when he doesn’t like the way a vote’s going. But he only threatens Republicans with his gun; let’s see what he does, next council meeting, or whenever they annoy him, to Democrats.

I mean, he’s being held without bond on terroristic whatever plus other shit right now, but when he gets out, locked and loaded and looking like this (scroll down for a portrait of our country’s compleat contemporary statesman), watch out, Libs!!!

… shows that we’ve moved from late night sketchy gunfight locations (hookah bars) to wholesome kids’ dance class locations. Look at the Facebook page for this once-wonderful, now utterly bloodied, place.

********************

Four dead, many injured, most in their teens. UD‘s gonna go ahead and guess that what got the fight going was the same old shit – two guys arguing over a girl. But now, along with fists, lots of kids have got a gun.

And it was so innocent a place – a dance studio for kids – that I’m sure no one thought they’d need to pat people down for weapons.

Yet surely they knew that everyone in this story lives (died) in the seventh most gun-friendly state in America. Guns per capita: 33.15. Look at this list! Do people in Alabama look at these lists??

Not to be mean, but what the fuck sort of thing do people think is going to happen.

***************************

Keenan Cooper, the DJ at the party, told WBMA-TV that the party was stopped briefly when attendees heard someone had a gun. He said people with guns were asked to leave, but no one left. 

See how it is? No security. “Asked to leave.” WTF. Alabama has to accept what it is – 33.15 guns per capita – and act accordingly. No place is even a little safe with 33.15 per capita. Get it?

Nope. Deadville’s nihilist mayor says “trying to control guns would prove … futile … .”

A Nashville, Tenn., florist is refusing to serve a Republican National Committee (RNC) fundraiser featuring former President Trump in protest over lack of action on gun control laws… [The shop calls for] other Nashville businesses to refuse money from the RNC “until they begin to make the changes to gun laws that most Americans are calling for. … Our community has just lost seven people, including three young children, to yet another school shooting. At this moment I cannot ignore the work that the RNC has done to create this tragedy and so many others like it… The Republican Party has wasted taxpayer money and precious legislative will on banning drag shows, rather than assault rifles that are being used to murder children in their classrooms.“

*****************

UPDATE: The GOP responds.

“We already found another place.”

… where gun ownership is mandatory, has begun to attract attention from social theorists as well as policy makers due to its sudden, exponential, growth.

The so-called ‘Flakellants’ (pronounced “flak,” not “flake”) derive their identity from the medieval Flagellants, groups of religious fanatics who marched – and march: flagellants continue to exist – through the towns and cities of Europe half naked, scourging themselves bloody with penitential whips in a public, masochistic act of self-mortification.

Contemporary “Flak”ellants – in a behavior reflecting what David French describes as “a form of gun idolatry or gun fetish that treats a gun as a quasi-sacred object” – march semi-nude in public thoroughfares while scourging themselves with guns in the shape of crucifixes.

Last week, a three thousand-strong contingent of Flakellants took to the streets of Provo (for modesty’s sake, women Flakellants wear flak jackets), their numbers increasing as local citizens spontaneously grabbed their own guns, attached heavy ropes to them, and pistol-whipped themselves.

All Flakellant marches end with at least one public suicide as an act of ultimate sacrifice/penitence; these are apparently never planned but rather the result of an overflow of spiritual/gun-bearing fervor. “Of course, it’s a sin,” one of the Provo marchers commented to a reporter covering the event, “but you can’t stop someone determined to bow to the power of the gun. For us, the pouring out of their blood in front of us is a communion as powerful as the Blood of the Lamb. We wet our fingers with this sacred outpouring and mark our foreheads and our gun crosses with it.”

The next Flakellant march (co-sponsored by the Catholic organization Rifle-Scopus Dei) will be in two days, in Salt Lake City, led by Tennessee Representative Andrew Ogles. It is expected to attract at least ten thousand participants.

‘A Round-Up of

Today’s Massacres and

Attempted Massacres:

Another Monday in the United States of America.’