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The contest in which you are asked to write the worst possible opening sentence you can think of for a story or a novel has announced this year’s winners.

I like the three winning sentences quoted here, but none of them can touch this one, a winner from an earlier year:

The widow Hasha Brown, whose agrarian husband had died from an unfortunate accident involving a hoe, leaned on the filigree railing of her balcony, overlooking her lavish, ornate Idaho estate, her dewy breasts protruding from her Pucci-print dressing gown like subterranean tubers saturated and distended from the vernal rains.

Winner and still champeen.

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3 Responses to “2009 Bulwer-Lytton Awards Announced”

  1. RJO Says:

    Caitlin Hopkins over at Vast Public Indifference is always on the lookout for authentic names that deserve a place in some future work of fiction. Her latest discovery is Miss Fanny Forward who died in 1799 at (alas) the age of 17. Perhaps Miss Forward will appear in one of next year’s Bulwer-Lytton entries.

  2. david foster Says:

    Check out the 15-word opening line contest.

  3. Margaret Soltan Says:

    david: Fun!

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